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I gave up after 6 long months of agonizing and put my three oldest in ps at the beginning of Jan. I've had time to get everything organized (we moved in Dec.) and rest a little. I should have listened better to Joanne and found a workable homeschool plan than to rely on the ps a quick fix.

 

I'm now searching for ways to make hs work. Here's what I've come up with:

 

1. No curriculum hopping!!! The kids will not progress at a reasonable rate if I keep changing what they are using. If what we are using is working then LEAVE IT ALONE.

 

2. Make a plan of academic objectives for the year so when I get the "woe is me! I'm ruining them for life" I can see what we've accomplished.

 

3. Keep the phone off and stay off the computer until after the kids go to bed. 'Nuff said.

 

Now here's what I haven't figured out:

 

1. Dealing with a toddler and still be able to teach.

 

2. The CONSTANT BICKERING. The stress of this is what drove me to put them in in the first place.

 

3. Keeping a consistent school schedule. It's just way too easy to find other things to do besides school.

 

So what do you do to make your school work when you really want to quit?

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Hi Melissa - it seems like you have really done a lot of thinking about this! That is good. I think it is great that you have put into words - and writing - what you know you CAN do, as well as what you still need to figure out.

 

First, schooling with is toddler is HARD work. Very hard! And I say that, with only 2 dc! I know you'll receive lots of hints about this. We used to have a little box of "schooltime only" toys for our ds to play with - the box only came out during the time that I was teaching our dd. That worked well for us, but again, I know you'll get lots more hints on this!

 

The bickering is also difficult. If I were in your shoes, I would do my best to concentrate on this right away - even before you begin hsing again, if possible. You may try to separate your dc the minute they start to bicker - if they are not together, they cannot bicker! Try requiring them to earn the right to be together. Now, during school time, I realize that this makes your job much more difficult - trying to teach dc in different rooms of the house. But, and this ties in with your third point about focusing primarily on school when there are so many other things that are more fun - hsing is your job. It is not always going to be easy - it isn't supposed to be easy! - and I think the character-training lessons are among the most difficult. However, it is these lessons that will benefit your dc and your entire family the very most.

 

Truly, the best advice I have received has been to look at hsing as a job, even a career - and to consider myself a full-time teacher. So, I don't pick up the phone or become distracted by the computer during school times. During school, I teach. Or, I read in the schoolroom, so that our dc know that I am available for questions. That way, my dc know they can count on me to be there for them - and I have found that when I am not distracted, they are less likely to become distracted as well. My dh was the one that gave me this advice when we started hsing 8 years ago - and it has just been so helpful.

 

I hope some of this helps! I will be praying for you.

 

Deb

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Disclaimer--I only homeschooled for one year, but we didn't stop homeschooling because it wasn't working but because we wanted to take advantage of our great local school.

 

I homeschooled a 2nd grader while caring for 4 yo twins and taking over a new business (an inn) which my husband and I ran without any other employees.

 

It was crazy, but one of the things that helped me was to get the hardest/most tempting to let slide subject done first thing in the morning. For us, that was math. It was a great comfort to me to know that no matter what chaos the rest of the day brought, we had math done. On even the craziest days, my son had a math lesson and spent lots of time reading. We could read SOTW and the scientific encyclopedia later in the day when my energy was low, and I felt like I was making progress on all fronts.

 

Another thing that helped was to pick realistic curriculum and set realistic expectations. We read SOTW and checked out supplemental books, but I didn't even try to do any activities. Bad mom. But I knew my limits.

 

As for the toddler/bickering issue, I highly recommend setting up a schedule ala Managers of the Home. I did this for the summer and it worked great. The older kids all had time to play in pairs, as a group, and with the toddler. Time inside and out. Time reading. Time summer schooling. It kept the toddler occupied so I could work, and by switching activities every half hour, the kids didn't get bored enough to fight.

 

You can do this!

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So what do you do to make your school work when you really want to quit?

 

I highly recommend getting a hold of the book, "Parenting with Love & Logic". It is a treasure trove of common sense ways in which to get the kids to behave without making you a crazy lady or a drill sergeant. It is most likely available at your local public library, or on eBay or Half.com, or Amazon. Our school district offers Love & Logic classes for parents, too, believe it or not.

 

I don't know what the ages of your kids are, or how many you have, so I am at a bit of a disadvantage in terms of giving advice with homeschooling.

 

Even though my kids are older (5 of them, ages 8 to 17), the younger ones still do fall into the habit of bickering. I have various ways of helping them realize it's not worth it, but I know I'll be training them until they leave the nest. I will not allow them to make the tone of our home that of tension and strife. I also won't allow them to be my excuse for being a crabby mom... after all, who's the grown up? I would not even attempt to homeschool if my kids, for the most part, weren't fairly complaint and obedient to me.

 

Do not compare yourself to others, or your kids to others. You decide the goals you have for your children, and don't worry about what other hsing kids do or don't do, academically. In the long run, what you want are kids who can think logically, communicate well, and succeed in life. "Success" looks different to different people, and sometimes those we admire have the most miserable lives.

 

Hang in there momma.

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I gave up after 6 long months of agonizing and put my three oldest in ps at the beginning of Jan. I've had time to get everything organized (we moved in Dec.) and rest a little. I should have listened better to Joanne and found a workable homeschool plan than to rely on the ps a quick fix.

 

I'm now searching for ways to make hs work. Here's what I've come up with:

 

1. No curriculum hopping!!! The kids will not progress at a reasonable rate if I keep changing what they are using. If what we are using is working then LEAVE IT ALONE.

 

2. Make a plan of academic objectives for the year so when I get the "woe is me! I'm ruining them for life" I can see what we've accomplished.

 

3. Keep the phone off and stay off the computer until after the kids go to bed. 'Nuff said.

 

Now here's what I haven't figured out:

 

1. Dealing with a toddler and still be able to teach.

 

2. The CONSTANT BICKERING. The stress of this is what drove me to put them in in the first place.

 

3. Keeping a consistent school schedule. It's just way too easy to find other things to do besides school.

 

So what do you do to make your school work when you really want to quit?

 

I find that if I do #3 on your "haven't figured out list", #2 diminishes and #1 is easier.

 

I've always schooled with a toddler. It's hard. The good news is that each day will get a tiny bit easier as they grow :).

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my least favorite thing is when they bicker and then they try to involve me to solve their problems.

 

We started to see some real progress when we stepped back and focused on coaching the kids on how to communicate with each other rather than focusing on how to resolve the current argument.

 

For example,

 

"Mom she took my toy!"

 

And did you tell her that?

 

"No"

 

What do you think you can say to let her know that you feel badly about her taking your toy?

 

"I don't know"

 

Can you tell her, "when you took my toy I felt bad?'

 

"Yup"

 

Ok, why don't you go ahead and see if that helps.

 

Stuff like that. The younger the kids are the more detailed your coaching is, but the basics are that I don't let the kids put me in the middle of their argument. I'm amazed at their solutions. They're usually better thought out than the one I think would work.

 

After a week of coaching it gets easier and the kids realize that they have to work together. My oldest dd 8 can see trouble coming now and we've overheard her working to avoid a confrontation with her sibs.

 

They still have their arguments, but they're getting better at resolving them, by themselves. A good skill to practice--one I wish I would have had more practice with.

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