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If you can't afford outside activities...


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One other thing I thought of was to for a small co-op of like-minded homeschoolers. Getting out to co-op would consider as an "activity" in their minds, because they could see their friends. We did a very small one where I taught an "American Girl" class. The girls read the books at home and we did crafts and activities together, but it could also be science lessons, organized game time, or whatever, academic or not. After we would do lunch together and the kids would have time to play outside while the moms visited. This was virtually cost free. Or, with warmer weather coming, you could organize summer park days where the kids could get together to play and moms visit and see where it leads in the fall.

 

FWIW,

Kimm

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I would ask for scholarships also.

 

Your family is doing what mine would if not for all of the extra cirrcs. We now have a car payment for the first time in 4 years because we did not save up the money for it. Thankfully we can afford both the payment and the extra cirrs now, but it would be nice not to have that car payment.

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:iagree: Also, you can (if interested) get them into sports, music and such like that through the PS system you live in. That is a free service since you are a taxpayer!

 

Sadly, this is not a choice available to homeschooling families in many, many school districts. The line between enrolled student and not enrolled student can be unbreakable.

 

 

Unfortunately, our area is one of those which does NOT allow homeschool students to participate in sports, music, drama, etc. though the school system. I pursued it for my dd, but was told in no uncertain terms that taxpayer or not, since she was not enrolled in school, she could not participate in fine arts at the local high school. :( If I had the financial resources to do so, I would take them to court to demand that either I be excused from paying a portion of my county taxes OR my dd be allowed to participate in these programs.

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Eh... sounds like you need some friends who value the richness of life, rather than the richness they pour into activities.

 

I don't think Lincoln ever paid for enrichment. And, he grew up just fine. I think he ended up with a pretty good job too. :001_smile:

 

Hang in there mama....

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We could probably afford some combination of outside activities if we chose wisely, but we still choose not to. To me, sports, music lessons, gymnastics are luxuries and fun extras but not a necessity by any means. I choose to give my kids the gift of free time and loads of opportunities to build relationships with one another. We've done sports in the past when the oldest were little. I hated giving up our weekends. Back in PA we belonged to a YMCA that had many activities and sports at a reasonable cost. I got so sick of feeling pulled in all directions. When we first moved out here, I was disappointed at first not to have the same opportunities, but I'm so much happier moving at a slower pace.

 

No guilt, no worries.

 

Barb

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I did a few activities as a child and as a teenager, but fewer than some of my peers, and fewer than what you're describing with these other families. The main result? I stayed sane instead of running around all over creation all the time, and so did my mom.

 

I think that you looking for free and dirt cheap opportunities is good, but mostly, you should enjoy being together as a family. I bet you have supper together more often than all those people who have to work around soccer practice all the time.

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You've been given lots of great suggestions and I won't repeat them. :) But two things I haven't seen mentioned....

 

1) You might consider lowering your expectations as to the amount you want to spend on your next car. We've never spent more than $4000 cash on any vehicle we own and we don't drive clunkers. The trick is to have the money saved and buy the car when the good deal comes along, rather than waiting until you need one NOW and are a desperate buyer. We do save money for the future, but we don't personally save a car payment-worth every month specifically for a car because we would not spend that much on a vehicle. Your mileage may vary. ;)

 

2) Another thing I would do is evaluate your other expenses. It sounds like you are very frugal, so this might seem redundant. Rhetorical questions... is your mortgage no more than 25% of your net income including taxes and insurance? Have you priced independent insurance companies for the best possible deal? Can you get rid of a cell phone or only use pre-paid ones for emergencies? I could go on, but I'm sure you are a master at saving money in lots of areas. Amortgage can be a huge problem. Lots of people buy more house than they can afford and then struggle to be able to afford other things in life.

 

 

But hey, even if you can't afford the extras, your kids will have great memories from growing up in a loving household. :)

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We never did any outside activities either, except for 2 weeks of swimming lessons one year. I have several dc who can't swim because we can't even afford that right now. The only outside activities my kids do are one week of VBS/choir camp in the summer and this year they won't be doing choir camp because the church isn't offering it.

 

In my opinion my kids haven't suffered at all from the lack of outside activities and I wouldn't do them even if we could afford them (with the exception of swimming lessons) because they simply take up too much time and make for a hectic lifestyle and I'm just not into that. I just don't think the benefit is worth the cost, both in time and money.

 

Now, things change a bit when the kids hit high school age and one of the reasons mine have gone to public high school is because I didn't have the money or time to take them to co-ops and other extracurricular stuff. But most of their extracurricular activities are with our church youth group anyway.

 

So you aren't alone and your kids will be fine without all that stuff.

 

Susan in TX

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Again, thanks to all who have taken the time to respond. I am taking notes and will run the suggestions by my dh tonight.

 

I appreciate everything that has been posted. I have a lot to think about yet want everyone to know that I feel so encouraged on a day that began quite discouragingly.

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We have had years of doing lots of extras. This year, due to finances, we have one full day out of the house at co-op as our extra. It was a big reduction, but I think we are happier this way. It makes that one day so much more special, and we aren't stuck trekking to things just for the sake of having a place to go. Extras are nice, but not necessary. I agree with the others who have mentioned the gift of free time. It's one of the few things I am able to give to my children in abundance, and I see what a positive difference it makes in their lives. I know it feels very different to end up with a less-is-more approach when it's based on necessity rather than choice, but I think you'll end up reaping the same rewards from it.

