What do you think the average 3yr old should know?

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Young 3 year old that is....as in just turned 3.

 

Colors? Numbers? Shapes? Letters?

 

What should they be able to do? What do you expect of them? What strategies do you use to get them there?

[Mrs Mungo]

Young 3 year old that is....as in just turned 3.

 

Colors? Numbers? Shapes? Letters?

 

What should they be able to do? What do you expect of them? What strategies do you use to get them there?

 

I never used any specific "strategies" to teach colors, shapes, etc. I just talk to my kids and do things with them.

 

We need two eggs-one, two.

 

Let's put on your red shirt.

 

Let's make a sphere out of the play-dough.

 

Put together puzzles, string beads, sort colored noodles, sing songs with finger-games, cut pictures out of magazines, read *lots* of books. These are the things that will help them develop the skills they will need when they are ready for academics.

Edited February 25, 2010 by Mrs Mungo

[BakersDozen]

I never used any specific "strategies" to teach colors, shapes, etc. I just talk to my kids and do things with them.

:iagree: Just going through our day gives many opportunities to learn all the basics. I have a LOT of books that focus on a certain color/shape, etc. that we love to read together.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I am a firm supporter of the idea that all children develop differently, but I also have a hard time knowing what is behind or ahead, because my oldest has ALWAYS been WAY ahead (reading sight words at 3yr, etc.).

 

My just turned 3yr old is unable to count beyond 2 regardless of the incessant counting we do, does pretty well with colors, knows basic shapes (circle, square, triangle), but is unable to sing any standard preschool songs (Twinkle Twinkle, Itsy Bitsy Spider, etc) - again regardless of the fact that we sing them all the time.

 

I know there really is no standard at this age, but I was just curious as to generally what you "expect" of a 3yr old.

[BakersDozen]

My just turned 3yr old is unable to count beyond 2 regardless of the incessant counting we do, does pretty well with colors, knows basic shapes (circle, square, triangle), but is unable to sing any standard preschool songs (Twinkle Twinkle, Itsy Bitsy Spider, etc) - again regardless of the fact that we sing them all the time.

 

OK, I understand your ? more now. I've never thought about specific guidelines or what to "expect" so hopefully someone can be more helpful than I have been. :)

[kmacnchs]

I think a 3 yo should: obey right away and with a happy heart, begin to do some daily chores (with help and instruction right now)...that's all I can come up with right now. How to achieve that? Obedience - work on it everyday since 9 or 12mo (dep. on child) Chores - work on it everyday when you feel they are ready.

 

As far as "school" type things, I'm not sure I have an opinion about what a 3yo "should" know.

 

If you want your 3yo to know certain school things, you could work with them (starting w/5 min and work up from there) everyday by doing ABC, #, color, and shapes puzzles, by sorting, by reading, by singing, etc. but every child is different. My oldest is 3 but I don't expect my 2nd or 3rd to be able to do what the oldest does when they are three - I do expect them to obey and help around the house though (well, start to learn how to...)

[Pretty in Pink]

I'm not sure I expect them to know much of anything academically. I've never really thought about it. As long as three is on track developmentally, I'm perfectly happy to fill his day with age-appropriate play, trips to the park, storytime, playdates, lots of good books, etc.

 

My 4yo is still mastering shapes and lower-case letters.

[Ginevra]

The book "What to Expect The Toddler Years" would be a guideline you could consult. If you are concerned about the child not knowing the songs you have sung, I would ask the pediatrician.

 

I think it's a common occurrence to have a very precocious firstborn that makes a subsequent child seem "behind" when really they are just "typical". :)

[cougarmom4]

I typically expect a 3 year old to know:

shapes

colors

ABC letters (names)

numbers (counting to 10)

animals & their sounds

members of a family

directional words (up, down, in, out, top, bottom...)

size words (big, small, tall, short, fat, thin...)

 

Of course, every child is different...but in our family, our kids have known these things as 3 year olds. Some as 2 year olds...but definitely before they are four.

