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Anyone else have a dc that doesn't want/like to be homeschooled?


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I have 4 kiddos. My oldest is now 13yo in 7th grade and still doesn't like the fact that we homeschool her. We have been homeschooling since she was in 2nd grade. She is very social so this year I have put her in a few homeschool classes to help her a bit. I was just wondering if anyone else deals with this....

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She announced she wouldn't homeschool.

 

And I listened to her. I would hate to homeschool someone who didn't want to be homeschooled.

 

When I put all my kids in school last year I was happily surprised with all they did learn. It was a great experience for them. Two are coming back home in the next few weeks and they are happy about that, as well. They liked going to school and now they're ready for homeschooling again.

 

I think each family has to make their own choices, but at this point I'm not attached to homeschooling. I give my kids options and let them choose.

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I have 4 kiddos. My oldest is now 13yo in 7th grade and still doesn't like the fact that we homeschool her. We have been homeschooling since she was in 2nd grade. She is very social so this year I have put her in a few homeschool classes to help her a bit. I was just wondering if anyone else deals with this....

 

It's my belief that how a child is educated is a parental decision. Yes, get feedback from the child, but understand that the child's brain isn't even fully mature - and the teen years entail a lot of neural development and upheaval. How can she make a mature decision regarding her own education?

 

It's good that she is in a few classes. You may decide down the road that homeschooling is not something you want to do any longer - but it's your decision, not that of a child. As an adult who knows the child, you can properly assess what is best for her, and your family.

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I homeschooled my oldest from 7th-12th. The younger one has never wanted to be homeschooled and didn't care if I spent all day with the older one. He happily waved goodbye when he got on the school bus.

 

There was one year where he did consider it and came very close to saying he wanted to stay home. The teacher was the problem, one of those who dislikes boys and find finds fault in everything they do (even if they get 100%).

 

He does know it is an option if school ever becomes a problem. He is very social and I think it would be a disservice to him to force him to stay home. But, the homeschooler in me afterschools.

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One of our kiddos is very social and loves to be the center of the universe--and her teachers have always accomodated her desires! It was difficult for her to accept staying home when her friends are in school.

 

It is a family decision. I took each child's wishes into consideration, but opted for the ultimate VETO regarding her preference. Someday she may return to traditional school, but for now I have goals which will only be achieved if all the children are home with me.

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Or I should say "are dealing" with this. My oldest son (15) after becoming part of an extracurricular activity at the local ps decided that I had done him a huge disservice by not enrolling him in public school. Afterall, the kids that he was hanging out with said so, so it must be true, right?

 

Fast forward a couple of months...We have compromised with a couple of classes (World History & PE) at the local ps, but the majority of his schoolwork is still "homeschooled." He readily admits that if we were in a larger community where there were more homeschoolers (it's really frowned upon here in this small community) that it wouldn't be an issue. Honestly, I think that bothers me more than anything else...that he wants to do it just to fit in.

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Did I write this and forget it? Seriously, you are describing my 7th grade DD, who has been homeschooled since 2nd grade. She is the oldest of 5 though, so I guess I didn't write the original thread.

 

She has done a wide gamut of homeschool activities and classes, but she doesn't care for most of them, because they are run by homeschool moms. In general, she doesn't care for homeschool moms. She also doesn't want to do things with other homeschool kids and becomes friends with them, because "they like homeschooling, I don't. How can we be friends."

 

This child has plenty of other friends. We even let her go to public school for 1/2 of 5th grade hoping that she would see it wasn't as great as she remembered from 1st grade. It didn't work. She is a teacher pet and loved it. She still wants to go back and brings it up whenever the conversation warrants it.

 

I know in the younger forums the frequent answer to the question of whether or not to homeschool is that it is ultimately the parent's decision. But, does that work for high schoolers? I plan to post a message on the HS board at some point asking if you can homeschool high school with a child, who doesn't want to be homeschooled.

 

LC

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I did until this year, when my oldest son returned to a private school. My situation sounds almost exactly like yours. It didn't matter how many hs opportunities I tried to arrange for him. He wanted to be surrounded by hundreds of other people his own age every day. That's the only way he could be happy, so I finally compromised on what I wanted for him academically in order for him to have that. The good news is that he recognized within the first couple of months that I was right about all the things I told him about what this change would mean for him. He now at least listens to me more, LOL (wonder how long that will last)....

 

Regena

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My 15 yo dd does not want to be home. But, she is the reason we began homeschooling in the first place back when she was in second grade. She begged to be allowed to go back to school in 7th. We allowed her to start 8th in a small private school. (I will not allow her in the public system here under any circumstances.) It was absolutely horrific. She loved it. I made it 5 weeks. She was devastated and relieved when I forced her to come back home. She doesn't want to be home, but she knows that it is her only option at this point. She will finish high school at home. She may take courses at the local junior college in a year or so.

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LOL!! None of my kids ever want to go to school. WE made the decision to send our 15 yos. He was very reluctant to go. This past weekend he was laying on thick about how we were ruining his life. He has been there 2 days and absolutely loves it.

 

It really is a decision that needs to factor in the whole child, not education in isolation. Our ds is extremely intelligent and was drawing further and further into himself. No matter what outsourced classes I enrolled him in, he was always bored. The lack of challenge left him at odds with himself b/c he tends to OCD and depression. He also never met boys that had the same interests as him. It was impacting his self-esteem dramatically.

 

The main reason my dh accepted his new job that is causing us to relocate is our ds. The school he is attending is an all boys school (day school only, not boardign) He has already met a couple of boys that are into his main hobbies.

 

I don't think there is a simple correct answer that covers all situations. It really is a decision that needs to be approached prayerfully and from all perspectives. I also disagree with some of the posts. 15 is only 3 yrs from adulthood. It is a time to start seriously considering future self-sustainability and responsibility for decisions. If a child presents a solid, well thought out argument in favor of a different educational option, I would listen to its merit. It doesn't have to be a permanent decision. It can be given a specific trial period to see if both sides are having expectations met.....yours as the parent, and hers as the child that is approaching adulthood.

 

****************edit...............oops, I thought I remembered 15 and just saw it was 13. Don't have time to go back and change my thoughts. I have to finish getting ready b/c movers arrive tomorrow at 8. My thoughts are still along the gist of what I posted. 13 is more borderline than 15, but I would still consider it. :)

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I have a 9th grader that would LOVE to go to school. However, I know that she just wants a social outlet, and I'm not willing to change the family dynamic to give her that. I run crazy to allow these kids to participate in social events so I don't feel much sympathy. I just tell her that we are the parents, and we make the call. I think allowing some extra socialization is enough - they just don't have that much time to "chat" at school...

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