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Don't have time to read all of the comments, so sorry if this is a repeat, but . . .

 

. . . where we live, the YMCA is 65$/month and all of your kids can then be on all of their teams for free, plus use the pool, plus kids 9+ can use the weights and other equipment. Plus 2 hours/day free care for little kids. And if you make less than a certain amount per year (I don't know what the amount is) they will even waive the 65$/mo.

 

Is there anything like that near you?

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4. It is controversial, but some states have alternative ed programs through the PS for homeschoolers. There are MANY that restrict our freedoms, but we've found one in WA that does not. I have not made ANY changes to my curriculum (much of it Christian) to participate in this program. They do not place requirements on me that are unreasonable (just reporting what we already do). They do not put requirements on either my curriculum or my students because I don't want to get a HS diploma through them. It has allowed our children to take karate & piano lessons and have 2 of my boys enrolled in a drafting/design class. (For those tempted to flame me: please leave the judging and convicting to

God).

 

:iagree:

 

We were not able to do any outside activities until we enrolled in a virtual charter school. Or buy curriculum that isn't used. It has been such a blessing for us, and the reporting really hasn't been burdensome.

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what some moms do here is organize their own activities. One group of moms got together and organized a shakespeare club and the kids just finished putting on a play. Others organize their own gym programs. Some churches will let you rent their gym for a small fee and if there are other homeschooling families interested then everyone shares the cost. Another mom I know rents a local school gym one night a week . You could organize your own book club. Another mom hosted a chess club in her home once a week

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It sounds like you're doing a great job with saving---but you could also work on the outside activites through some additional income. Your oldest 3 kids are old enough to earn $$ through pet-sitting, yard help, mother's helper, etc.

 

I might also consider not paying into the next car fund occasionally. If you made 10-11 payments per year instead of 12, it might be worth it. It's all a balancing act.

 

We often ask grandparents to give a gift of lessons, etc. instead of "objects" for birthdays, Christmas, etc. The fascination with the object is usually short-lived. A gift of music or a sport is a gift that lasts a lifetime.

 

I do think the extra-curriculars are important, but you can probably find a way to keep with your responsible financial ways and get some extras.

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Sadly, this is not a choice available to homeschooling families in many, many school districts. The line between enrolled student and not enrolled student can be unbreakable.

 

Some moms obtain music lessons by bartering services which they can supply and which are desired by the music teacher.

 

As said by many other posters, you, OP, manage your resources responsibly and are to be admired greatly !

.

 

 

Oh really? :confused::confused:I assumed it was everywhere. Where we moved from in Michigan and here in Wyoming legally they have to allow homeschoolers to participate whether the school district wants to or not. I thought that was everywhere. Sorry I didnt know that

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I haven't read all the replies, but we find ways to do it. This is what I do in my neighborhood.

 

The homeschool group trips and classes we participate in range from free to $10 per child (I have no interest in the $150 things). These are coordinated by parents. Dd is a competitive dancer and starting in September she can do a work study 4 hours a week and get free tuition (saving us over $200/month). Ds is in cub scouts (maybe like $40 for 5 months) and will do either basketball or football next - these are maybe $100 for the whole season (at least 4-6 months), uniforms included. I also work for a company that gives me (and 2 to 5 guests) a free corporate membership to just about every museum and cultural center in NYC. I also look in the local papers for free/cheap events around town. Home Depot has a free kids workshop every first Saturday of the month. An art museum near me does a free kids workshop every Sunday afternoon. A sculpture park 15 minutes away does free art classes every Saturday afternoon. Many museums and art galleries have free classes.

 

There are festivals and celebrations at the parks (Native American Powwows, Chinese Dragon Boat racing, etc) that are free. Most of the parks have free tennis, track, and swimming lessons a few mornings a week throughout the summer. The local libraries have free weekly clubs for things like chess, knitting, comic book making, game days, creative writing, and storytimes. They also do a lot of shows and workshops over the summer that are also free. A local performing arts center has a kids summer stage program for kids up to 13 years old - both my younger kids did that last summer (it was every day for 2 weeks) and they loved it.

 

There are Shakespeare in the park performances, concerts, fireworks shows, and stuff like that at the larger parks. A beach day with your friends or a day at the park is only the cost of a picnic lunch.

 

So the cheap and free stuff is out there, you just have to look for them, organize something on your own, and gather up some friends to do them with. It's the only way I do things!

Edited by Abkjw01
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Money bites. Don't compare yourselves to anyone. Just do the best you can for your kids and be proud about your priorities.

 

In the past, we have been able to do quite a few nice activies through our Parks and Rec Dept. They have no to low -cost sports and other activites. They also have scholarships or greatly reduced fees for some of them. Couldn't hurt to give them a call and see whether there is any money for local families.

 

When my sister first divorced, she called the Y and was able to get a free membership for her family. They were quite supportive. If you could get a reduced Y membership, your kids could do free swims, sports, swimming lessons etc. Ours has an indoor climbing wall that is very popular.

 

Our town schools (I know, schools lol!) offer summer classes for remediation, but they also offer enrichment classes. Summer is not the same as the regular school year. I've seen art, computer animation, creative writing, tennis, field hockey etc listed as options. Some are free, some require a fee. Often, there are scholarships. Sometimes these are listed online, or just call the school dept & ask about summer programming/summer school.