 

I don't follow a specific plan to teach them these things--as others have mentioned, most of them do happen naturally as we go about family life. I do make it a point to work on some of them occasionally--such as playing with the counting bears & sorting them by color together; lining them up in colors; counting how many. I'll take the bears and a box and talk about where they are--is the blue bear on top of the box? No, it is next to the box, etc. I do lots of fun activities with the letters as soon as my kids are interested in them.

 

Also I make sure to read lots of picture books and talk about everything with them...lots of word books and abc books. I've recently purchased the "What Your Preschooler Needs to Know" book and find it to be a fabulous resource. I love that it has stories & songs that are perfect for this age--all together and ready for read-alouds. You might take a glance at that and see what they have for suggestions.

[Mrs Mungo]

I am a firm supporter of the idea that all children develop differently, but I also have a hard time knowing what is behind or ahead, because my oldest has ALWAYS been WAY ahead (reading sight words at 3yr, etc.).

 

My just turned 3yr old is unable to count beyond 2 regardless of the incessant counting we do, does pretty well with colors, knows basic shapes (circle, square, triangle), but is unable to sing any standard preschool songs (Twinkle Twinkle, Itsy Bitsy Spider, etc) - again regardless of the fact that we sing them all the time.

 

I know there really is no standard at this age, but I was just curious as to generally what you "expect" of a 3yr old.

 

I know the feeling. My eldest has always been WAY ahead in nearly everything. My other two were ahead in some things but average in others.

 

Here are some developmental pages that may give a better idea on what is expected/typical:

 

http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/articledetail.cfm?id=321

 

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/child/preschoolers.htm

 

http://www.babycenter.com/0_early-warning-signs-of-a-learning-disability_65007.bc

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Truthfully, I don't really think she's too far behind, but it DOES bother me that she can't even count to 5. I'd like to see her be able to count to 5 and sing at least one preschool song. I'm comfortable with where she's at with shapes and colors, and don't really expect her to be able to sing the ABC song yet (though I know many 3yr olds that can).

 

She does go to preschool 2 mornings a week, and I know they're working on that stuff there too, but.....

[Mrs Mungo]

I typically expect a 3 year old to know:

ABC letters (names)

 

Many people purposefully do not teach their kids the names of the letters before teaching letter sounds. This is definitely one of those things that varies according to what school of thought you follow. Not a criticism, just pointing out a difference. :)

[cougarmom4]

Many people purposefully do not teach their kids the names of the letters before teaching letter sounds. This is definitely one of those things that varies according to what school of thought you follow. Not a criticism, just pointing out a difference. :)

 

Sure, we're going to have differing opinions...but the OP asked what I thought a 3 year old should know...and so I responded. :)

[Mrs Mungo]

Sure, we're going to have differing opinions...but the OP asked what I thought a 3 year old should know...and so I responded. :)

 

Which is fine. I was just pointing out that not everyone believes teaching letter names before sounds is a good idea. If she's looking for what people typically teach and when, then it's good to know that some people intentionally don't teach certain things. It's not just...I don't know...parental laziness or something. :p

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I also think there is a difference between what skills you feel would make them "behind" or "ahead" and what you feel they should be capable of.

 

For instance, I don't think the fact that DD can't sing the ABC song means she is "behind", but I do think she should be able to do it. I don't think she is "behind" (at least as far as getting concerned goes) by not being able to count, but DO feel she *should* be able to count to 10.

[cougarmom4]

Truthfully, I don't really think she's too far behind, but it DOES bother me that she can't even count to 5. I'd like to see her be able to count to 5 and sing at least one preschool song. I'm comfortable with where she's at with shapes and colors, and don't really expect her to be able to sing the ABC song yet (though I know many 3yr olds that can).

 

She does go to preschool 2 mornings a week, and I know they're working on that stuff there too, but.....

 

It will come. My 2 1/2 year old counts 1-2-3 for everything...no matter how many there are. :)

 

As you specifically asked for ideas, I'd say to continue to count out things in a fun way...you could try a number of the day (1-5) and play with that number all day: paint a huge number 3, read the 3 Little Pigs, count goldfish into piles of 3, go on a '3' Hunt with a magnifying glass try to find the numeral three in books or boxes of cereal, come up with a rhyme for that number (1-2-3, I see me! while looking in a mirror), etc. Write several numerals on the driveway with chalk & have her jump on the one you call out. For my kids, it has helped to count to a scale of music notes...

