Am I just burned out - or am I ready to send to school?

[Shelly in IL]

Let me preface this with the fact that my husband is in week 2 of a 3.5 week training program in another state. Let me also preface it with the fact that this is the busiest week of our lives and that ds has been our of our home for many hours for golf tournaments (2 this week), shadowing at the private high school today (7-1) and yesterday (all day) was the last day of our homeschool co-op.

 

Ds will be a freshman this year and is just about to turn 14. And during the 6 weeks and most pointedly, during the last week, he has changed so much it is unbeliveable! He has turned into such a selfish, peer driven kid and he is driving me crazy. He is too cool for us, etc.

 

Honestly, I'm usually so charged about picking curriculum for the next year and right now, the thought of sending him to the private school is making me giddy. I still have ds10 at home to do 5th grade next year and he really needs my attention. Alot has been swept under the rug due to older ds' needs. (Please keep in mind that he is up to grade level or beyond in his subjects, just not as much put into it as elder ds at this age.)

 

I know that you don't know what the answer is, I just needed to tell someone that I want to send him to school to get him out of my hair. I know that is also my reaction to being really stressed and over-committed right now. How do I adapt to this kid getting older and not needing me anymore? He was always my sweetie! I can't even imagine when we start adding girls into the equation in a couple years! Yikes!

 

Blossoming and growing is wonderful, but it makes me think it would be an easier transition on me if he would do it for several hours a day out of my home!!!

[MIch elle]

My ds chose to attend private high school and it's been a blessing for ALL of us.

 

I wish you strength and peace in your decision! :001_smile:

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

Don't make a decision while you are feeling exhausted. Maybe put off the decision until your dh is back from his training. Remember, putting a peer driven child in in with mainly peers," MIGHT" be a good thing or a bad thing. One thing I do know that is it almost impossible to make a good decision when you are feeling bad.

[Love2Smile]

I feel you pain,

IF we could afford a nice private highschool my dd would BE there!

Unfortunately we can't and public school is NOT an option.

I just try to keep her occupied and busy and involved in other things so she does not drive me crazy.

Some kids just belong in "nice, private highschools" and there is nothing wrong with it

[FloridaLisa]

:grouphug:

 

Fourteen-year-old boys really can drive you emotionally, can't they?!

 

I can only tell you my experience. My 14-, 15-, 16- year-old needed direction and instruction and love and discipline almost as much as he did in the toddler years. Instead of being physically exhausted like the toddler years, though, I was emotionally exhausted. Not all the time. It came in clumps over the course of a few years.

 

Now, he is graduating. While I have a few regrets of books we didn't get to or something that could have been done differently, I have am hugely thankful for the gift of time that I've had with him. Despite the emotional toll here and there, I also saw fruit. It continued to need pruning and fertilizing, but lo and behold -- there is now good fruit!

 

Also, realize that if your ds dual-enrolls as so many do in their junior year, you really only have two more years at home with him. I mean, he'll be at home, but on a different schedule and accountable to someone else for pace and grades.

 

I could write so much more but I've got to go. Sending some encouragement your way to find some solutions within the homeschooling paradigm unless school is the clear choice.

 

HTH,

Lisa

Edited May 13, 2010 by FloridaLisa

[WTMCassandra]

And during the 6 weeks and most pointedly, during the last week, he has changed so much it is unbeliveable! He has turned into such a selfish, peer driven kid and he is driving me crazy. He is too cool for us, etc.

 

I know you're overwrought andi agree with others that you shouldn't make a decision right now.

 

However, I see a logical disconnect between your stated problem and the proposed solution. If what I quoted above is truly what you se as your problem, I think more time with peers and being away from home more will make the problem worse, not better. Just food for thought.

[Shelly in IL]

He actually wants to stay home, it is me who is in dire need of a break!

 

He shadowed today at the private school - saw lots of kids he knew and went with a particularly good friend. He had a pleasant experience, but could not believe how much time wasting happened. Couldn't believe how much they didn't accomplish because of talking, etc. Was certain he would get a better education at home.

 

On the bright side, he came up to me and said, "Ya know, I think I was getting cocky and now I've had a reality check." His attitude is immensely better!

[FloridaLisa]

On the bright side, he came up to me and said, "Ya know, I think I was getting cocky and now I've had a reality check." His attitude is immensely better!

 

Yesss! Fruit is beginning to ripen. Thank goodness our dc have moments like these as it can really sustain us through those emotionally-draining moments! Journal this, mark it down for the next (probable) buck from your growing bronco. ;)

 

Lisa

[Sunshine State Sue]

:grouphug:

 

I hear you. I am right there with you. I have to be vigilant with ds or he will treat me like :smash:

 

I'd love ds to shadow, but I'd have to physically force him (as if I could) to shadow.

 

My plan is to use summer camp to get the break *I* need. Outsource more next year, although I have found that that doesn't take me out as much as I'd like.

 

One good thing is that dh is stepping up to spend lots more time with ds. Dh's days off are Mon/Tue, so he will intervene when he hears ds's mouthing off. I imagine it would be very difficult if dh was away.