encouraging moms of upcoming 9th graders

[Julie in MO]

Hi all,

I am hosting a get-together tomorrow evening for moms of upcoming 9th graders. The purpose is to pray together, encourage one another, share information that we've gleaned, and perhaps see how we might help each other.

 

What would you say to encourage such a group? What encouraged you in this high school journey, or what would have encouraged you in retrospect? What advice would you share?

 

Thanks in advance. This is a nice group of ladies and I look forward to the fellowship.

 

Blessings,

Julie

[sadiegirl]

what time are you thinking about? I have one going into 9th and I'm a little overwhelmed after reading various posts on this board. I feel like I did as a newcomer into homeschooling with kids only going into Pre-K and K...totally incapable of doing it! I need the encouragement and advice for sure!

[Julie in MO]

I do try to glean as much as I can from this board. It also helped to watch Lee Binz DVD on Preparing to Home School High School. The meeting I'm hosting is at 7 pm tomorrow evening (if you or anyone else is near Columbia, MO). I still feel like I'm on a big learning curve and there are so few who home school through high school here.

 

What do you think about starting a WTM group of upcoming high schooler moms to share our thoughts/prayers/encouragement on-line? Maybe set it up as a "reply to all" e-mail kind of loop? Just thinking....

 

Blessings,

Julie

[stephanier.1765]

What encouraged me were the success stories and not just those in general but kids I knew or at least families that I knew of. To know that colleges really do accept homeschool kids because it's one thing to know it in theory but it's another to know those children who actually made it and HOW they made it. I can't tell you how much better it made me feel to know it was doable.

[JennW in SoCal]

I would tell them that 9th grade is probably the hardest of the high school years. It is hardest partly because of how nervous we moms are as we're all worried about not screwing up. It is also hardest because 14year olds are not the easiest people to live with and guide.

 

I say this not to cause more panic and dread, but to offer a bigger perspective of high school. There isn't some sudden leap between 8th and 9th -- the only difference is that there is now a record of academic activity to show on a transcript. We freak out because somehow it now "counts", but in reality it is still just learning, still just moving ahead slowly but steadily. Don't raise the bar too high too fast, just keep raising it steadily. If they hit a plateau and don't seem to be progressing, take a deep breath, maybe just read aloud for a few weeks, and start up again. Sometimes their minds just need to shut down while their bodies are busy growing.

 

Our kids grow into becoming high school students. They mature into intersting young adults who have plans for their future, who have opinions of their own, who want to test their wings while they still have the safety net of mom and home. A 17yo is quite a different creature from a 14yo. In those years they learn to cook, drive, write a decent essay, learn to take responsibility for their choices. The young adult you graduate is your reward for all these years of homeschooling -- and it is a terrific reward.

 

One piece of advice is to find something outside the home for your teen. Whether it is volunteer work, an internship, an outside class or a job, having another adult to answer to, and whose opinion matters, is really important for teens. Not only will your teen work harder for these other adults, you get the gift of seeing your teen through a fresh set of eyes. Just when you are ready to send them off to military boarding school, another adult will say the most glowing things about your teen, giving you a chance to rediscover how wonderful that teen really is.

[Nan in Mass]

I agree. Find a way to keep track easily of what you do. Concentrate on academic skills and give the child lots of say about the content. Think about who you want the child to be as an adult and work backwards from there. Remember to keep asking the child, "What do you want to learn? How do you want to learn it? Is this working? Are you learning? How do you think we could do this better?" Make sure the child's world grows bigger as the child grows bigger. Don't let fear for their safety stop you from letting them take healthy risks. Take a look at some of the skills their public schooled friends have: how good they are at finding information on the internet, how much time they spend on math, what sorts of discussions they have in English, what sorts of opportunities they have at school, like drama and debate and chess club. Try to provide an equal (even if it is different) richness in your child's life and make sure that your preferences aren't going to handicap him in the future. It is easy to concentrate on history and ignore science if you are a history buff. That is ok if your child is a history buff, too, but if he isn't, you need to think about outsourcing. Put the bulk of your resources and your time into the areas your child is most interested in. Make sure you work hard at math and writing. Don't forget to let them grow up, but don't hesitate to offer lots of help, either, especially when it comes to transitions. It is ok to hold an 18yo's hand as they take their first steps in college. Think outside the box. You stepped out when you chose to homeschool, now take advantage of that. Try to find ways for them to do real things, like help make their world a better place. Don't forget to provide them with training in whatever they use as an emotional outlet, whether it is art or music or sports or fixing things. Enjoy them.

