x-post: calling families with experience having kids in private school

[Halftime Hope]

I need to hear your experiences. What would you want someone considering private school for a high schooler to know?

 

I have homeschooled three kids all the way through, with a fair amount of outsourcing, expecially in the high school years.

 

I am down to one student, a social butterfly, who will be the only student at home this year. When asked this year if he would like to go to private school, he said no, that he liked homeschooling, but I'm betting that next year he might consider it. I'm afraid that this year will be very lonely for him. He would be going in as a junior.

 

What should we know before I think about this further? Thanks!!

 

P.S. Those who know me IRL: I'm not ready to broach this with my student yet, so keeping this between us, for now, would help. Thanks!

Edited July 28, 2010 by Valerie(TX)

[Laura Corin]

Calvin is going to school in August, so this is all theory so far. What we looked for:

 

- a friendly school, both staff and pupils. We did a lot of asking around and spent several days touring the school/going to open days/talking to pupils. Calvin also started taking guitar lessons here, so I got to hang out in the corridors whilst I waited for him, picking up the atmosphere. He then did a taster day in the school.

 

- an attitude to discipline which fit with our style, as well as a documented intolerance of bullying.

 

- academic excellence, with good support for both extension and difficulties. We checked their exam record, as well as the kind of universities that pupils went on to attend.

 

- an international flavour, not parochial.

 

- a good range of the kinds of activities that Calvin might be interested in, as well as others that he might surprise us by liking. The school has good art, music and drama activities, as well as debate, chess etc. Their sports offering is not bad, with a concentration on golf.

 

- low staff turnover and good external reviews (government inspection plus commercial school guide reports)

 

I'm sure there are more things, but these were some of the important ones.

 

Laura

[Teachin'Mine]

I would add to Laura's list to check for a high percentage of students transferring out. You may not see this so much in high school since the families are more apt to stick with the school, good or bad, to get their diploma, but it's very telling in lower grades.

 

Talk with families whose children attend the school you're considering. Find out if behavior guidelines are just for show, or are truly enforced. For high school, I'd want to know the percent graduating, the percent going to college, etc.. If your son has specific interests, I'd ask about those clubs or activities specifically. I'd visit the school a few times during the year to get a feel for the student population, general behavior, and whether or not they seem happy. Class changing times is more telling than looking in on a class IMO.

 

Ask the school for their course offerings and make sure that they meet your needs. What's available if he needs extra help, or if he needs to be challenged more? What is expected from parents? Are many of the parents actively involved in the school? Does the school administration listen to parents or do they feel that the kids are "theirs"? If you can, try to go to a PTA type meeting and listen to what the parents' concerns are. You'll hear the good, the bad and the ugly. :lol: Are the students given textbooks, or are they cutting costs and forgoing them? (I know many hs without texts, but in schools it's usually not done because they have come up with a better lesson plan using real books, it's because they want to save money and are making copies of stuff. Then the students are left with little to reference when doing assignments.) Are the students using laptops?

 

As you think of questions to ask them, write them down and make sure you get them answered satisfactorily over the year you're deciding.

[Andrew Kern]

We've both home schooled and private schooled all five of our children and I would put home schooling over even the best private schools for a number of reasons:

 

1. Teens should not spend so much time together in such large groups.

2. A divided authority arises that children can easily play off each other - and if they don't it can still confuse them

3. You can put your kids in all sorts of classes even if you home school

4. Being in school destroys the family rhythm and wastes a huge amount of time

5. I like having my children around.

6. Good teachers come and go in schools

 

I don't know if this is helpful, and I do recognize that decisions like this require personal judgment, but these are things that come to mind for me.

 

God bless and guide you,

 

ajk

[gingersmom]

My daughter spent time in public and private school before homeschooling.

 

What I looked for in a private high school is no different what I looked for in a public high school.

 

What colleges did the students get into?

What extra curricular activities are there?

What degrees do the teachers have?

 

I found a private school that I liked a lot. I met parents and students and teachers. My daughter spent the day there. We paid our $24,000 tuition.

 

I had her English teacher tell me he was too busy to meet with me afterschool because he had to coach the lacrosse team.

 

My daughter was bullied in math class and despite my calling the teacher and my daughters advisor nothing was done and the verbal assault continued all year.

 

I would send my daughter in early to discuss before class math issues she had with the teacher. He would basically blow her off.

 

There were a ton (way more than I thought normal) of children of teachers attending the school. Favoritism was rampant.

 

There were more cliques than public school.

 

Homeschool is the only high school for us.

[Teachin'Mine]

We left a private school to home school. :)

[FlockOfSillies]

Valerie, you're much further along this path than I am. A quick question, or two or three: how have you handled his social needs in the past? Have you been able to find activities for him that meet that need? Are there fewer of those opportunities available now that he is older? If it's really just a social thing, then maybe you can take whatever you were going to spend on private school and use it to meet his social needs in other ways. You'd probably have a huge chunk of change left over, LOL.

[eumyang]

I found a private school that I liked a lot. I met parents and students and teachers. My daughter spent the day there. We paid our $24,000 tuition.

(Emphasis mine.) I don't have children at all, but I do teach at a private school. At certain periods of the year I see a lot of prospective students shadow at my school, so that's something that the OP should have her DS do if considering private schools.

 

 

69

[mathmom]

We left a private school to home school. :)

 

Same here. DS was in a very competitive (30% of the senior class earned National Merit Finalist status) private school. While I was impressed with the things he did, the overall philosophies of competition and status were not in keeping with our values. DS could compete academically, but he was often frustrated with his social interactions with peers that he found to be shallow and with teachers that were always questioning why he was not more like the other kids.

 

It would be unfair to judge all private schools by our experience, though.