How does one persuade a 2-year-old to clean up messes?

[melissel]

In an effort to pull things together around here, I'm trying to teach my ornery li'l mess maker to clean up after herself--or at least participate in the group effort. She used to love to help, and would set to with gusto, singing the clean-up song. But she's since decided that cleaning up has lost its novelty, and when I instruct her to help, she says, "Almooooooost..." and runs off.

 

I know I can't expect a whole lot from her, but I think she's capable of more than that! And my 5-year-old is relatively good with pitching in, but I hate making her clean up what turns out to mainly be her sister's messes all the time. Any suggestions?

[AudreyTN]

Try to make some kind of game out of it... not just the song.

 

I remember at my birthday parties my mom would have a game for whoever popped the most balloons... then she'd have a prize for whoever collected the most balloon pieces.

 

Maybe... also teaching her to count... just make her pick up 5 things. No matter how big the mess is. Then when she's good at 5 make it 6.

 

Have some kind of "prize" for completing the task. A cookie. A cup of juice, if she normally doesn't get one at that time.

 

Just some ideas :)

[coffeegal]

We use specific instructions along with plenty of cheers. For instance, I told my children to pick up the 'Barbies' or another toy. If that was too much, I would instruct the child to pick up a Barbie and put it away. Then repeat as needed. :rolleyes: I've also physically guided my small children through the actions needed, however cheers with the promise of a treat once the room is cleaned works best. :)

 

HTH!!

[GothicGyrl]

"10 second tidy" from the PBS show Big Comfy Couch. It worked big time with my now 11 yr old. I used to, in a sing song voice " 10 second tidy!" and she'd "omg" big eyed, and start cleaning. We'd sing the song while we did it.

 

It worked for us because when it happened on the show, we did it at the same time and turned it into a race to see who could beat the show. :)

[ereks mom]

I've used all of the tactics mentioned above:

 

"Pick up the blocks...(later) pick up the Barbies..."

 

"Bring me 4 blocks." (Then 3, then 1, etc.)

 

"Put the yellow blocks in the bucket." (Then do the other colors one at a time.)

 

But my all-time favorite was:

 

"It's time for a 10-second tidy." I would actually set a timer & we would race around the room to pick up stuff. Later, when the dc were a bit older, I would set the timer for 10 minutes and make specific assignments for each dc, like "unload the dishwasher", or "tidy the bathroom", or "sweep the kitchen", or "vacuum the living room".

 

You know, I still do that, and ER is 17yo & EK is 13yo!! :D

[Ann@thebeach]

When you find out you could get rich! ;)

 

The "clean up" song from barney works here sometimes but not always...

Making it a game works here sometimes....

 

Most of the time he smiles a charming smile and runs off :rolleyes:

[melissel]

When you find out you could get rich! ;)

 

The "clean up" song from barney works here sometimes but not always...

Making it a game works here sometimes....

 

Most of the time he smiles a charming smile and runs off :rolleyes:

 

ROFL! I know, I almost posted that same exact thing.

 

I can't do the timer thing, because that practically sends my 5-year-old into panic attack mode. She can't handle any kind of "race"--it makes her terribly anxious. I wonder if it would still make her crazy if I took her aside and said it was really just for the little one? Hmm, that's something to think about! And the 10-second tidy used to work, but not anymore--she's hip to my tricks, LOL!

 

I think the counting/colors thing might work though, because it's new. Thanks!

 

What do you do if they flat out say no? Because that happens fairly often too, and I feel like I'm setting a bad precedent if I let her walk away from that. But I don't know what else to do besides bring her back bodily, kicking and screaming, and that feels wrong to me :( Darn it! My DD5 was not like this at 2! Every day is a new adventure with this kid, I swear :rolleyes:

 

Thanks everyone!

[Tonia]

What do you do if they flat out say no? Because that happens fairly often too, and I feel like I'm setting a bad precedent if I let her walk away from that. But I don't know what else to do besides bring her back bodily, kicking and screaming, and that feels wrong to me :(

 

Well, it may feel wrong to bring her back bodily, but she is being disobedient if you ask her to do something and she says no, so that behavior does need to be dealt with.

 

What about telling her that she cannot do ANYTHING else until her job is done. I would literally take things away from my dd and tell her, "Oh, I'm sorry, but your work isn't done, you can't do this until you finish your job." Basically, she could sit on the floor ;) but no toys, no books, no lunch, until her job was done.

 

Also, what kind of mess are we talking about? Is it a huge pile of toys or something? I find it best to keep things in bins and allow access to one thing at a time, otherwise we end up with a huge mess that is difficult to clean up.

 

HTH!

[Sue G in PA]

It's an obedience issue. My dd2 is extremely intelligent for her age (not bragging, just explaining!) and I KNOW she understand HOW to clean up and HOW to obey. It's a battle of the wills. We make clean up fun...don't get me wrong. I'm not a drill sargent. But, when she stands there with her hands on her hips and tells me "NO!", then it becomes a matter of willful disobedience. We spank (which might be unpopular) and do the time outs. Most of the time, she simply needs that time out w/ NOTHING to do, but if the willfullness continues, we spank. Also understand, we don't make our 2yo clean up nearly as much as the olders. She is given a specific task like put away your puzzles, or put the blocks in the box, or put your stuffed animals in the bin, etc. AND, she is supervised as she does it. THey'll learn if we are consistent and firm. Gentle, but firm!

[Karen in CO]

What do you do if they flat out say no? Because that happens fairly often too, and I feel like I'm setting a bad precedent if I let her walk away from that. But I don't know what else to do besides bring her back bodily, kicking and screaming, and that feels wrong to me :( Darn it! My DD5 was not like this at 2! Every day is a new adventure with this kid, I swear :rolleyes:

 

Thanks everyone!

We normally use the "Clean up" song from Barney and I put a BIG smile and we clean up. Sometimes, the little child that likes to assert herself refuses to join in. If I am good and centered, I will tell her "too bad, I am sorry you don't want to join us" and ask her to sit on the stairs out of the way. I then try to ignore her and her bad attitude and the rest of us make a big show of how happy we are to be working together. That usually gets her.

 

Now that she is older, when I hand out our check lists of work to do, I make one for her too. She has her own little jobs to do when we are cleaning and she isn't allowed to play until she is done. The way this works is that she either gets done quickly or she hides out in her room while I am cleaning then ask for help when I am done. Either way I count it as a win as long as her list is done and I got to do mine.

 

She just moved up to the big job of putting all the toys in the living and family rooms back into toy boxes. She feels proud when it is done. I try to remember that teaching her to participate in the cleaning is a loooooong term goal. I don't want to make it a battle of the wills.

 

Good luck.