mommymilkies Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I thought I was in the clear for at least my oldest dd. She has always been an absolute angel. Never has she given me grief or attitude. Nor has she almost even caused any amount of trouble. People kept telling me to watch out for those pre-teen and teen years because she would get angsty and get an attitude. "Never my angel!", I thought. My son, on the other hand, was already a handful and I feared those years. Alas, I feel it starting already. In the past few weeks, I've noticed her rebeling, glaring at me, giving me attitude. My son, OTOH, has taken her angel status and has become a helpful Mama's Boy. :lol: I've never been overbearing or overdemanding of her. Only these past few months have I ramped up my educational expectations of her because I know her ability and she was behind in math. She's always been like my buddy and amazingly helpful. Please, please tell me what to do here. Books? Articles? (Secular preferred) What can I do to calmly and nicely deal with this without losing it. I was a horrible, horrible, horrible pre-teen and teen. Hands down, I would have won an award. I was like a festering overflowing ball of emotion for a decade. I don't want her to go down that road or be as difficult as I was! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 What do you want the boundaries to be? Is it ok for her to glare but not actually speak disrespectfully? To take her attitude to her room but not with the rest of the family? You need to spell things out for her so that she knows what the boundaries are? Then you need to talk to her about hormones, and chaotic emotions. Only my ds is that old but we've worked out strategies for him to handle his emotions - he's allowed to excuse himself to be alone if he needs to be, he has stepped up his activity level greatly and knows that he needs to monitor his protein intake much more since low bloodsugar can take his teen emotions/hormones and do a number on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 (edited) Mine cycle in and out of trying to have an attitude. I think you have to let go of all the dire warnings and work through it like any other stage in their development that requires correction of course. If you buy into the "teens are just like that," you will be tempted to let it go on. And just keep telling yourself that this isn't your ds and dd changing who they are, it is a stage they are working through. My approach has always been to not allow any disrespect at all. My dc are learning how to treat other people from the way I interact with them. I think of the grown-up version of what they are doing and whether it is acceptable, polite behavior. If not, I don't allow it. Being a mean mom has been wonderful for my dc; I'm just too mean to allow anyone to treat me badly when I am feeding and educating them. Because I have no tolerance whatsoever, I never let it slip or pass. I discuss and correct and guide through every bad attitude, attempted glare, etc. ETA: I just realized she is 10. At 10, they are just a misbehaving child. Definitely just a phase. Girls at 10 can be a bear. :glare: Edited March 13, 2011 by angela in ohio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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