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Book recommendations for panicky mom staring down the throat of 9th grade?


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I'm sure there must have been threads like this before, but evidently my search skills are on vacation today.

 

So...high school. College prep. Getting ready for SAT and ACT tests. It's LOOMING at me something awful this week. My previous plans are not going to work out, and we're probably going to have to do this at home. When we started this whole adventure we planned to try to have him ready to go back to school by high school. He is not. He has an anxiety disorder, and due to his previous experiences at school any sort of school-like institutional building brings on panic attacks. He is doing a LOT better after 5 years of homeschooling, and can calmly navagate almost any setting in the community EXCEPT institutional classroom settings. This year he is attending a social skills class for autistic teens up at our local university, and after a slightly rocky start is doing well there. I thought it would be a good stepping stone for him because it's a small group with several competent adults on hand, all of whom are familiar with autism and anxiety issues. And it has been a good thing. Next year we'll continue with that, and there's a religion class he can take at an "institutional" type of building in a classroom setting. It'll be a larger group of "typically developing" kids, but it will be in a small building and just for one class rather than the overwhelm of the big high school building. I had hoped to have him do a couple of classes through a local online charter school so he could get some experience dealing with other teachers without having to actually be IN the classroom. However I finally was able to track down someone there who can speak with authority--as opposed to just "um...I don't think we can do that"--and evidently it is specified in their charter that they do not allow dual enrollment, so it's all or nothing. He's not ready for all or nothing. He's just not. I do know that the local public high school, which is reasonably safe and academically appropriate, allows homeschoolers to participate in extracurricular activities and also to take a few classes here and there, so that would be one option. I don't really think he's ready to face that setting for next year, though. We need to take baby steps and not undo all the progress we've made. By the end of high school, though, I would really like him to be able to function well in a classroom setting because he's smart enough to handle college (academically, at least) and I don't think he would be happy in a career that didn't require at least some college education.

 

All of which is probably neither here nor there as far as my question here goes, except that maybe to show a little why I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and panicky about this whole high school thing. Anyway, I'm going to have to be in charge of more of this production than I'm really comfortable with, and I would really appreciate any book recommendations you might have for me that could help me feel more confident about things like what kinds of records I need to be keeping, how to assign course credits, how to prepare for PSAT, SAT, and ACT exams (and how to arrange for a student to take the things), and all that good stuff. It wasn't so scary when it was still a year or two away and I thought I'd have more outside help, but now that it's sitting there on THIS year's fall calendar I'm finding myself really intimidated. Maybe it's just the January blahs. I don't know. Anyway...books? A little encouragement? I'm kind of feeling like I need to curl up with a book that tells me it's all going to be ok, and all I need to do is....

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All of which is probably neither here nor there as far as my question here goes, except that maybe to show a little why I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and panicky about this whole high school thing. Anyway, I'm going to have to be in charge of more of this production than I'm really comfortable with, and I would really appreciate any book recommendations you might have for me that could help me feel more confident about things like what kinds of records I need to be keeping, how to assign course credits, how to prepare for PSAT, SAT, and ACT exams (and how to arrange for a student to take the things), and all that good stuff. It wasn't so scary when it was still a year or two away and I thought I'd have more outside help, but now that it's sitting there on THIS year's fall calendar I'm finding myself really intimidated. Maybe it's just the January blahs. I don't know. Anyway...books? A little encouragement? I'm kind of feeling like I need to curl up with a book that tells me it's all going to be ok, and all I need to do is....

 

 

Here are some I read when I was thinking about high school:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Homeschooling-High-School-Planning-Admission/dp/1932096116/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1296772041&sr=1-4

 

 

http://www.amazon.com/Homeschoolers-College-Admissions-Handbook-18-Year-Old/dp/0761527540/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1296772041&sr=1-5

 

http://www.amazon.com/High-School-Handbook-Junior-Too/dp/0966093771/ref=sr_1_19?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1296772338&sr=1-19

 

 

Don't worry - it will be fine. :) At the outset, it seems like a bigger deal than it actually is. Definitely sounds like an excellent choice for your son. Good luck!