-Nan

[bugs]

Having gleaned sooooo much from these boards (a million thank yous!) has been encouraging. Knowing there are so many choices for curriculum is encouraging. But for me, I know "what I don't know" and what I know. My child on the other hand really doesn't "know what she doesn't know". Therefore, no matter how bright she may or may not be I always will know a little more than her at least a week ahead of her. :lol: Hope that makes sense :D.

Edited July 28, 2010 by bugs
grammar!

[Nan in Mass]

"I know "what I don't know" and what I know. My child on the other hand really doesn't "know what she doesn't know"."

 

What a great explanation of why *I* have the final say about school.

-Nan

[Julie in MO]

keep it coming! I'll print it all out and share with others.

Blessings,

Julie

[Brigid in NC]

Having crossed the high school "end line" a year ago, what I would tell them is that they really can do it, and it really will be worth it. The education and life that they are blessing their children with is something that the moms and kids will cherish forever.

 

I would also say that I believe that this is a great time for a home schooler to be a prospective college student. Our impression was that home schooling was an asset. It set my ds apart, and provided him with a valuable opportunity to be noticed among the masses of other students who are scrambling for that.

 

So a solid course of study, along with the many opportunities to pursue interests that most ps kids have little time for, leads to a rich life and a well prepared college applicant.

 

Hugs to all the moms of 9th graders out there. It's so daunting, but so doable! :001_smile:

[AnitaMS]

I would tell them that 9th grade is probably the hardest of the high school years. It is hardest partly because of how nervous we moms are as we're all worried about not screwing up. It is also hardest because 14year olds are not the easiest people to live with and guide.

 

 

I agree! Also because the work expected in 9th grade is significantly more than previous years (at least in our homeschool).

 

We had 1000 talks about "responsibility" with each of our older children when they were in 9th grade. They got so sick of the word! We tied taking on more responsibility in schoolwork with more privileges.

 

Now my 3rd is coming into 9th grade. Here we go again!

 

The encouragement is that yes, this too will pass!

[Brindee]

My youngest is heading to 9th grade next year. I can't believe we've come to this point!

 

One word is good: Relax! That just means that yes it can be done, yes there will be problems, yes they can be overcome, and yes it's all VERY worth it!

 

The Well Trained Mind Forums are WONDERFUL for support, advice and quick help when someone is in Panic mode! :) If there is confusion about what curriculum to use, come here and ask a question about it.

 

If someone does not yet know their child's learning style, it helps to figure that out and get curriculum that will enhance that child's learning because it's "how they roll!"

 

Once you choose a curriculum DON'T SECOND-GUESS your decision! That can cause unneeded worry and stress! Go forward with your choice strongly and confidently, as if there wasn't another curriculum to choose from!

 

Don't panic when you hit bumps in the road. There WILL be bumps, some bumpier than others. However, you CAN get past those and be fine!

 

I agree with the posters who said to amp up the work slowly. You don't HAVE to jump in with everything all at once, unless the child WANTS to! Start in a week or two with two subjects to get used to the workload required and how to work with them. Then add another subject or two. Sokmetimes easing into it makes it an easier transition. There IS more work in highschool, but they're older now, and can do it if they put their mind to it.

 

You probably won't be able to make every high school class fun. It just usually doesn't happen that way, and it's different for every student. It seems to work out best for the child to do their least favorite subject first or second in the day. That way it's overwith and they don't have to dread it all day!

 

Teenagers "rythyms" often have them wanting to stay up late and get up late. I don't force my younger teens to get up early. Doing that produces grumpiness, problems, and they won't retain what they're learning as well. Go with the flow--to a certain extent. If they get their schoolwork done each day, does it matter if they start at 7am or 11am? That's one of the benefits of homeschooling--sleeping in so they get the sleep they need, then they're fresher and get through their work faster and easier with more understanding. At least that's the way it worked with my boys. We'll see how dd does! :)

 

I also agree about letting some of the credits come from following their interests. They'll do well that way and will enjoy it a lot more!

 

Don't be stuck to doing every page/assignment. Some may not "connect" and are not worth forcing them to do. Do something else that interests them more that will accomplish the same goal. Don't be afraid to be creative! Give credit for a book your child's reading that happenes to go along with the history being done. Find practical ways to use or explain the maths. Encourage their interests!

 

Volunteering and internships are GREAT experiences and potential colleges like seeing kids that are active in their community, and making positive choices! If your child wants to be a Vet, let them volunteer at the local Humane Society or something like it that works with animals. Interested in nursing or medical career--volunteer at the hospitals or retirement homes. Law or political job--work for a congressman, etc. But general community volunteer work is good too.

