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NSO at U of DE & 63 days until move in day


Blue Hen
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We had our NSO today at U of DE. I felt like it was a waste of a day to me. Sure there was lots of excellent information but I had already read what they told us online over the last year. I sat there and decided that maybe, if I wasn't soooooo involved with my child's college search and high school education then the information would be new to me. But it wasn't new. At least not for me.

 

The day began with a very short welcome by the "Blue Hen Ambassadors." (((Undergrad, very excited-to-be-there, students, who after the very short introduction took all the students away. We met our student again at lunch and at the end of the day. [DS had a grand time which is how it should be. He is so ready to head off to college. His advisor requested DS take the next higher Calc entrance exam so DS was really thrilled by that news. He learns his class schedule and who his roommate is in early August.]

 

Late in the afternoon the Dean of Counseling ( ? I think that was his title) spoke about transitions. As he spoke I glanced around and spotted several moms wiping their eyes but this time I wasn't one of them. 63 days until move in day ....I know it is going to roll by very quickly.

 

Carole

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Late in the afternoon the Dean of Counseling ( ? I think that was his title) spoke about transitions. As he spoke I glanced around and spotted several moms wiping their eyes but this time I wasn't one of them. 63 days until move in day ....I know it is going to roll by very quickly.

 

 

 

We had one of these sessions at ds' orientation as well. In fact, it was our first session. I was sorely disappointed to hear the counselor preparing parents for their child's separation behavior. She told us to expect ungrateful kids, kids that were embarrassed to be with us, were rude and sassy and would no longer want our advice. :001_huh: I wanted to stand up and say, "It doesn't have to be that way!" I was so, so grateful for the years we've had with ds and the relationship that we've developed, largely due to educating at home.

 

Lisa

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Lisa,

 

Thankfully our session wasn't like that at all. This guy spoke about how parents must 'let go and step out of the role of directing their child's education'. That in the fall it is the time to encourage the child to make decisions on his own, to seek out his advisor about which classes to take or to go to the professor when he has questions about the course content. He spoke about the new role we should move into of being there for our child as a supporter rather than as a director. There were funny stories that went along with the points he made.

 

The closest he came to what you heard is when he shared that the kids would be wanting us to leave on check-in day while we will want to stick around, make sure things are going smoothly. I can see my DS being that way but also then calling me the following day to share how things are going.

 

C

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the kids would be wanting us to leave on check-in day while we will want to stick around, make sure things are going smoothly. I can see my DS being that way but also then calling me the following day to share how things are going.

 

C

 

 

I think that's about the best we can hope for. Not that I'm an expert, since just last August I was the one dropping off my firstborn. ;) She was ready for me to leave, and I was ready to linger and "help", but I knew in my heart that it was time to make a graceful exit.

 

The good news is that she calls and/or texts me pretty frequently to share about her classes and other miscellaneous news.

 

You know, my mom once told me that it was a mother's job to eventually make herself unneeded. And in a sense, she was right. I did get to the point where I could function just fine on my own, and the more she let go, the more I wanted to call her and talk things through with her. I still do!

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We skipped a couple of the big sessions of basic info at our orientation (different college) in favor of sightseeing with my mom and my other two guys. Granted, the info in them could have been good, but I doubt it was anything we didn't already know. Like you, we've done a bit of research and have some experience already from our own college days.

 

We did go to sessions that sounded (and were) good. Those were on financial aid (exactly what do we do now and reassurance that college given aid is renewable all 4 years), career services (REALLY interesting info on specifically what the college does to assist students and graduates, including a new program that will be giving seed money to entrepreneurs to start businesses) and residential life (great info about dorm living - a big thing at son's school).

 

I'm glad we did the mix of sightseeing and attending. I believe we're at 58 days till drop off day. I'm happy and bummed at the same time.

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You know, my mom once told me that it was a mother's job to eventually make herself unneeded.

 

:iagree:

 

Since our kids were in diapers my DH and I have reminded each other that that is our role---get the child to the point of being self-sufficient, being able to make decisions on their own, to accept responsibility for those decisions and to work ourselves out of the job of being needed. Of course in the process we work ourselves into a new job or role with our kids too.

 

Carole

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Blue Hen, did your ds attend one of the UD Discover Days last summer? I am wondering if it would be worthwhile for my ds. He is very familiar with the campus from activities over the years (school events, Geography Bee, attending and now working at one of the academic camps---and living within walking distance!) and we went through the "regular" visit last summer. However, it seems there is so much more happening during a Discovery Day with the information fair at The Bob plus the afternoon sessions.

 

Thanks :)

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We were advised by the Dean of Engineering to skip the Discovery Day if we were familiar with the campus but to attend a Blue & Gold Day in the fall instead. During the B&G day you visit a specific department, of your choice. From your son's experience--working at one of the academic camps---I'd skip all of them. It is really geared for the person who doesn't know the campus, hasn't been in a dorm room and wants an overview. If your DS knows his major, call and request he sit-in on a class or two. My ds did that and he wishes we had skipped all the other 'Day' events.

 

Carole

 

ps--Are you going to join Tri-State?

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