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I'm concerned that I may be in the same boat as you! My daughter is very social, has many friends and regularly goes out with them. However, that darned school situation makes her nervous! I decided to homeschool her for the first time this year (8th grade) since last year she was filled with panic attacks just to walk into the school building that she had attended since K.

 

I wanted to give her a year to decompress before highschool. I have NO idea if she will be able to go to HS next year. I had her take the Catholic High SChool Placement Test this year (though we will probably send her to public) and she threw up in the morning just thinking of taking a test in the school. She ended up going, and did very well, but the morning of she was a nervous wreck.

 

I totally understand what you are going through and I hope that things work out for you.

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I second the suggestion of reading Jeanne Gowen Dennis's Homeschooling High School: Planning Ahead for College Admission; the author makes homeschooling through high school seem doable. (It is written from a Christian perspective, but I recommend it to all.)

 

Definitely keep reading the high school and college boards here; there is a lot of wisdom to be found here. Also, if your son is interested in a selective college, I also recommend joining the Yahoo group hs2coll · Homeschooling toward college.

 

Also read the threads here that have been tagged high school prep, high school planning, and high school chat.

 

And on the subject of autism, there was some good discussion on the Yahoo group homeschool2college (this is a different group from the one I mentioned above though it has a similar name) beginning with post 27918.

 

Regards,

Kareni

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First, don't panic! :)

You have lots of time ahead of you, and if need be, you CAN homeschool all the way through high school. Just take it one step at a time. All the things you listed are NOT all going to be "due" at once. In fact, NONE of those things are due RIGHT NOW. :) Really, you are really at the perfect stage for starting planning and getting organized, a little at a time, over the next 8 months until it's time to start 9th grade in August or September. :)

Okay, so start with a deep cleansing breath... ;)

And here's a game plan for you:

1. Don't panic

2. Continue to first address DS's Aspberger needs (consider posting specific questions, as others here are homeschooling high schoolers with varying levels of Aspberger needs)

3. Do some research (see linked posts below)

4. Make a high school plan (find out what credits your state requires for high school, and also what your DS's needs are, and what other things you'd like to see happen in high school, and jot it all down in a list)

5. Then decide which 5-6 credits you want to tackle in 9th grade.

6. Then research/decide what curriculum will best connect with accomplishing those 5-6 credits. (that may be a tutor for one-on-one for a class; online individual course options; distance learning satellite or DVD courses; local homeschool co-op; regular textbook program; etc.)

7. Then for recordkeeping, decide what works best for you for keeping track of grades and work accomplished, and just keep up with it (say, once a week or once a month)

8. Realize you will not need to worry about preparing for the PSAT until 10th grade, or preparing for ACT/SAT until 11th grade -- your DS will mature a lot between now and then, and you will be farther along in your homeschooling and better equipped to handle that need later on.

9. Realize you don't have to worry about colleges until 11th/12th grade. And maybe the BEST option for your DS will be to NOT go straight to college -- but, rather, go to a community college -- or go into the work world and be gaining real-life skills. (A dear friend of mine has a son with Aspberger's, who finished high school, and then took 4 years of working and real life to finally bloom -- in his own perfect timing! -- to know what he wanted to do and to make college happen for himself at that time. It was the best thing for him, not pushing into college right after high school! :))


Below are links to some past threads on getting started with planning for high school. Welcome to high school homeschooling -- you're gonna do a great job! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.


Past thread on book recommendations: Favorite Books about Homeschooling High School?

The first 8 threads linked in this past post of Soon To Be High Schooler should be helpful, as are all about recommending books and resources for getting started homeschooling high school. (The last 4 are about doing a specifically Well Trained Mind classical model history/literature.)

Then in this past post of Would You Share Your High School Plans, I linked a lot of past threads on related topics of getting started homeschooling high school.

Edited by Lori D.
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Amy welcome to the high school board! Even though I had planned on doing high school at home all along, it was a scary undertaking as suddenly everything counts. This board and all the other moms who are going through the same thing, or have BTDT, have made the transition so much easier than it would have been.