 

Our library has absolutely free weekly programming for infants to teen all summer long. Some activites are excellent-- we did a poetry workshop that I thought was stellar. They also offer some lame crafts, lol, but also some really good young people book discussion groups, among other things. (You might want to check what books they will be discussing in case you don't want your children to read certain authors. Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, Percy Jackson, etc have all been popular recently). We have heard wonderful musicians and story-tellers. One year there was African Drumming by a professional touring company. The Reptile Visit is always popular. ;) Our library has flyers that list every activity, so you can pick and choose what works, and skip the more lame-o crafts. (Although sometimes my kids like things that make me cringe. lol)

 

There is a fancy theater near our town that offers some decent summer children's productions. It can add up at $5/person (tots and babes on laps are free), but it is a greatly reduced cost. Sometimes you can trade ushering for free admisssion, too. It's hard to usher with little kids, but you can usher a different or eveing production.

 

Through Inter Library Loan we can get free passes to various museums. These are much in demand, but eventually your turn will roll around. :)

 

Many museums have free days each month. it's crowded, but it's something. Larger museums often have scholarship money for their programming. It doesn't hurt to ask. I know someone who got a full scholarship to marine science summer program at The New England Aquarium.

 

Some colleges and unis have children's theater programs in the summer, and some offer scholarships.

 

Volunterring can be a great way to do an activity for free. I've known older kids to vounteer in zoos, aquariums, libraries and animal shelters. When I was visiting my Dad in the hospital recently, I was *shocked* to see that a version of young 'Candy Stripers' still exists. I had no idea.

 

I think long lazy summers of books and making smores at the grill is a nice way to pass a summer, so sometimes doing nothing is doing something. (Sorry, Bill. lol)

 

I am torn on this as well. Being dept-free is a goal worth the sacrifice, and I have probably spent money when I shouldn't have. There are often many interesting activites that could spark a life-long interest, esp as children get older. I might do money 'triage', and that might not seem fair. It seems to me that little kids seem happiest at home, or doing free and fun stuff at the park and in the yard -- add some some dirt and water, and you've got a thrilled little. However, older kids can benefit greatly from a good program in an interst area.

Edited by LibraryLover
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I am sorry to hear about your problems finding affordable activities. We now are in a situation where we can afford some extras but let me tell you what we did when we moved 14 years ago from one area of the country (where our income was over the median) to another area (where our income was in the lower 20%). I had two then and soon to be three. I saved a lot of money by making food I would buy at the old place. I found some recreation programs that were affordable, at least occasionally, and carved out money for them. I joined a homeschool group that had a low fee (I think it was $25 a year) and we had fun activities like PE classes, field trips, and holiday parties that cost no more than our driving costs or bringing a snack to share. With this group, my son was able to be ina historical re-enactment at a state historical site (Sutter's Fort). Yes, the costume cost me fabric and time and for myself, I had to rent a costume but it certainly was worth it. WE did VBS with two churches, our own and another, and those were either free or $20. We did soccer and gymnastic through the base so that was low cost but often there is a group like Boys and GIrls club that offers something like this. Oh, and yes, we did continue living life but did save less while we lived in that high cost area compared to what we had done earlier.

 

I will pray that you find a solution.

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Your large family is a treasured luxury in itself. How many of the families that you are referring to have eight or nine children?

 

 

Oh! I missed the 9 children part! You already have a party at your house single every day! :party: That has to be super-interesting and fun! One would have to be pretty wealthy to feed, house, clothe, & and come up with extra money for extra activities! I understand feeling sad you can't give your children some of activities smaller families might manage; yet other people might wish they had more children. (I know I do sometimes). It's not really possible to get blood from a stone now, is it? So I agree with Annandatje...how many of the families participating in that conversation have 9 children? BTW, I think it's amazing that you are doing this without creating debt. Thumbs up.

Edited by LibraryLover
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Unfortunately, our area is one of those which does NOT allow homeschool students to participate in sports, music, drama, etc. though the school system. I pursued it for my dd, but was told in no uncertain terms that taxpayer or not, since she was not enrolled in school, she could not participate in fine arts at the local high school. :( If I had the financial resources to do so, I would take them to court to demand that either I be excused from paying a portion of my county taxes OR my dd be allowed to participate in these programs.

 

I have thought about this kind of response to exclusion, and eventually decided that I do not view things in this way. If I do not attend a school, I do not partake of its offerings, no matter what kind they be (academic, athletic, fine arts). Fair situation. I concluded that I do not believe contentions which are based on the fact that I pay taxes. I have no control over any of the tax monies which I am forced to pay. There are myriad uses of my tax monies which I consider illegitimate; education is but one. What I do accept is the fearful truth that as soon as I secure any participation by a child in a public school program, I voluntarily have relinquished my legal autonomy protecting how, when, and where I educate my children.

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:grouphug:

 

Can you try the YMCA or another group that your are most interested in again and explain that you have 7 children? They might be willing to work with you if you explain your situation. (I'm assuming they are going by a fixed number, not an income divided by children number.)

 

You almost enough your own soccer or basketball game if you just add in one more family to even up the teams, I would love to do something like that if we were nearby.

