swimmermom3 Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 If your school morning is grim and you need a good chuckle, please come visit me. That's right. Come in through the front door. You don't have to take your shoes off this time. In fact, it would probably be better if you kept them on. Unfortunately, you won't get too far into the house because you will be stunned and amazed at the vision in the kitchen before you. There stands a middle-aged woman in her black yoga pants, black tee and ancient pale blue bathrobe covered in what looks like gore from a terrible accident. That same awful mess drips from the ceiling, runs down the cabinets, stains the counters, and splatters the maple hardwoods. Be not alarmed. It is only Swimmermom3 who had the bright idea of sticking a metal spoon in the blender while making a pomegranate juice and mixed berry smoothie for her third day of "detox." Yes, she knows better.:tongue_smilie: It would have been okay if Swimmer Dude hadn't been in the kitchen with me while I was simultaneously fixing his eggs and the smoothie. He had been chattering non-stop about his new website, made for me, and only took a breath from his mind-bending discourse to look at me dripping in berries and say, "Uh Mom, I don't think this 'no coffee' thing is working for you." Coffee? Coffee, the boy says. The only thing that is going to redeem this morning is a Bloody Mary, but I don't think I could stand the sight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Oh, dear. Don't you know coffee is sacred? Detox all you want, but never, never, never give up the coffee. Poor swimmermom3 :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keniki Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Oh, dear. Don't you know coffee is sacred? Detox all you want, but never, never, never give up the coffee. Poor swimmermom3 :grouphug:. :iagree: :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 :lol:Oh my!:lol: Just think of all the exercise you will get while cleaning up the mess.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Caffeine is not a a toxin. It's a food group. Just sayin'... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Oh, dear. Don't you know coffee is sacred? Detox all you want, but never, never, never give up the coffee. Poor swimmermom3 :grouphug:. I have a friend who has homeschooled 5 children, run in 3 marathons, and done 2 Cycle Oregon rides. She has given up many things but never the 2:30pm cup of coffee with a dash of half and half. I think she is on to something, but then again it's her faul...I mean it was her inspiration that got me to home school in the first place.:tongue_smilie: :lol:Oh my!:lol: Just think of all the exercise you will get while cleaning up the mess.;) Did I mention that one of the upper cabinet doors was open at the time? The only thing that stuff missed was Swimmer Dude. Darn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Caffeine is not a a toxin. It's a food group. Just sayin'... Carol, you have often been the proverbial "font of wisdom" for me. I think I'll just go with "Carol in Cal says..." on this one.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Oh nooooo Lisa! I'm so sorry. I'm off coffee too if it's any consolation and I'm going bonkers. I don't know what to do with myself. I think Carol is right on the money. Definitely a food group. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thowell Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Swimmermom, totally off topic, but do you know how good of a writer you are? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Oh, dear. Don't you know coffee is sacred? Detox all you want, but never, never, never give up the coffee. Poor swimmermom3 :grouphug:. :iagree: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Amanda~ Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I was off of coffee. for 2 days. I said "screw this detox, I'm not cutting coffee out of my life, so why I am I putting myself through he77 with the 30-day detox of no coffee". MMMM, Bliss. Nectar of the gods, I say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saille Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Really, truly excellent post. And I did need that today. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt_Uhura Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 OH my Swimmermom, you really are a great writer! I was right there with you! I can't help w/ the coffee....it's not a drug I use regularly. I save it for those truly desperate times w/ toothpicks in my eyelids and I have to drive somewhere. I have a cup of tea or coffee and I get a buzz like you wouldn't believe. Good luck on your quest! Capt_Uhura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Oh gosh, you poor thing!!! I hope you had a big pot of coffee before attempting to clean up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LunaLee Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Ooohhh ya....I gave up coffee once. It wasn't pretty. Have you tried Teeceeno (sp?)? I used to get it at the natural food store. It's like a coffee replacement made of chicory root and some other stuff. Now I know what your thinking, but it's actually kind of good. Really. You should try it if you are serious about giving up the coffee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siloam Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 (((Hugs))) Wish we were neighbors so I could help you clean up the mess. Way to go on the detox. I had to give up caffeine because of a heart racing problem, but I still drink unleaded. It is a mental thing. :D Heather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeJM Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 L.O.L.!!!! So sorry to hear of your mess, and your struggle. I can't really drink coffee regularly b/c of the caffeine, so I don't do it very often, but WHEN I DO....! AAAAHHHHH!!! Oh, yeah baby. Mmmmmm. Nothing like a french press full of just-roasted Peet's Garuda Blend, I always say. Just smelling it is enough for me. Sometimes. Hey, maybe you have hit the wall and things are going to start to turn around for the better!! I'd like to think so, anyway!! Blessings! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Sorry bout that. I am sure that was meant for me. Stuff like that happens to me all. the. time. so I figure you got mine, somehow. Magic eraser will get almost all stains off anything. I have a huge stockpile. Honestly, my husband wouldn't even blink at a scene like that. He would call in late and help clean it up but he wouldn't be surprised. I drink lots of coffee... I wonder what I can blame? I hope your day got a lot of better and less pomegranate-y Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Oh, dear. Don't you know coffee is sacred? Detox all you want, but never, never, never give up the coffee. Poor swimmermom3 :grouphug:. oh dear...you gave up the coffee???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna in Texas Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 :lol: :grouphug: I hope you got in a good laugh before you cried. (I cry sometimes when I haven't had coffee.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MangoMama Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 :lol::lol: I love this! Thanks for the laugh! I've had a rough 3 days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiobrain Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Lisa... You helped put my own grim morning in perspective. Thank you, darling. :D (I am not sure if you are ready for the coffee detox.... ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 :lol::lol: I'd still come in. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 :lol: Switch to organic coffee, then you can justify it...right? :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anneofalamo Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I enjoyed your tour and your morning, and as I go to wake my children for our first day back to school....I will think of you and smile thru their grumpies, and I will of course be on my 2nd cauldron of coffee! coffee is made from beans? is that a protein or a vegetable? not to hijack this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 coffee is made from beans? is that a protein or a vegetable? not to hijack this thread Maybe we can have two cups and count it as one protein and one veggie :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomemom Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Swimmermom, totally off topic, but do you know how good of a writer you are? :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomemom Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 "Uh Mom, I don't think this 'no coffee' thing is working for you." Coffee? Coffee, the boy says. The only thing that is going to redeem this morning is a Bloody Mary, but I don't think I could stand the sight. A boy after my own heart. My own dss know they cannot REALLY have a conversation with me until I've had my coffee!! :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntPol Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Oh, dear. Don't you know coffee is sacred? Detox all you want, but never, never, never give up the coffee. Poor swimmermom3 :grouphug:. OH my -This is going to be my facebook status! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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