 

No suggestions for books, but there is a wealth of info here that can take days or weeks to read through. As has been said, just take it one step at a time. You don't have to have him ready for the SATs right away, or know how to do college applications either. Just concentrate on thinking about what you want his high school education to look like, and what resources you want to use to meet your goals. It sounds like you've already got a good idea, and are really customizing his education to his needs - awesome!!! You've already begun to research what's available to you too. It sounds like you've been doing a great job with your son!

 

It may not be what you had wanted to do, but he's going to have a great high school experience thanks to his mom's willingness to do what she'd rather not. I'll bet you'll even enjoy the extra time with him before college. :)

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Thank you so much everyone. You make this sound do-able! I really do know, somewhere underneath that it's going to all be ok in the end, I was just having one of those "moments", y'know? Where it all hits you at once and it feels like you've bitten off more than you can chew? Really, he has come an incredibly long way since we first started homeschooling 5 years ago, and I know that he will continue to grow and mature, and when we get where we're going, we'll probably be ready for it. It's just kind of scary to feel like the whole entire burden for getting him ready for adulthood is on ME. And really, I do have a LOT of support from family and friends, and especially dh, but I am the one where the rubber hits the road, and some days...well...you probably know what I mean. Maybe God will send me a guidance counselor friend to live in one of the homes for sale on our street...lol. He sent me a special ed teacher neighbor at an opportune time, so you never know. ;)

 

I'm off to check out the book recommendations. Thank you for taking pity on me. :)

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Just one suggestion: Since you are hoping to gradually insert him into a public school setting, make sure you know how their scope and sequence is organized. For instance, keep your school offerings basically on track so that he can move in to theirs without an academic bump, since he will already be dealing with the anxiety bump. For instance, wanting to keep the option for public school open, we chose to do the traditional sequence of math rather than integrated math like Singapore or Saxon. There can be sequences in other subjects as well. Best source for this is your local high school.

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Just one suggestion: Since you are hoping to gradually insert him into a public school setting, make sure you know how their scope and sequence is organized. For instance, keep your school offerings basically on track so that he can move in to theirs without an academic bump, since he will already be dealing with the anxiety bump. For instance, wanting to keep the option for public school open, we chose to do the traditional sequence of math rather than integrated math like Singapore or Saxon. There can be sequences in other subjects as well. Best source for this is your local high school.

 

Thanks, that's good advice. I think at this point the gradual insertion would look more like an educational buffet, where we let him take a few courses there, but probably not a full load. And if he did go back full-time it would be with an IEP, which would make the academics a bit more customizable. But it is something I'm trying to keep in mind, just to keep my options open. I spent some time day before yesterday looking up my state's graduation requirements and whatnot. I'm kind of thinking at this point that full-time is just not going to happen, though. But I do think it would be good for him to be ABLE to sit in a classroom, at least for an hour or two at a time because otherwise his college and work options will be more limited. But hey, last night his social skills group (at the local university) went out on a "scavenger hunt" in which they had to do things like ask a store clerk what was his favorite candy the store sold, and ask a stranger where the bathroom was in another building, take a picture of the mascot in the student center, and at the end order their own ice cream at the campus snack hang-out place, and he did just fine. He said he wasn't even very nervous (each scavenging group had one of the grad student supervisors with it so he felt safe). And he's not quite 14 now, so that's a good sign for being able to function on campus, eh?

 

And don't even talk about math. Shudder.

 

This is a kid who not only taught himself to read when he was 3, but learned all his addition facts when he was 4 just for fun, and when he started kindergarten he knew a lot of his multiplication facts--just because they were cool and exciting--and was in LOVE with negative numbers. By the time we pulled him out of school at the end of 3rd grade he hated, loathed, despised and abominated anything that even SMELLED like math. It still makes me angry just to think about. It has been such a journey getting him through the "issues" he has developed around math and back to the point where he can not only face it down, but is beginning to enjoy it again. But we're a bit behind. Probably about a year. Believe me, that is one subject I am NOT in a hurry to turn back over to the public school. It's still much too touch and go and some heavy-handed teacher who thought they knew better than me would ignore my advice and make wreckage of all my hard work. Nope, math is mine. MINE I TELL YOU! MWAHAHAHAAAA! They would have to pry it from my cold dead fingers. ;)

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