Can I get some feedback on my sixth grader's lit. paper?

[Old Dominion Heather]

My sixth grader wrote this paper after reading The Adventures of Robin Hood. He is a huge Lord of the Rings fan (the books, he has only seen the first movie, so the comparisons are book to book, not movie to book.

 

He did a two level outline before he wrote this. I'm going to try to leave all spelling/grammar/punctuation as is.

 

Character Similarities between Little John and Sam Gamgee

 

The characters of Sam Gamgee from The Lord of the Rings, and Little John from The Adventures of Robin Hood, have many similarities. The are both loyal and protective to their masters, they don't seek fame and fortune, and they are more cautious than their masters.

 

From the beginning it is easily seen that Sam and Little John both are loyal to their masters. Sam stayed loyal to Frodo as they journeyed to the Crack of Doom. Little John could have deserted Robin Hood at any time, but he remained loyal till Robin died.

 

Neither sought power, fame and fortune. Sam gave the Ring to Frodo willingly when he asked for it. Little John would have received power, fame and fortune from Prince John had he turned on Robin Hood, but he never did.

 

Sam and Little John are both more cautious than their masters. When Frodo rushes ahead and is captured, Sam waits and is able to rescue him. Little John doesn't rush into situations that Robin Hood does.

 

Both remained protective after the problem is solved. After the ring is destroyed, Sam still cares about Frodo and wants him to be happy. Little John remained wary of Prince John after Richard came home.

 

Frodo and Robin Hood were very lucky to have good sidekicks. Little John's and Sam's characters made their master's job easier and safer.

[amyco]

Wow...the content looks great. 6th grade? You can tell he's done some thinking about the books, especially LOTR. I'd ask for some more specific examples from Robin Hood, though. I noticed lots of strong verbs. I'd say well done. Hopefully my ds can write that well next year. :)

 

BTW, what writing program are you using?

[plimsoll]

I am apologize if you are seeking critical comments - I can only offer praise. This is very well written for a sixth grader.

[Old Dominion Heather]

Thanks, Amy. I will tell him that you think he needs more specifics from Robin Hood.

 

He doesn't use a writing program per se, though he has used writing strands in the past. I have required him to write summaries for his literature selections since third grade, and in fifth, we moved from summaries to more analysis, with lots of hand holding. He does use Rod and Staff for grammar and that includes writing instruction.

 

He writes lots of summaries for history, at least a notebook page a week on one topic, and about a half page to a page a week for science.

 

Around fourth grade he was really starting to balk at writing and I knew I would be in for a hard time later if he didn't get to the point where it was fairly effortless, so I dropped some other stuff, and started requiring much more writing.

 

Honestly, I think the thing that helped him the most was doing all the outlines and writing in Story of the World IV. That was more writing than he had ever seen before, but he did it, and it got him to the point that he could write about two notebook pages without despair:nopity:.

[Old Dominion Heather]

Thanks, David.

[8filltheheart]

The structure and content are excellent for a 6th grader. Bravo!

 

With my kids, I would go through and work on editing the grammar/punctuation mistakes while praising the skill of his argument.