 

As for preschool songs--if it's important to you that she learn to sing one, try to take it apart and learn a little at a time. Just one phrase--sing it several times a day...sing part of the phrase and let her sing the last word.

Edited February 25, 2010 by cougarmom4

[Mrs Mungo]

I also think there is a difference between what skills you feel would make them "behind" or "ahead" and what you feel they should be capable of.

 

For instance, I don't think the fact that DD can't sing the ABC song means she is "behind", but I do think she should be able to do it. I don't think she is "behind" (at least as far as getting concerned goes) by not being able to count, but DO feel she *should* be able to count to 10.

 

I guess I'm not sure what you're saying. If exposed often enough to the information, kids will learn it when it is developmentally appropriate *for them* (not for some other child). I wouldn't worry about it unless they are not hitting developmental milestones. There are lots of good books out there on child development and early learning. See what Montessori books your library has. Reading a bit more about child development might put your mind at ease.

[Mrs Mungo]

As for preschool songs--if it's important to you that she learn to sing one, try to take it apart and learn a little at a time. Just one phrase--sing it several times a day...sing part of the phrase and let her sing the last word.

 

:iagree: Using fingerplays with the songs helps a lot too, ime.

[cougarmom4]

I also think there is a difference between what skills you feel would make them "behind" or "ahead" and what you feel they should be capable of.

 

For instance, I don't think the fact that DD can't sing the ABC song means she is "behind", but I do think she should be able to do it. I don't think she is "behind" (at least as far as getting concerned goes) by not being able to count, but DO feel she *should* be able to count to 10.

 

Just noticed you are from eastern Iowa...we lived in Iowa City for about 8 1/2 years and loved it there! :001_smile: Pretty country...

[kmacnchs]

I also think there is a difference between what skills you feel would make them "behind" or "ahead" and what you feel they should be capable of.

 

For instance, I don't think the fact that DD can't sing the ABC song means she is "behind", but I do think she should be able to do it. I don't think she is "behind" (at least as far as getting concerned goes) by not being able to count, but DO feel she *should* be able to count to 10.

 

Okay, I guess then I do feel my dd2 *should* know some colors and shapes by the time she is 3 but similar to your dd, we work on them daily and she still only knows blue (and that's ONLY when we are picking blueberries and she knows which ones can be picked and eaten!). Along those same lines, I think she should be able to count to 20, and should be reading bob books - but that is her - I have NO CLUE what "normal" is...sorry I couldn't be more help...

 

but I do stick to my 1.obeying and 2. starting daily chores for every 3 yo

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Just wanted to throw out there that I'm totally not out to create a debate or saying that I'm overly concerned. Just a curious question, and thought it might make an interesting topic for conversation and ideas :)

[MelanieM]

Well, it sounds like your two are duplicates of my oldest two! My daughter was speaking in complete (clear) sentences at 15 mos, knew shapes and colours (even obscure ones) and the alphabet by 18 mo, could read random words and write her name by two, memorized our address and phone number before she was 3 (and not because we went over it a lot, but just because hearing something a couple times was enough), recited favourite rhymes by the dozens... and on it goes. She was (and is) most certainly the type of child that does well with more academic areas of knowledge.

 

My son, on the other hand, is still getting solid with his letters (he's 4.75 yrs now), can barely draw a straight line, can't remember the words to a song to save his life, and is just now getting consistant about spelling his first name correctly. However, he can go on and on for ages about some imaginary world he's invented, will build and play and create by himself for hours, is very empathic, will randomly talk about things like what happens to people after they die and where they come from before they're born, easily remembers any Star Wars tidbit of information thrown at him, and has apparently developed a recent love of Gilgamesh. He is an entirely different child than my first, to the point where they're almost opposite in all things! (Except a love of numbers and math... they both seem to share that!)

 

So, it appears children are all just very different! (Who woulda thunk it? lol!) Knowing that, I no longer have any expectations around what a child *should know at a certain age. I figure they get it when they're meant to get it, and I will enjoy watching them grow and discover at their own perfect pace.

