How do you handle dawdlers?

[WriterGirl]

My dd6 is doing Singapore 2A, and I'm following the HS manual schedule with some modifications. Basically, though, I plan to do an exercise each day.

 

She gets this stuff and when she's not weaving a pencil through a napkin or drawing stars around the edges of her WB, she can get the answers quickly. But dawdle she does ...

 

I've been having us work until the work is done, and then I explainto her why she can't go outside to play with her sister later ("If we'd finished math faster ..."). It's not just math, either. She can dawdle on her SWA page and the Getty-Dubay handwriting pages. This is a kid who can forget she went to her room to get socks.

 

How would y'all handle it?

[WriterGirl]

I have to have him religiously on a timer

 

I do the timer, but only with mixed results. Today, for example, she had 9 problems to do. I set the timer for 18 minutes, which I thought was pretty generous! I'm standing about 5 feet away unloading the dishwasher, and she's working, then telling her sister something, then scribbling, then pointing at the cat, then telling her sister something, etc. (I decide not to intervene ... maybe this will be an object lesson. Haha, in my dreams.)

 

The timer goes off.

 

"Have you finished?"

 

(Big, puppy dog eyes): No, Mommy! But I promise I didn't get distracted!!!

 

At which point, I pointed out how she clearly did get distracted.

 

Ended up giving her more time and sitting RIGHT BESIDE her.

 

It may be that RIGHT BESIDE her is my answer. But in past experience if I do that, then she says she needs help (which, actually, she doesn't.) And, selfishly, I don't want to. I want to empty the dishwasher or read Curious George to her little sister.

 

Maybe it's genetic. I'm supposed to be working Right Now. Yet look where I am ....

[WriterGirl]

nt

[Amy in Orlando]

I'm an "OLD MOM" and I'm old and can't keep my fingers still. She's SIX. What did you do when you were six. I don't remember much, but I do remember having a tantrum over the fact that the bread bags my mom was putting under my boots didn't match. Beyond that ... not much.

 

She's already well ahead of her age in Singapore. So you know she's a bright girl. What's the rush? Why not cut math down to 15 mintues - even if you just go back to review.

 

I DO understand, I have very bright kids. But what do you hope to accomplish over the next 10 years? Where is the advantage to her being in fourth grade math as a 7 year-old? It's one thing if she were pushing you to do more, but, clearly she wants to play. Do a quick lesson/review and let her play.

 

Listen to and OLD MOM - you won't get this fun time back. Lighten up - do something fun. She'll still be exceptionally bright and will catch up when the rest of her body and mind catches up with her brain. Make cookies, go to the zoo, build a fort from couch cushions, or just hang out in your pj's and read a fun book (not an advanced book, just a goofy book).

[melissel]

I do the timer, but only with mixed results. Today, for example, she had 9 problems to do. I set the timer for 18 minutes, which I thought was pretty generous! I'm standing about 5 feet away unloading the dishwasher, and she's working, then telling her sister something, then scribbling, then pointing at the cat, then telling her sister something, etc. (I decide not to intervene ... maybe this will be an object lesson. Haha, in my dreams.)

 

The timer goes off.

 

"Have you finished?"

 

(Big, puppy dog eyes): No, Mommy! But I promise I didn't get distracted!!!

 

At which point, I pointed out how she clearly did get distracted.

 

Ended up giving her more time and sitting RIGHT BESIDE her.

 

It may be that RIGHT BESIDE her is my answer. But in past experience if I do that, then she says she needs help (which, actually, she doesn't.) And, selfishly, I don't want to. I want to empty the dishwasher or read Curious George to her little sister.

 

Maybe it's genetic. I'm supposed to be working Right Now. Yet look where I am ....

 

I think you hit the nail on the head. I'm forever trying to get my DD5 to do things on her own, but the fact is that she needs me to be right on top of her. I simply can't be doing anything else, or she wanders off track. The other day I let her go to her room to color in six small squares containing pictures of land forms. Two hours later...

 

I think 5/6 is just too young to expect them to have developed self-maintaining work habits. Heck, 33 seems to be too young. As you said, I'm supposed to be working, and where am I? (I was, literally, in the middle of a project. I don't even remember when I clicked over to Firefox--just found myself here!) So yeah, I think the key is proximity.

 

Also, is the work too easy for her? I find I have a much harder time with distraction when the page is too easy.

[melissel]

I'm an "OLD MOM" and I'm old and can't keep my fingers still. She's SIX. What did you do when you were six. I don't remember much, but I do remember having a tantrum over the fact that the bread bags my mom was putting under my boots didn't match. Beyond that ... not much.

