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My dear brother has an autistic child and they are having a hard time teaching him to obey. Even the simplest things, because of his focus on repetitive behavior, are becoming difficult to deal with. He is four. Do you have any proactive resource ideas that I can recommend to him? It was very hard to watch their frustration mount as we spent time together recently. I can tell that my brother does not know what to do and he was open to hearing from me.

 

I would really appreciate anything anyone has to share.

 

Thank you!

Kate

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I know several children with autism. The moms are really inspiring.

 

The difficulty with obedience is partly the repetitive behavior, and partly the fact that autistic people tend not to be able to generalize. So if you tell them not to touch a particular electric outlet, for instance, they won't touch THAT outlet with THAT outfit on during THAT part of the day with THAT parent watching, but any variation on any of the 'THATs' might mean that they don't think that the injunction applies.

 

The most helpful thing that parents have found is to join a local support group. If your brother is in the South Bay area or near Santa Cruz, Parents Helping Parents is excellent. (http://www.PHP.com) If not, he should be able to search on the internet to find a good group. From what I have heard, it is better to be in a group that is NOT sponsored or attended by professionals from a hospital or school district, to get the most candid input and experience from the other parents.

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From what I have heard, it is better to be in a group that is NOT sponsored or attended by professionals from a hospital or school district, to get the most candid input and experience from the other parents.

 

Thank you, Carol! I really appreciate that. I know they are in the school system at this point, but I also know they are open to a lot of different things. Thanks so much.

 

Warmly,

Kate

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Try the special needs board.

 

Well, I almost did, but then I realized that not everyone goes there so that is why I posted here. :)

 

We are 100% in support of my precious nephew. I am just trying to offer some concrete help. I love them so much.

 

Warmly,

Kate

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My youngest child has autism and there are several things that have really worked with her.

 

1 - Routine -- routine is very important with an autistic child. Try to set up a routine / schedule every day and stick to it. This helps them to feel safe and secure

 

2 - Pictures -- this works well along with the routine. My dd has pictures for everything (getting dressed, washing hands, painting time at her easel, etc.) I could go on and on as we have a lot of pictures!! This is very helpful as her expressive vocabulary is fairly limited.

 

3 - Consistency -- stop negative behaviors the first time and every time.

 

4 - Consequences -- "If you don't wear your coat, you can't go outside." "If you don't take off your shoes at the indoor playpark, you can't play there." These are very important.

 

5 - Choose your battles! My dd, for instance, hates to wear clothes! So, at home, I allow her to just run around in a pull-up, but she knows that she has to wear clothes when she's not at home.

 

6 - Allow appropriate sensory indulgences -- My dd likes to play in water, so we let her take a shower 2 or 3 times a day, so that she can play in the water -- therefore, she's not playing in the dog's water bowl, filling up my sink, splashing in puddles outside, etc.

 

I hope this helps!!

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I agree with hsmamainva. We do allow some stims but we are careful to keep an eye on our dd when we try to eliminate a stim (a bad one) because it usually brings on something much worse.

 

We always have told her what we are doing that day. If we are going somewhere we always tell her ahead of time in what order and where we are going and how. Now there are times when we goofed up and she would be upset. That is ok...

 

Consistency is the BIG key. Timeouts do not work at all. Consequences do work very well. Reward system works well only if it is geared to them not somebody else. They need something very concrete in order for it to work. It also has to be very immediate! Not something that is at the end of the week. They do not see past the day of current day.

 

 

Build their strengths and keep it up as well as trying to work on their weakness.

 

Holly

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Kate,

For a lot of kids diet is a huge aspect. There is an amazing yahoo group that had 800 parents 7 years ago when I needed them, and now there are over 12,000! A lot of kids benefit. Not only do they discuss diet, but the whole host of other biomedical issues that autistic kids are prone to. It's http://groups.yahoo.com/ and the name of the group is gfcfkids. For us it was a life saver. I wouldn't have gotten to meet my son if it weren't for them.

--Dawn

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Four was the hardest age for my boys. They DO get easier as they get older. For us, the best help we got was Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA). It's extremely expensive and most states don't mandate that your insurance cover it, but it is the only scientifically proven treatment for autism. Look for Catherine Maurice's books to get an overview of ABA.

 

If you can, babysit your dn every once in a while. We went pretty stir crazy until we found reliable babysitters who could handle 2 autistic kids at a time. Getting out for some me time helped our mental health immensely.

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For us, the best help we got was Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA). It's extremely expensive and most states don't mandate that your insurance cover it, but it is the only scientifically proven treatment for autism. Look for Catherine Maurice's books to get an overview of ABA.

 

 

I second this if you can afford it. My nephew has made great strides with this treatment. Even though he is now in the school system (age 3), db and sil are paying for it out of pocket, it is that good. The advice they got was instead of saving money for his college education, spend that money now since it will make a bigger difference in the long run.

 

Hope this helps.

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