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I know how trapped and hard pressed you must feel. Only, my oldest is will be in second grade soon and we have just recently been able to afford curriculum. Very little and not everything, but it will do. Miquon math, PP, and Cursive first. I got the last two used. I was also able MFW K used!! YIPEE!!! So, although you haven't been able to do outside activities at least your able to buy curriculum! And how I wish we could afford health care. I have needed some medical care for several years as well as my son and though we were able to get some recently (need further testing but it's looking like I have diabetes and DS and I have gluten, dairy, egg, and peanut allergies!!), we still need a few hundred dollars to finish the testing. Who know when that will happen. I'm banking on at least a year if things follow our usual pattern. I often buy food day to day, because that is our only choice. We've been living in trailers and nasty, gross (Eww) homes that we offer to fix up for rent. We just recently have enough income to join the ranks of rent payers and can now afford a $675 dollar rent. Like you and may others, we refuse to get food stamps or welfare. We REFUSE to get into debt. We always had credit cards (to get the frequent flier miles) but paid them off each and every month. We cut them up and closed our accounts when our finances began going down hill because it was way too tempting to keep them. You may be surprised to hear this but we are educated and very normal people. We lost over half a million of our OWN money in this recession. Gone. Sold every thing else we had for pennies on the dollar just to survive. Anyway, yes I drool over all the activities offered. And it makes me sad when there's one that sounds like so much fun for one of my dc that just isn't gonna happen. I hear ya. I understand. It's hard. You're not alone. :grouphug: And, yes, I understand fighting back the tears and the lump in the throat, and the ache (literal) in the heart.

Edited by mommyjen
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I am so sorry you are having these feelings. We are not able to do everything that we would like, either.

 

One thing I did this year has turned out to be very affordable. I started a small homeschool co-op. I found a church that would let us meet for free, although we give them a donation. I found about 15 families, 40 kids, who wanted to participate. We only charged $35 per family for supplies. The kids did have to bring some of their own art supplies like crayons, glue, scissors. We met for 8 weeks and had classes for 3 hours. We did it both semesters and did charge a fee for each semester.

 

We offered the classes the moms were willing to teach. It worked out very well and my kids loved it. It got us out of the house one day a week with others.

 

I know one homeschool support group here has their own sports teams such as softball, soccer, and other outdoor sports. Parents coach and there's only the cost of the equipment and a t-shirt.

 

If there are things your kids really want to do, I'd try to barter system. Maybe you could tutor math for a mom who would offer piano lessons in exchange. We all probably don't try that route enough.

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If there are things your kids really want to do, I'd try to barter system. Maybe you could tutor math for a mom who would offer piano lessons in exchange. We all probably don't try that route enough.

 

Yes!! My dh is (now) a farmer (of ALL things!) and we have a commodity that most people want. I took us some time to get into the trading mindset, but now we are having a great time with it. We have traded for grass fed beef, organic vegetables, hay, business cards, and recently...carpet cleaning!! :D

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I didn't have a chance to read all the replies -- I am probably repeating someone, but anyway:

 

-- if there are any Challenger (special needs) sports teams in your area, they might be one way of getting your dc involved in sports. Challenger teams are always looking for "buddies" -- and it is more important for buddies to be kind than it is for them to be expert in a sport.

 

-- in our area, lots of organizations have some free activities once in a while, like nature center walks on Earth Day, open houses once a year, Audubon Society walks, ethnic festivals, etc. I really have to look at a lot of websites to find the best activities, but they are out there. Would this work in your area?

 

-- Cub/Boy Scouts have a policy that no one should be excluded from an activity for lack of money. Probably this varies a bit from troop to troop, but it might be worth looking at. I am not familiar with 4H, etc, but would that be similar?

 

-- The YMCAs that I know have a lot of scholarships. They really want to reach people of all income levels and do a lot of fund raising to support scholarship programs.

Edited by Alessandra
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I feel as though I am cheating my dc out of things because there is no way we can afford to have them in sports and such;

 

It's more the specialized lessons/activities that we are unable to participate in.

 

We are a family of four, living far below poverty level for our area, and have only ever owned one vehicle at a time in almost 16 years of marriage; the last 5 1/2 years in an area with no public transportation - no hope of any soon, nor hope of obtaining a second vehicle. I once put my then 5yods in gymnastics - that was a rousing success, with a teacher who barely paid attention to the rowdy 5-6 year old boys! Another time I put both kids in swim lessons with other homeschoolers - the pool quickly got very crowded and I hated the rush in and out, and they didn't get enough practice anyway. I then figured I could take them to the $7.50/family swim time at a very quiet time of day, and teach them on my own, and *I* could swim with them, too. And I didn't have to go every week or even every month if I didn't want to.

 

Probably because we have been so "restricted," I just have come to a point where I question the whole "activities" frenzy that I see all around me. People get excited, I hear about something, I want to put my kids into it, and then I usually realize it's just not possible without a whole lot of hassle. I used to get so disappointed, but I don't anymore, most of the time. I see the positive things that have come from this restriction - we have lots of time together as a family, we have time to work out relationships, we have time to read and play, we have time to visit with other people, we have time to think, we have time to plan for the future, we have no debt except for the mortgage, we have learned many frugal skills that will serve all of us in life, etc..