 

She's already well ahead of her age in Singapore. So you know she's a bright girl. What's the rush? Why not cut math down to 15 mintues - even if you just go back to review.

 

I DO understand, I have very bright kids. But what do you hope to accomplish over the next 10 years? Where is the advantage to her being in fourth grade math as a 7 year-old? It's one thing if she were pushing you to do more, but, clearly she wants to play. Do a quick lesson/review and let her play.

 

Listen to and OLD MOM - you won't get this fun time back. Lighten up - do something fun. She'll still be exceptionally bright and will catch up when the rest of her body and mind catches up with her brain. Make cookies, go to the zoo, build a fort from couch cushions, or just hang out in your pj's and read a fun book (not an advanced book, just a goofy book).

 

Also great advice!

[WriterGirl]

IIt's one thing if she were pushing you to do more, but, clearly she wants to play. .... Make cookies, go to the zoo, build a fort from couch cushions, or just hang out in your pj's and read a fun book (not an advanced book, just a goofy book).

 

I guess my post does come off sounding like all we do is sit at the table and do academics, but I assure you that's not the case. Today, we built a fort, went to the library, had the Amazing Parade of the Superhero Stuffed Animals, and the girls played a game they made up that had something to do with the couch cushions and the colored counting bears, after which they both got into her Christmas present make-up kit and turned themselves glittery purple. She also lounged on the floor reading and watched Curious George on PBS. We're not lacking for play time/kid time.

 

But the fact is that she does ask for it. She begs to do math and latin and spelling. But then she dawdles. And if I cut it short, she gets irritated because she wants to finish it (and usually wants to do more -- or so she says, but with the dawdle factor, we'd be doing workbooks all day).

 

At the same time, I do think you're right, and perhaps I need to just recognize that the desire is there, the physical ability isn't, and just start out with shorter lessons so she still gets what she (thinks she) wants.

[Amy in Orlando]

At the same time, I do think you're right, and perhaps I need to just recognize that the desire is there, the physical ability isn't, and just start out with shorter lessons so she still gets what she (thinks she) wants.

 

Based on my own experiences (my own kids' ages below) this is the tack I'd take for a while.

[WriterGirl]

I think you hit the nail on the head. ...

 

Also, is the work too easy for her? I find I have a much harder time with distraction when the page is too easy.

 

 

I think proximity probably really is key, but you may be right about the work. I hadn't thought of that. Thanks!

[WriterGirl]

Based on my own experiences (my own kids' ages below) this is the tack I'd take for a while.

 

Thanks Amy (and everyone!). I'll start with a new plan in the morning!

[melissel]

I think proximity probably really is key, but you may be right about the work. I hadn't thought of that. Thanks!

 

Oh, and one other thing to consider--maybe she'd do better with something more hands-on? Especially with math--we use Right Start, and my DD loves it, and zips right through the lessons. She often enjoyed doing Singapore pages too, but they were more of an occasional, let's-see-if-I-can-do-it kind of thing, rather than the everyday math.

[DIY-DY]

We're not lacking for play time/kid time.

 

But the fact is that she does ask for it. She begs to do math and latin and spelling. But then she dawdles. And if I cut it short, she gets irritated because she wants to finish it (and usually wants to do more -- or so she says, but with the dawdle factor, we'd be doing workbooks all day).

 

At the same time, I do think you're right, and perhaps I need to just recognize that the desire is there, the physical ability isn't, and just start out with shorter lessons so she still gets what she (thinks she) wants.

 

Yes, proximity is integral at that age. (And the next. And for a little while, still.)

 

What about letting her go at it on her own? When she wants to do more, let her do more. NO timer. NO expectations. Do what you feel needs to get done, then move on, using the shorter lessons. If she says she wants to do more of something, put it in a "to do more of" stack, and tell her she can have at it at any point in the day. That might be just the trick, for both of you.

 

My oldest three will all drag out things to work on when it's not even school time. So I've taken to keeping things to do on hand. Things they enjoy, show an interest in, etc. (workbooks, activity pads, vocabulary games, whatever works). They love it.

 

My eldest is 9 now. That child gets distracted in the blink of an eye during lesson time. But when he's doing his own thing, he's wired into it and gets more out of it than I could offer in a week's worth of cajoling, timing, and imploring. So we compromise, and that helps. At least with my sanity, and his spirit. ;)

 

Maybe something in that line might help with you guys, too?