[Rosie_0801]

My daughter is heading towards three and most of my expectations of her come from her priorities. I expect her to be able to climb anything in sight because she is a climbing sort of girl. I expect her to be obedient more often than not.

 

I think she should be talking in at least three word sentences, but she isn't. I think she should have a fairly good handle on rote counting, but she doesn't. I think she should be interested in learning colours and shapes, but she's not. I think she should be able to do more than the simplest puzzles, but she only started doing that yesterday. I think she should sit and listen to me reading stories, but I've got to catch her at the right time for that! My mother thinks she should want to learn kiddie songs, but we all prefer the Sound of Music :D

 

My girl is not a people pleaser, so the strategies I learned growing up with younger siblings and cousins don't work! I am always trying to brainstorm ways to make her frustrated with her limited language, without actually being mean, but 99% of the time I just have to go with her priorities.

 

Rosie

[Carrie12345]

This probably sounds pathetic, but I don't have any expectations for my (about to be) 3yo. My first three have been all over the place in terms of development/ability, so I just go along my merry way with ds and take delight in whatever he absorbs.

 

Today, he counted his 10 trains properly. He's been able to count for a while now, but I've never seen him do the 1:1. We did a happy dance. :D

 

He counts higher in Spanish than he does in English. That's my big kids' fault. :tongue_smilie: He knows the ABC song (for the most part) and recognizes certain letters. He likes books. And he knows all of the words to "Little Toy Trains", lol.

 

I'm more than satisfied with what he's picking up naturally, and I'm confident that there are no early indications of any sort of "problem", so I don't give much thought to specific learning goals at this time.

 

Next year may be a different story. ;)

[delaney]

Mine(almost 4) doesn't know letters or numbers and just a few shapes....he does however know how to make microwave popcorn and scrambled eggs!

[Mergath]

I'm not an expert, but as mom to a 20 month old who has speech delays due to constant ear infections up to 14 months, I've read quite a bit on child development, just to get a handle on what my daughter should be learning, etc. And what I've learned is to... relax. Children's brains all develop at different rates, and trying to force a child to learn something that their brain isn't ready for can actually harm the brain by causing it to sort of "rewire" parts to do the task. (That's why tv is bad for the little ones- their brains aren't ready yet to process rapid images.)

 

Our society is so obsessed right now with being able to do things better and faster, but encouraging kids to hit milestones earlier and earlier isn't a good thing. (Not referring to anyone specific here, just talking in general.) Also, where a kid is at one or two or three has absolutely no bearing on where they'll end up intellectually when they're adults. I always laugh when I hear people refer to their "gifted" one or two year old, as if knowing the alphabet early is an indication that their kid is destined for the Ivy League. :P

 

As long as your doctor is happy with your child's progress, and you don't instinctively feel that something is really wrong, your child will be fine, and will learn everything when ready. Try not to get too caught up in what kids of a certain age are "supposed" to know, because that's a great way to drive yourself insane.

 

(Also, do you ever feel like some parents look for posts like this in order to have a place to brag about how awesomely advanced their toddlers are? Lmao.)

[myfatherslily]

I like my kiddos to just be learning the next thing. If he can count to 2, I'd start working on 3.

 

I'm learning that there are so many things that will just click when they're ready:) Like with counting. He might not "get" the concept of three for another year or two, then suddenly be able to count to 10 almost overnight!

 

But, in answer to your question, around 3 I like to encourage them to understand counting 2-3 items (neither of mine have known more than that at age 3), to start thinking about the alphabet (DS4 didn't know any of them until just this past month), to work puzzles at whatever level works for them, to start using scissors (we have all-plastic scissors and snipping narrow strips is great practice!).

 

Mostly, though, I just like to do the next thing:)

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Really interesting perspectives.....I've really enjoyed reading them! Thanks!

