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Lori D.
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Lori D.

Lori D.

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I will be off line for awhile, as I need to focus on preparing for our school year.

 

I would also greatly appreciate prayer for our family as DH and I deal with an unexpected, on-going serious situation/choices of one DS which just came to light. Thank you so much. Lori D.

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Brindee

Brindee

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We'll certainly miss you while you're gone! Thanks so much for your advice and for sharing the knowledge and experience you have with us!

 

I will be praying for you and your family as you prepare for school and as you deal with the family situation! God bless!

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Nan in Mass

Nan in Mass

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Hugs, Lori. Lots of hugs.

We have had our share of coming to light moments, too. They are inevitably earthshaking and heartbreaking. I think the trick is to try to make sure that in what follows the revelation, nothing happens that will make it so that when things straighten out and calm down again, somebody can't be part of the family again. Sometimes these things go better if you preserve the illusion of a happy family on the surface, even if it is in turmoil underneath, or at any rate, try to confine the extent of the turmoil and try to keep pieces that are fine and loving. It may feel like whatever has come to light spoils everything, but if you can keep it from actually doing so on the surface, when things straighten out, in days or months or years, there will be a chance of all being a happy family again. People tend to do better at changing themselves if they feel that when they do, everything will be all right again. I feel like I am saying this badly. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is too easy to declare that nothing will ever be the same again and that once trust is broken it is permanant and other things along those lines, but that if you do, more than just the trust gets broken - the family gets broken, too. It is possible still to be a family and still to have happy times and yet live with various problems. Most people with teenagers and twenty-something-s do this for quite some years. Very little is really the end of the world. While there is communication about ordinary things, like the return of the robins and the number of mosquitoes this year, and love, even if it is rather one-sided, there is hope.

-Nan

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Halftime Hope

Halftime Hope

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This is exactly what I was trying to communicate to dh last Sunday afternoon. You put it so beautifully.

 

Deep, heartfelt thank yous!

 

Hugs, Lori. Lots of hugs.

We have had our share of coming to light moments, too. They are inevitably earthshaking and heartbreaking. I think the trick is to try to make sure that in what follows the revelation, nothing happens that will make it so that when things straighten out and calm down again, somebody can't be part of the family again. Sometimes these things go better if you preserve the illusion of a happy family on the surface, even if it is in turmoil underneath, or at any rate, try to confine the extent of the turmoil and try to keep pieces that are fine and loving. It may feel like whatever has come to light spoils everything, but if you can keep it from actually doing so on the surface, when things straighten out, in days or months or years, there will be a chance of all being a happy family again. People tend to do better at changing themselves if they feel that when they do, everything will be all right again. I feel like I am saying this badly. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is too easy to declare that nothing will ever be the same again and that once trust is broken it is permanant and other things along those lines, but that if you do, more than just the trust gets broken - the family gets broken, too. It is possible still to be a family and still to have happy times and yet live with various problems. Most people with teenagers and twenty-something-s do this for quite some years. Very little is really the end of the world. While there is communication about ordinary things, like the return of the robins and the number of mosquitoes this year, and love, even if it is rather one-sided, there is hope.

-Nan

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LatinTea

LatinTea

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Don't worry about replying to my pm last night. You certainly gave me much to think about and I am so glad you sent me those wonderful lists before pulling the plug. And I am now even happier about the search feature of this forum. Your name always seems to come up in my searches. ;)

 

If you do indeed get this....I'm praying for you too. The hard decisions never seem to slow down when they get older; they just seem to get tougher! :grouphug:

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Lori D.

Lori D.

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Dearest ladies,

I just popped in to reply to a last private message and found all of your responses. I am overwhelmed by your love, encouragement, prayers and best wishes. Thanks for the words about hope Nan -- thankfully, we are not hopeless. We definitely know we are being cared by your loving prayers. See you in a few months. With much love and gratitude, Lori

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