 

"Activities" for children have become less important to us. I know in the back of my mind that when my kids are older or grown up that they will still have opportunities - they will have them for the rest of their lives. I took a 3 month performing arts school, with beginner classes in ballet, theatre, and mime, when I was 25. I took a beginner step-dance class at age 32. I figure if my kids can't do these things while they are kids, it's not the end of the world. But, they are not deprived of "extras" outside of basic academics - I teach my kids to draw and paint (not regularly, but it does happen); my musical dh teaches them to play piano. Are we an artist and a piano player? NO! I use books to teach them, and dh uses a piano series that we collect from thrift stores. We had a piano given to us.

 

I read here a lot that "if you can't teach your kids something, farm it out." Well, we can't do that, so if we want our kids to have a certain skill, we learn it and teach it - mostly from books. It's the best we can do, but we are fine with that, esp. now that we've had time to see the benefits of what seemed to be deprivation.

 

BTW, good for you and dh for putting money away for your future vehicle needs!!

Edited by Colleen in NS
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When I say press -I don't mean "just give me money for my child to do___)!! I mean instead of buying this $50 toy that will break in a month, how about $35 sports fee. If the family members are going to spend money anyway and most people do call asking for ideas of what to get child. If nobody in your family buys gifts for your kids, then of course you couldn't do this.

 

I apologize. I read your word "press" literally, rather than with your intended meaning of "encourage".

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I haven't read all the responses, but I can tell you that the community arts school I teach at has free and reduced tuition based on income for their programs, and I suspect other programs do, too. I also know that several of the older girls at my DD's dance school get free tuition in exchange for serving as assistants with the youngest classes.

 

Also, do you have any family members who normally buy gifts for your kids who could pay for a class/activity instead? I have quite a few music students who have their lessons paid for as a present from grandparents. My DD's grandparents and great grandparents pay for our family memberships to the zoo, science museum, and children's museum for her Christmas gifts each year, which then lets her participate in the homeschool activities they have without extra expense to us.

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1. You're living a different lifestyle. Cash only is a very difficult concept for many people to understand. My mom is absolutely horrified by the idea. She believes debt is American and that it's important to have what you want even if you have to make payments on it forever.

 

2. Create your own opportunity. How about starting a co-op? Ask a few families if they would be interested in studying something together, like FIAR (Five In a Row) or other literature based studies that lend themselves to fun activities. You could do nature study, biology, geography (games with maps if nothing else). You may find willing parents who specialize in something and you can trade off. It's not professional classes or lessons, but learning and fun don't need professionals. :)

 

We've had years where we didn't feel we could afford anything. We've had years where we pulled money from savings. It is what it is. I think you're awesome because you're trying to stay out of debt. I'm trying to, but I'm not trying hard. Good job!

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I apologize. I read your word "press" literally, rather than with your intended meaning of "encourage".

 

No problem. I didn't choose the best word. I was thinking press because I know some people don't think it's a gift unless it is an actual item.

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Thank you for all the wonderful suggestions! There are a few things we have done/looked into:

 

Family members/gifts: we asked once and it was met with open resistance...sigh

Our gifts to the kids: we try to find something everyone can do (zoo membership - $65) once/year as a replacement for Xmas gifts. Our limit has been $75 although that may be down quite a bit this year.

YMCA - we do not qualify for any discount/scholarship

Theatre scholarship - again, we do not qualify

Increase income - dh took on a job managing a rental yet the $100/month he earns went toward our increased health insurance for last year; we just refinanced and will use the $93/month saved for health insurance increases this coming year

 

 

THIS is the difficult part - we are just barely above the cut-off for financial aid for most things. I don't know if there are so many low-income families in our area that the demand for aid is too high but for those who are inbetween it is nearly impossible to get help.

 

We have already cut our vehicle payment by $50 to cover everyday costs. I just got an email from my dh that says we now need to find another $164/month for health insurance starting in July. I am crying my eyes out. So now our vehicle payment will go way down but not for outside activities. This has been a very bad day to say the least.

 

We used to be able to use some of our income for extra activities. For 12 years we lived below our means but that has changed in the last two years (as it has for so many people) NOT because of choices we made that were financially irresponsible but because of the economy and the effect it has had on my dh's job. We do not know when his hours will be cut or when he will lose his job altogether so every penny we put in the bank will help us survive should something happen. There is no one we know who would be able to help us financially should we need it so we are very much on our own. We go to parks and hike a lot so that is our family fun time. It's more the specialized lessons/activities that we are unable to participate in.

 

I will look into the other suggestions including the public school idea. Our schools here are downright scary so we have hesitated having our dc involved in any way.

 

If family members are unwilling to consider paying for activities - suggest equipment. Your four oldest children are close in age. They could practice basketball, badminton, tennis, volleyball, croquet, bocce, beanbags (corn hole in the midwest), softball/baseball, archery, dodgeball, kickball, etc. together. If a few friends can join in, you'd have the sort of pick-up games kids used to play all summer. Bicycling is also good exercise and once you have the bikes and helmets, cheap.

 

You mention that your family likes to hike. Have you tried orienteering? Frizbee golf can be played in many parks.

 

You don't mention whether you live in town or in the country. If your yard is large enough, set up an obstacle course. Or, better yet, have your children design one. Your children might enjoy a backyard campout. You could join them for a supervised cook-out, then retire to the house. See if you can get your hands on old scouting guides. The ones from the make-do eras might have some ideas that would appeal to your kids.