[Irene Lynn]

Your oldest two are a lot like ours. Our little guy just turned 3 and I am believing he is a smart little guy. LOL He isn't showing too many signs of it yet, but he shore is cute and adorable and a whippersnip. We are all musical, but he can't sing a song yet. He kind of tries, but .... He does seem to remember more things than I realize, because every so often I can tell what all he is trying to say (He is still rather difficult to understand at times.) and he has a lot of details right. He knows a lot of his letters and some of their sounds. He can actually count to three; I am so excited. He plays games such as tag quite well. He knows all sorts of machinery. I think he knows some shapes and he seems to know his colors pretty well. He is a good problem solver, but can't draw a straight line. He is excited about cutting and can now hold the scissors "correctly". He is nowhere near the academic level that his sister was at this age. I do think that he thinks more like I do and I take off more slowly, then keep picking up speed. He spent so much time while he was 18 months - 32 months throwing fits and trying to take over the world, without saying much that anyone could understand. :D I figure that he is doing pretty well considering he hasn't been cooperating with the world around him for very long. I love his strong will and creative mind. (Did I say that he was a good problem solver? Might I add that the problems he solves the best would have been best left unsolved! LOL.) I really love him. He reminds me of me. :)

[swellmomma]

I don't have any expectations of what my 3 yr olds know. I learned early on having a 1st born with delays not to sweat it. Both of my girls were verbal and musical early on. (both talking before 1 year). My current 2.5 yr old loves to sing and not only sings/says all the songs/rhymes/fingerplays I do with her, but also sings along with the radio, recites commercials etc. My boys were both verbally delayed(my 3rd born had a vocab of less than 50 words at 3 years old) and never gave a wit about songs/rhymes etc. Most of the time they still (at 6 & 11) could not sing most of the stuff my 2.5 yr old does. I could worry that they are not meeting expectations or be content in the knowledge that if it is important to them they will do it(like my 11 yr old able to recite dialogue from his favorite movies or video games just like dd does with her songs).

 

I don't worry about specific strategies to teach preschoolers anything beyond reading to them and keeping a running monologue about what I am doing. DD is learning to count to 20 by playing hide and seek, she loves it and it is not me trying to drill it into a toddler. She knows what a star is from watching dora but other than a circle does not know any other shapes. Not a big deal, it will come with time. She loves to cut and is doing quite well with scissors, but coloring is still haphazard scribbles not deliberate lines/circles yet (though she is starting to focus on making dots instead of scribbles).

 

To me from birth to age 3-4 there should be no academic expectations at all on kids. Everything should be learned by simply being involved in the family, being read to etc. Once they are 4 then start working on specific things if you feel it is necessary to be ready for K, but again in a gentle fun way.

Edited February 26, 2010 by swellmomma

[The Governess]

Here are a couple links to developmental milestones checklists for 3 year olds:

 

First link

 

Second link

 

I think at that age, development can vary so greatly depending on the child's interest level and brain development. My dds are extremely different; dd5 was reading at three and dd3 only knows about 1/2 of her letters consistently. Dd3 is in speech classes and it took her a whole year of working on her colors before she could identify them consistently - she just wasn't there yet. Then again, dd3 was riding a tricycle at 2, could jump on two feet at 18 months, learned how to skip a year earlier than dd5 did, etc.

 

I would just keep gently working on the counting and the songs, sometime over the next year it will catch on. But the fact that she's not quite there yet isn't abnormal at all.

[nono]

 

My just turned 3yr old [edit by nono] is unable to sing any standard preschool songs (Twinkle Twinkle, Itsy Bitsy Spider, etc) - again regardless of the fact that we sing them all the time.

 

 

 

Have you considered that your 3 yr old might not like your musical selections or is tired of hearing them? :D I mean, it could just be a taste thing.

 

To answer your original question...I think a 3 yr old should know how not to annoy his mother first thing every morning of her life. I'd much rather he figure that out than know his colors. He just recently turned 3 though, so there's hope! :tongue_smilie:

[6packofun]

Agreed. At that age, my just-turned 3 year olds should know whatever the heck THEY wanna know. My 3yo is almost 4 and he knows many of the preschool-ish things...I didn't "teach" him any of them. He surprised me last week singing the alphabet song and after asking the other 5 kids, realized that *none* of us taught him. LOL

 

It makes me sad to hear about little ones being subjected to "incessant" or "continual" anything school-ish. Ugh, I'd shut it out and not learn, too.

