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If your SIL invited the family (MIL, you and your children) to dinner and trick-or-treating on Halloween and she (SIL) considered this a family tradition, would you go (even though you don't want) or decline (thereby hurting SIL's feelings).

 

Reasons for declining -

SIL's neighborhood is highly decorated for Halloween. SIL puts a fake coffin in her yard. My youngest was frightened by a talking scarecrow on display at Lowes.

 

Last year, my children had had enough after after about a block. Nephew wanted to keep going. I ended up taking my children back to SIL's house. They happily played with their cousin's toys while he went about the neighborhood with his friends.

 

Last year I left more than half the candy my children collected at SIL. Most of the rest went to work with Daddy. My children are sensitive to red-dye and in general are not big candy eaters. This year I bought red-dye free lollipops and will get chocolates for my children to substitute for candies they may not eat. Even so, most will go to work with Daddy.

 

 

Reasons for going -

Although we live a few miles apart, my children do not see their cousin often. They do enjoy playing with him.

 

MIL will be at SIL's house. The children enjoy seeing her.

 

SIL expects us to attend.

 

Husband wants to go to SIL for dinner, then return home to hand out candy at our house. We are new to the neighborhood and he thinks he will meet more neighbors this way. He is indifferent to whether boys and I stay and trick-or-treat with SIL and her son or return home.

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As I was reading your post, I was thinking something along the lines of your DH's suggestion even before I got to the end. Go over early, see MIL and the kids will have a chance to play with their cousin. Then when it is time for T-or-T-ing, head home for your own family time.

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Husband wants to go to SIL for dinner, then return home to hand out candy at our house. We are new to the neighborhood and he thinks he will meet more neighbors this way. He is indifferent to whether boys and I stay and trick-or-treat with SIL and her son or return home.

 

Sounds like a good compromise to me.

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