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I haven't read any of the other posts, because there are 9 pages that are filled with I'm sure, reassurance and support. I am sure someone has also already suggested my idea.

 

Volunteer. There are many wonderful opportunities for your dc through volunteering. I don't know if you live near a Ronald McDonald house, but 16-year-olds can volunteer there (A few years down the road for your oldest, I see but something to think about.) Animal shelters. Homeless shelters. Community outreach programs. Camps during the summer.

 

I understand, it is by no means what you meant by a private program, but at least they can get out in the community and get opportunities. Who knows, maybe they will be offered something.

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This may not be a popular thought but it's what comes into my mind. My dh refused to have more than 2 kids with me because of finances (he has a 3rd child from another marriage). If you have 7 kids, and a limited income...you're not going to be able to afford to give your 7+ kids the same as what those of us with 2 or so kids can give ours. Its simple mathematics. There is no law out there which says that more money will come if you have many kids.

So, the balance is still there...you have a big family and all the benefits that come with having a big family. But you don't get the benefits that come with a big family AND the benefits that come from having a small family- which is being able to afford to spend more on extras on each child (generally speaking- of course there are people who dont fit in either catagory). There is no divine right that every child gets classes no matter how many kids we have.

So I think that everyone has given you lots of possible suggestions so I dont have anything else to offer. But my suggestion is to focus more on what you do have and less on what you dont. I would have loved a big family- not to be for me. So I focus on what I have and yes I can afford to have my two kids do classes. I also have time to work part time now they are older, and bring in extra income as things get tighter. But I have felt an ache for not having more children for many years.

We all have our difficulties and we make our choices in life. Focus on the blessings and what you CAN do for your kids' benefit, and let go of what you can't. We all can't do some things. My kids would get benefits in school they cant get with me and sometimes I feel regret over that- but overall, this is what I do and there are blessings and I do count them every day.

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You might rethink the cost of sports, etc. in public schools. I know that here it is several hundred dollars per sport to participate.

 

It looks like you have a large family. That helps to make any outing a social sort of field trip. I don't know where you live but are there free things in your area you could take advantage of? Could you go to a park and invite friends for a free spring time "field day"? You could organize all sorts of games and let the olders help run the events for the youngers, while parents run the events for the olders.

 

Or could you organize a weekly "park day" for yourself and friends and go to a different park each week? Do your parks offer any free or very low cost programming you could take advantage of?

 

Could you put on your own play (or do it with friends)? You could perform it out of doors, in a park. We have Shakespeare in the park here during the summer, for instance. If any of you play music (or sing) you could also do a concert in the park. There are tons of free plays available online (of all lengths).

 

Do your children play any instruments? If not and if you want them to learn, perhaps you could barter services you have to offer for lessons. If the olders take lessons, perhaps they could then teach the youngers.

 

You have this in your signature line: "What our country really needs is creative, inventive, independent thinking students who know more about how to learn and less about how to twitter, text, and stay alive on an Xbox

360." It's completely true. YOU have such students! Put your brains together and learn/create together! You don't need someone else to teach you in order to have a worthwhile experience. YOU can create your own worthwhile experience!

 

My state used to offer all kinds of free activities to state parks, museums, etc. in May every year. I haven't heard anything about it this year, so maybe the economy has changed things. But lots of zoos, museums, etc. have special offers at least occasionally. I'd look at websites or call and inquire about any special deals, then calendar those to take advantage of them as they come up during the year.

 

I think you are absolutely on the right path. It's certainly not the path of the majority of folks these days, but I happen to think it's still the RIGHT path. And you're modeling terrific values for your children, too. Hang in there! I hope you find some great offerings in your area you can take advantage of for your children - but I think you can also make your own fun (and that your four older children can be a big part in helping you do that)!

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I know I will probably get lambasted for this, I haven't seen anyone else mention this, but what about cutting back on "tithing"? I don't go to church (quit going for many reasons - tithing one of them) and so I don't give to a church. Even when I did go I didn't "tithe" I gave what I thought I could afford.

That is just my thought, I won't get into why I think that...that is a whole different thread :) But perhaps cutting back a bit to ensure you can get a couple kids into something could be a consideration.

 

Although I only have 3 children I am in the same boat as you except I can't tithe even if I was so inclined and can't save. We barely make enough money between my hubby and I to pay for what we have. So there aren't any extra activites. We tried a few, Awana...American Heritage Girls... kids didn't like them.

 

Anyhow there it is :) Do with it what you will!

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

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We have a decent income IMHO but choose to live debt free and with a buffer. We don't have our 3 kids in everything that comes along and I am tired of listening to moms complaining about cost of living when their kids are in everything under the sun.

 

We do what we can afford, which is primarily cub and boyscouting, golf with dad, and some activities that are free or close to free. Homeschool soccer for $60 for 10 weeks for example, was affordable enough to do.

 

Dawn

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:iagree: Balance is key to our budget.... even if it means me going back to work when the kids are grown. We save some but not as much as others. We do some activities but not all... vacations now, with the kids, are just as important as retirement savings. So we go on some vacations and save some. We put down about half on our cars, and have small car payments. Why? Because life isn't just about the future, it's about now too.

 

snip...

I have to tell you though....you said you do nothing. You are debt free and put money in the bank. Obviously you don't want to be charging things but you don't have to.