 

Enjoy the experience with your child. Encourage them as much as possible! Once they get the hang of high school stuff, once it's not a "new" experience anymore, it will be easier and you all can concentrate on the curriculum stuff.

 

Best wishes!

[Miss Marple]

My last son is my upcoming 9th grader! Wow! I often find myself wondering how we made it this far. It's a looping roller coaster ride and I usually feel like I'm hanging on by my fingertips and my body is flailing outside the car. But I'm there...and the boys know and appreciate that.

 

For moms encountering this high school thing for the first time, I would suggest they:

 

1. get themselves organized if they already haven't. That organization time will be well rewarded when one goes to develop the transcript/portfolio as the student applies for college and scholarships.

 

2. get the kids involved in outside activities (music, art, sports, scouts, science camp, etc.) that they show an interest in. This will help them develop an idea of what they might enjoy doing as a career. In addition, it really seemed to help my oldest transition to the "real world".

 

3. Volunteer! Not only is it almost essential for scholarships, it opens the eyes of our kids to areas of life from which we might have inadvertently sheltered them. Short mission trips, inter-city VBS, local food pantries are all places where our kids can serve and, in turn, gain insight.

 

4. Research! Know where your students strengths and weaknesses are and teach to that. That's the beauty of homeschooling - we can tailor our schooling to the individual student.

 

5. Don't be afraid of the standardized test. Don't let your student scare you by saying they are "stressed". If the student is college bound, they NEED practice in order to compete. I see too many parents cave in to their students over this. "Johnny just gets so stressed with testing so we don't do it. I really do know where he's at academically so we don't need to do it." Unfortunately if college bound, Johnny will be testing, testing, and testing. So use the time to get him over the "stress" and learn to deal with it. College admissions and scholarships are heavily influenced by the results of standardized tests. The more one practices, the better one becomes.

 

6. Above all, enjoy your time with these kids. Sometimes after a long, arduous day of schooling we just want them to disappear. Try to spend *fun* time with them as well as school time. Do things they like to do (bicycle, racquetball, board games, etc). These will be the times they remember later.

[Julie in MO]

I'll share it all tonight!

Blessings,

Julie

[Teachin'Mine]

Looking forward to hearing all about it! Inquiring minds of about to be moms of 9th graders want to know. :D

Edited July 29, 2010 by Teachin'Mine

[Julie in MO]

Hi ladies,

I shared all your lovely comments/advice/encouragement with a group of 11 lovely ladies. We had a wonderful evening...laughed...cried....talked....ate....

 

I will copy the information sheet I handed out (very low-key):

Helpful on-line resources

*MO state requirements for graduation: http://dese.mo.gov/divimprove/sia/Graduation_Handbook_2010.pdf

*HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association) has several articles pertaining to home schooling high school: http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1

*Lee Binz has a mentoring service designed to help people home school through high school – she charges for her one-on-one services but has many free articles on her website and in her free e-mail newsletter: http://www.thehomescholar.com/

*Donna Young’s website has many free forms, schedules, and articles pertaining to home schooling high school: http://donnayoung.org/forms/high-school.htm

*College Board’s website explains college testing, AP, and CLEP: http://www.collegeboard.com/

*Free SAT/ACT prep service on-line: http://www.number2.com/

*on-line coursework available through many sources: Home2teach, Potter’s School, PA homeschoolers on-line, K-12….

Updated notes from our meeting!

***Here’s the link to MU’s on-line high school: http://cdis.missouri.edu/high-school-subject-courselist.aspx

I haven’t perused it fully yet, but it appears to be the same entity as CDIS (Center for Distance and Independent Studies). I will call the admissions counselor and try to get a time set up for us all to visit.

***For those who want to compare math programs, refer to this article by Lee Binz: http://www.thehomescholar.com/love-of-math.php

***Search engine to find scholarships: http://www.fastweb.com/

***career explorations from crown.org: http://www.crown.org/pamphlets/pdfs/CCRFlyer2001.pdf

This service does not appear to be free.

 

Here's something interesting we learned tonight...some scholarships require that you graduate from an accredited school (even if you have a high ACT score). One of the moms who came tonight said that her son qualified for some very large scholarships but couldn't apply because of home schooling. She has since learned that if her son had taken as few as 2.5 credits from the University of Missouri's on-line high school (aka CDIS or Center for Distance and Independent Studies), her student could have transferred the rest of the high school work done at home to MU and could have received a transcript from MU's high school. which is accredited. I will be making an appointment with the admissions counselor next week and the moms who attended the meeting are planning to go with me to ask questions about this option. This might only affect MO residents...but if other people have run into the problem of not getting scholarships without graduation from an accredited institution, this might be an option. I'll post what I find out.

Blessings,

Julie