Hazelt"nut" Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I don't know if I've come to the right place or not. I want so badly to keep from labeling my child anything...slow, accelerated, gifted, sensitive...I was labeled gifted at a young age and well it had its ups and downs. But here's my issue...my dd6 ...I feel lost how to help her lately. She is what I call an old soul. SHe feels deeply...joy and sorrow. She carries the burdens of others upon her. She talks to herself ALOT and is now spending much of her time in her room in an imaginary world. She is in Kinder...reading on an upper 2nd early 3rd grade level. She was once an outgoing toddler and is now becoming overly shy..she wants to do things but her fear/shyness something holds her back. She cries alot...not whines or anything like that. She obeys us and hurts more when she does wrong. She cried alot as an infant...colic for sure. She loves history and science and gets bored easily which I think is why she retreats to her imaginiary world. I know this is long and its hard to get a picture from this of who she is. But lately I feel at a loss as to how to relate to her. ..how to help her through hard times. We are a family of four. She is close to me and her Papa..he's a very involved dad. She loves her little brother (3 1/2 ) even though he pesters her alot. The latest thing she told me was that she felt different. She wouldn't expand on this. I am starting to see a divide between her and her friends and girls her age. Not as in arguments but in how they play, what they are interested in . Anyone out there that can give me some advice or wisdom. I am praying about this and wanting so badly to trust God with her. On a spiritual note (not intendeing to offend anyone) God has saved her and she is very keen to spiritual truth ...she's like this moral compass ...anyone? Sheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Anna Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Sheryl, Wow! I really feel for you! I have no experience with a situation like yours, but thought I would throw a couple things out just to get the ball rolling. You've said she loves to read. Could you reach out to her through that? Maybe read together so that you can have something to talk about together? Something for both of you to play with in her imaginary world? Is she into any type of creative art like drawing/poetry/music that might help her express herself? Can you walk with her through some of the things she fears, holding her hand as she steps over the threshold? You've probably already tried all of the above. Like I said, I have no experience in that area - my oldest is the extrovert to end all extroverts, even if she is somewhat socially challenged at times.:D God has given us such exquisite treasures in these little ones who look to us for guidance. Sometimes I have no idea how to best steward their precious souls. But He does. And He'll give you wisdom, direction, and friends for the journey. Remember that He knows her heart - He created her mind with its gifts and weaknesses. He knows what she needs and He specifically gave her, with her strengths, weaknesses, gifts, and needs to *you* as your treasure. Hold strong to Him, Friend! ((Sheryl)) Mama Anna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chai Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Your dd sounds a lot like I was at that age. I'm too old to remember it well (LOL), but I think the best thing that you can do is be open to talk to her about anything. Play her imaginary games with her. I expect that the children her own age aren't wise enough to have the conversations that she is able to have. At the same time, she'll still want to have play time with them. I understand your concern about labels, and yet having a label helps you to find resources that can give you tools and knowledge to be a better parent. I just found out about "highly sensitive children", and your dd sounds like she fits the description. Have you read this Thread? Take a look at this website and do the test for your daughter. Then get The Highly Sensitive Child? out of the library. It has a lot of advice on how to parent this type of child. Take what works and ignore the rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 She sounds like she might be gifted in some areas? I also wonder if she has a rare personality. Are you familiar with Meyer-Briggs? I wonder if she might be INF J or P. That particular personality is a very, very tiny segment of the general population. They tend to be highly, highly empathetic, and commonly feel as though they understand everyone but no one understands them. They also tend to be gifted and highly imaginative. Someone with this personality enjoys learning and learns rapidly. Also because they are so empathetic and perceptive, they are easily exhausted by too much interaction. Other people's hurts affect them deeply. On the one hand they can help people greatly with their empathy--on the other hand, their empathy may drive them to an unhealthy emotional caretaking role. Just some thoughts--you can google to research more. Try searching INFJ or INFP, and try searching the term "counselor-idealist personality type." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazelt"nut" Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 I have read your replies and researched the suggested highly sensitive child and the suggested personality types...well...they both fit her like a glove..and even fit myself which is kinda scary. I am going to pray about this and read up on this. Thank you for your help...somehow I don't feel so alone anymore. Sheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Sheryl- No real suggestions, but we are in the same boat as you... My dd 6 is similar to yours. My dd 6 tries to connect and make friends and she is sociable, but she thinks on a different level and that often leaves her feeling that she is different & unfulfilled. She can make friends, but they don't really want to talk about books she has read on Greek mythology, Huck Finn, the Bible, or the truth of God and His creation... Her interests are quite varied and it is hard for me to keep up with her. She also has a younger sister, just turned 5 yrs, and a younger brother, 2 1/2 yrs old. They also show many signs of being gifted, but my dd6 is really unique and it is harder for her to find the kind of "bosom friend" (if I can borrow a line from one of her favorite books, Anne of Green Gables) that she longs for. If you'd like for your daughter to have a pen pal, let me know and I think mine would be excited to send a letter. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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