 

Find some balance. Why are you putting every dime in the bank? Why aren't you spending some of it on family fun or kid activities? It's like dieting....if you deprive yourself all the time you only want it more.

 

snip....

 

I can't imagine saving all our money and giving nothing to our kids. I can tell you right now that doing music has been a blessing to us all. It's costly, but I can see the blessings. It is worth the money. Now soccer for us was not worth the money, lol. Find something that you can appreciate, that your kids enjoy, that doesn't break the bank. It's ok to spend a little for their growth. Just find your balance :-)

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This may not be a popular thought but it's what comes into my mind. .. If you have 7 kids, and a limited income...you're not going to be able to afford to give your 7+ kids the same as what those of us with 2 or so kids can give ours. Its simple mathematics. There is no law out there which says that more money will come if you have many kids.... There is no divine right that every child gets classes no matter how many kids we have. ....We all have our difficulties and we make our choices in life. Focus on the blessings and what you CAN do for your kids' benefit, and let go of what you can't. We all can't do some things.

 

:iagree: All very good points. I've made similar points with my own children.

 

Barb

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We've always had help from grandparents with paying for extracurricular activities. For Christmas, we get memberships to local Museums, like the science center and the zoo. Since we have four kids, we qualify for a reduced price Y membership, and we do a lot of activities there.

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I have not read all the responses because there are so many! But I wanted to add my thoughts on this. My kids are in quite a few extras, and it costs us more than I would like. We don't have debt, though, but we are not doing things to the house that we could (new cabinets--ours are literally falling apart, repairing the concrete in the driveway, fencing in the yard, new bathrooms, etc.). I've decided that it is better to invest in my children than in my house. :tongue_smilie: HOWEVER, too many activities detract from a child's life, too. This is where we are. I am trying to figure out what to scale back because I feel like all we do is drive around sometimes or worry about making sure we get our practice in on piano and violin. So, trust me, extracurriculars are not always a great thing.

 

If I did not have any money to spend on outside activities, I would not fret too much. It is what it is. You can do so much at home with them. I would look into teaching them useful things that they will know throughout their lives. Knitting or other handicrafts, for example. Knitting is an art and it is a skill that will produce useful, beautiful things. Something like this can be just as lovely as taking art classes or doing organized sports. Also, with a large family, you could create your own theatre projects. You can find plays at the library and dole out parts and put on your own show. For music, can you afford recorders for each of them with a how-to book? Enjoying music doesn't have to be about taking pricey lessons. You can gain just as much enjoyment out of something simpler. My goal with music for my kids has been that I'd like them to be able to play a tune here or there for their own enjoyment throughout life. For art, one simple book like Draw Squad can do wonders for a kid. Also, you could start a kid's book club, which would be free. Just some ideas.

 

Sometimes, it really is true that the best things in life are free. And I think when it comes to extracurriculars, I also believe that sometimes less is more.

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If you have 7 kids, and a limited income...you're not going to be able to afford to give your 7+ kids the same as what those of us with 2 or so kids can give ours. Its simple mathematics. There is no law out there which says that more money will come if you have many kids.

So, the balance is still there...you have a big family and all the benefits that come with having a big family. But you don't get the benefits that come with a big family AND the benefits that come from having a small family- which is being able to afford to spend more on extras on each child (generally speaking- of course there are people who dont fit in either catagory). There is no divine right that every child gets classes no matter how many kids we have.

 

Peela has a point. I am one of eleven children, and while my parents were relatively wealthy, with eleven children, things could get a bit tight. Not with the basics, thank G-d, but with the extras. So while I was growing up, we basically only had group swimming lessons at the Jewish Community Center (like a YMCA or YWCA) and maybe a couple of years of piano lessons (my mom inherited the piano from her parents).

 

But on the upside, we learned how to share from a very young age. We learned not to have a sense of entitlement. We learned how to deal with difficult people. We learned family pride. Big families were not uncommon in our religious community, but we were still considered an unusual family. I can handle almost any child-rearing crisis--my parents saw almost all of it. I can use cloth diapers with pins (does that make me a dinosauer?).

 

So was it worth it? Yes! Do I regret sometimes not having the opportunities that kids have today? Sometimes. But I also learned how to take initiative to make things happen, and so I can make up for most of it now (although I will obviously never be a concert pianist or prima ballerina :lol:. But I can learn ballet via DVD or learn to play "Oh Susannah" on the piano.). Even today, I am considered a strong woman who does not need anyone to make thing happen (obviously I need G-d. But I am not sitting around like Cinderella waiting for a prince to rescue me). My car fails? I take public transportation. We don't have money for books or activities? We go to the library and figure out how to do it on our own. And that's a great gift my parents gave me.

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Peela has a point. I am one of eleven children, and while my parents were relatively wealthy, with eleven children, things could get a bit tight. Not with the basics, thank G-d, but with the extras. So while I was growing up, we basically only had group swimming lessons at the Jewish Community Center (like a YMCA or YWCA) and maybe a couple of years of piano lessons (my mom inherited the piano from her parents).

 

But on the upside, we learned how to share from a very young age. We learned not to have a sense of entitlement. We learned how to deal with difficult people. We learned family pride. Big families were not uncommon in our religious community, but we were still considered an unusual family. I can handle almost any child-rearing crisis--my parents saw almost all of it. I can use cloth diapers with pins (does that make me a dinosauer?).