Edited February 26, 2010 by 6packofun
./.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

It makes me sad to hear about little ones being subjected to "incessant" or "continual" anything school-ish. Ugh, I'd shut it out and not learn, too.

 

I think you may have the wrong idea. It's not like I'm doing drills with her repeatedly as it may have sounded, but we make an effort to count EVERYTHING.....she enjoys doing it, but continues to count "1, 2, 14, 16, 14". She loves to play hide and seek, and again comes the counting.

 

She is constantly asking to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" or "Twinkle Twinkle", but would prefer I do it, and chooses to not take any part in it, other than listening.

 

My efforts are all driven by her....no force here :)

[tabrizia]

I really like the PBS kids developmental tracker for seeing where children should be at what age. It is really nice and breaks things down so you can see the different areas of development and what they should be doing. It really helps me a lot when I think DS maybe behind in something.

[Orthodox6]

For a child just turned three, all I expect is that s/he know his/her own name and that of siblings. Know not to touch a hot stove or an electrical outlet. Be starting to talk, with reasonably intelligible pronunciation. Respond to firm, but gentle, remonstrance.

 

"School-ish" things, I did not pay any attention to. We talked a lot with our toddlers, sang to them, played music, read them books (many books, every day). Learning about their personal environment sufficed for "education".

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

Well, my 1st ds knew most of the instruments of the orchestra by the time he was 2. At 3 he still couldn't get his basic colors. My mom was sure he was color blind. But he got them, eventually. I think kids develop on their own schedule. As long as the exposure is there and they seem to be well-adjusted, functional kids, I wouldn't be concerned.

[6packofun]

I don't think you are doing that, but it's obvious that some moms are. :tongue_smilie: I'm sorrry, it was more of a general thought type comment!

[AngelBee]

:grouphug: Each one of mine have been different.

[duckens]

A three year old need to know how much you love them. Every day.

 

As for the rest, there is so much variation at this age, it's too ridiculous to try to track.

 

Quill says:

I think it's a common occurrence to have a very precocious firstborn that makes a subsequent child seem "behind" when really they are just "typical". :)

Loverboy is a 2nd child. Because his older brother did so many things early, his mother thought he (Loverboy) was "slow." Looking back, he was just normal!!! Oh, and he is the only child of the four to achieve a PhD.

 

You really can't tell what a child's path will be at that age.

 

As for dd, at her 2nd birthday, she was still not quite verbalizing the requisite 5 words that children should be saying by age 1! (She did a lot of baby sign language.) We weren't panicked, but we did have her evaluated.

 

She just turned 3yo, her language skills are advanced for a three year old, and she can read over 100 words. *bragging*

 

Let me make it clear that there are other things that she DEFINITELY needs to work on. (Compassion/empathy for others, sharing, fairness).

[Chris in VA]

I worked with 3's for 11 years as a preschool teacher. I can send you our developmental checklist, if you want.

I had to have observational evidence for each item on the list--and make portfolios, too! I was a great teacher, I must say...:D JK. It was a lot of work.

Kids were so varied.

FWIW, I did not expect any of my class kids at barely 3 to know the alphabet, know all the words to a long song like The Alphabet Song (which has no real-life clues and is just a string of meaningless names), know all their colors, shapes, numbers, or count to 10, or know 1:1 correspondance yet.

By the end of the year, tho, they generally knew all of that (except maybe the names of all the letters, b/c we didn't stress that in the classroom), plus they could recognize their names and often the names of their classmates, use words to solve very simple conflicts, express their needs, get their own jackets on and off, attend to self-care like washing hands and pottying, follow a procedure such as cleaning up after their snack or putting away a Montessori rug and activity, pour their own cup of water, choose an activity by themselves, build a block tower and an enclosure, reenact simple tasks in pretend play, understand some of the concepts of print (know a book in America opens on the right and is read right-side up, know we read the words, not the pictures in a book, etc.), and myriad other things.

[MissKNG]

Someone mentioned the PBS Development Tracker - I second that. It's a very detailed resource.