Testing/assessment questions (long!)

[kokotg]

My oldest son, 6 1/2, has an assortment of issues, some of them probably having to do with giftedness, and some of them probably not. We've thought for awhile that some sort of evaluation or testing might be helpful in figuring out where to go next with him, but I'm not sure what/who exactly he needs. Basically, I'd like an all purpose "What's going on with Ari?" sort of assessment, someone who will sit down with us and talk to us about what he needs, whether he'd benefit from some kind of therapy, if there's anything we should be doing academically and/or socially that we're not already....and, while we're at it (but maybe it needs to be a separate thing) I'd like to have an IQ test for our records as there are some programs we might want to take advantage of in the future (if he qualifies that is) that require them.

 

A quick (or as quick as I can!) rundown:

 

He's extremely shy--to the point where it's a major, major event for him if he says a single word to someone outside of close friends and family. He's been in the same sunday school class for a year and a half now, and just in the past few weeks has he started reading out loud in there and occasionally saying "hello" to his teachers. This is a BIG deal for him; he's very proud of himself for working up the courage to talk at all. We suspect we could get a selective mutism diagnosis if we sought one. He has a hearing loss in one ear that was diagnosed when he was five; he's had a hearing aid for just over a year, and that's helped a lot; it had gotten to the point before that where he had trouble talking even to extended family whom he sees regularly.

 

He has trouble socially. I'm not sure how much this has to do with the hearing/anxiety stuff and how much is something else. He has friends with whom he plays really well, but other kids he just can't seem to get along with. He misjudges their motives--thinks they're being "rude" or "mean" when they're just playing around. He can't seem to distinguish between real aggression and play fighting, I've noticed. And it's very frustrating for me to try to help him make friends, because he'll never strike up a friendship in a group situation; it always has to be one on one. He also recruits his very sociable 4 year old brother to join him in being angry at other kids for some imagined slight, and I hate to see Milo miss out on making friends because he feels like he has to along with his big brother.

 

And then we have the usual stuff with perfectionism, hyper-emotionalism, not wanting to try anything that doesn't come easily to him, etc. etc.

 

Maybe I should be posting all of this in the special needs forum. I'm not sure. But I do think the perfectionism is at the root of a lot of it...if something isn't easy, if he's not sure he's doing it right, he doesn't want to do it at all. That's true not only of academic stuff, but being out in the world, interacting with other kids, too. I've noticed he is much more at ease socially in structured situations--playing games with rules, etc. At any rate, I want to be sure anyone we talk to understands this about him and is familiar with giftedness (and I feel presumptuous even saying that since we have no "proof" that he'd be considered gifted, but, you know--taught himself to read at 3, reads 4 grade levels above his age, fascinated with negative numbers at 4, blah, blah, blah. I'm pretty sure he'd qualify for gifted programs were he in school, and I'm pretty sure some of the typical traits associated with giftedness are at the root of some of his behavioral issues).

 

Well. That was long. I feel a bit sheepish posting this, since I haven't posted much here historically, but I have been meaning to forever, so why not? Any advice on where to start looking would be much appreciated. I'm not even sure what kind of professional to call: behavioral ped? child psychologist? neuropsychologist? Our ped has not been especially helpful ("well, I could refer you to a psychiatrist....if you want.") I don't know if I want. In a lot of ways, he reminds me of myself as a kid (not the extreme shyness, but the social troubles and the perfectionism). So on hand I think, "I turned out okay" and on the other hand I think it's not just an issue of whether he's going to okay in the long run, but of whether we can do something to help him be happier and have an easier time of it right now. Okay. /novel. thanks to anyone who's made it this far!

[juls]

My own experience says that its hard to find the perfect professional for your child. One that is knowledgeable about gifted kids with special needs is especially tough. Your will likely need to help your child one step at a time as you are able to identify what he needs the most.

 

For us we first we went to a local university that had PhD candidates who would do a complete battery of testing based on the long questionnaire we filled out. This saved a good deal of $ because we were testing two children. They charges us around $225 for each full testing. It included IQ, achievement and several other tests- personality, ADHD, fine motor skills and a few others.

 

Now, this was only a start and confirmed much of what we knew academically especially. Nonetheless it has been helpful to have it all documented as the years have progressed. We have also seen many different specialist for one of our children and I still don't quite have a diagnosis that seem to fit well. He has some social issues, some sensory issues, some tic issues, some perseverances. I think overall he is "neurologically challenged". Is he on the autism spectrum? One DAN doctor said yes but he was the highest functioning patient he'd ever had. Other professionals said borderline ADHD, others said SPD and others said nothing was wrong. What matters most at this point is not the label but how to help him. This required more testing for speech, OT and vision. We tend to work on one or two things at a time so as not to be overwhelmed. Social training is a whole separate area as well.

 

As far as the gifted stuff, that plays a role too and it's been hit and miss for us when it comes to professionals who understand the challenges of a gifted child.

 

I guess I am saying that you may not find a professional that is the one stop shop for your child. It will likely be a process that may take years to help you child adequately.

 

I would encourage you to post on the special needs board too. It was hard for me to go to that board many years ago. I felt much more comfortable labeling my child as gifted then as special needs but there are some very knowledgeable folks over there that have been down many roads helping there children. I now actually think that most gifted kids have special needs in one way or another.

 

Hope this helps a bit.

[KAR120C]

The professional we found for our "quirky" DS at about that age was an educational psychologist. He actually specialized in LDs much more than G/T issues, but he knew his stuff in any case and was spot on about all kinds of things. He did do an IQ test and an assessment of his visual-motor abilities, and he just chatted with him for a while too, played with Legos, etc. Some of his recommendation came from the testing and some from the chatting and all of them were very helpful.

 

In our case it turned out that the quirks were more personality than anything, some of them transient, and only one of them requiring intervention (speech therapy), but I think it would have been a good starting place in any case (and not as expensive as I would have thought!)

 

If you call a psychologist of some kind (I'd go with a recommendation from someone local if you can get one), and explain your concerns, they should be able to tell you whether they can help and how.

[kokotg]

thanks to both of you for your thoughts!

 

juls--there's a university near us that does testing at fairly reasonable rates, too...I've actually got an e-mail in to the women in charge of testing, but I haven't heard back yet. There wasn't much information on the website, so my main question was what sort of testing might be useful and how we'd decide. Maybe they have the same system with a questionnaire to help us figure it out. He's already had an OT evaluation (at his audiologist's suggestion--I didn't feel like it was really what he needed, and it didn't yield much useful information. "He's a puzzle, isn't he?" concluded the occupational therapist. Yes, isn't he? We knew that already) and he's in speech therapy for articulation issues (or at least he was until the insurance company started giving us trouble. argh--another phone call I need to make).

[JeanM]

I don't really know too much about the whole testing process, so I'm not much help there. I do know that at least at one time, the hoagies gifted website had a page that listed different psychologists by state. I think that at least one person had to have had personal experience with the psychologist in order for them to be on the list.

 

Also the book "Quirky Kids" has a lot of good information, if you want a book recommendation.

 

Good luck,

Jean