 

So was it worth it? Yes! Do I regret sometimes not having the opportunities that kids have today? Sometimes. But I also learned how to take initiative to make things happen, and so I can make up for most of it now (although I will obviously never be a concert pianist or prima ballerina :lol:. But I can learn ballet via DVD or learn to play "Oh Susannah" on the piano.). Even today, I am considered a strong woman who does not need anyone to make thing happen (obviously I need G-d. But I am not sitting around like Cinderella waiting for a prince to rescue me). My car fails? I take public transportation. We don't have money for books or activities? We go to the library and figure out how to do it on our own. And that's a great gift my parents gave me.

 

This is a GREAT post! Thank you for posting it.

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You've had some great replies. Here are a couple of other free or very low cost ideas I thought of:

 

*Civil Air Patrol. You can find more info about it by searching the board, but it provides many free activities for tween/teen kids.

 

*4 - H: Someone else mentioned this, but this is hands-down one of the least expensive source of activities for a family. I think it's $15/family for the year and there are all sorts of clubs -- public speaking, raising animals, sewing, and lots more. Contact your local county extension office.

 

*Sports -- volleyball: invest in a net and ball and your kids will have the time of their lives Also tennis: you can pick up used raquets at a thrift store and play on free park courts. Basketball: lots of free park courts and we have several area churches that hold open community hours.

 

Also, I would lay your desire before the Lord. Ask Him to either take the desire away or provide some way for you to meet this want for your kids. He is so faithful. This year, I lamented that my kids were growing up without music lessons (we do have dd in piano, but couldn't afford that for all of them). It was half lament, half prayer. :) That very week, our retired neighbor offered to give my boys free banjo lessons. He's given them heirloom banjos and meets with them for several hours every week. Our neighbor loves passing on his love for the banjo to a younger generation. I don't even have to drive to the lessons; I get to stay home and cook and let my littles take naps . . . it's all good.

 

Hope some of this helps,

Lisa

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I don't believe that we should be doing extras, especially things that are not educational, when we have bills that will go unpaid or that will have to be charged to credit cards. We just don't do that here. And so we scrimp for things that count even down to budgeting for gas money. It's not that we always stay home, but that we're very selective.

 

And yes, like FloridaLisa, we pray about every activity, and in some cases we've found ways to do things that I thought we'd never be able to afford. There's a lot we can't afford, but we do more than I expected with what we've been given.

Edited by GVA
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Some brass tacks:

 

It looks like you have a large family. That helps to make any outing a social sort of field trip. I don't know where you live but are there free things in your area you could take advantage of? Could you go to a park and invite friends for a free spring time "field day"? You could organize all sorts of games and let the olders help run the events for the youngers, while parents run the events for the olders.

 

Or could you organize a weekly "park day" for yourself and friends and go to a different park each week? Do your parks offer any free or very low cost programming you could take advantage of?

 

You could get books out of the library for how to play sports (if you don't already know the rules and how to play) and then make up your own sports activities with your kids. For instance, I have a copy of My Soccer Book by Gail Gibbons , which outlines the rules of soccer in a child-friendly format. You could then buy a soccer ball, take your children to the park and play! Gail Gibbons also wrote My Baseball Book. There are kids books for tennis (we have one published by DK written by Venus and Serena Williams).

 

Another thought: Since you already do a lot of hiking, you should probably get some field guides about the trees, flowers, birds, butterflies, rocks, etc. of your local area. Your kids can become experts of the local habitat!

 

Could you put on your own play (or do it with friends)? You could perform it out of doors, in a park. We have Shakespeare in the park here during the summer, for instance. If any of you play music (or sing) you could also do a concert in the park. There are tons of free plays available online (of all lengths).

 

I am trying this idea this summer. I bought a copy of an American Girl script online (my daughter is very into American Girl right now) and trying to organize a neighborhood/friends play. I also just finished reading to this daughter (she's 9) the book Putting on a Play: Drama Activities for Kids by Paul DuBois Jacobs, Jennifer Swender, and Debra Dixon, which has many different ideas for plays. The last chapter got us riled up into putting on a play for July 4th! The books by Lisa Bany-Winters have some scripts that you could perform as a family (and many libraries have her drama books: Show Time and On Stage).

 

Do your children play any instruments? If not and if you want them to learn, perhaps you could barter services you have to offer for lessons. If the olders take lessons, perhaps they could then teach the youngers.

 

Many music teachers need babysitters for their own children while they teach classes. If you or one of your children can babysit her (and it's usually is a woman) children at least one day a week, you may be able to get free lessons.

 

Also, as someone else wrote on this forum, there's always the recorder. A good plastic one is under $10 (so you can outfit your whole family for under $100!), you can start with easy music and go on to music that was written by the classical masters like Vivaldi, for instance, if you so choose. Oak Meadow has a pretty easy-to-use recorder curriculum that is not too expensive, and you do not need to buy the rest of their curriculum to use it. If you have a music store near you, you can find other recorder self-teaching resources. I just bought Progressive Recorder Method for Young Beginners Book I By Andrew Scott, Gary Turner, Stewart James (ISBN: 094718337X), which is a little pricy because it's from Australia, but does have a CD and is very colorful.

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