Those of you with "slow learners"

[Michelle T]

How do you set your expectations for learning? Do you expect your very slow learner to achieve the same level of academic learning as an average child? Or do you lower your expectations? If so, how do you know what is reasonable, and what subjects must be lowered?

 

For example, if your child struggled in math, and could barely handle learning the basic arithmetic functions, would you still expect that child to go through algebra in high school?

 

Michelle T

[Claire]

My brother fell into the category of "slow learner" when we were growing up. He was often promoted in school just for social reasons.

 

I think that whether you have a fast learner or a slow learner, you have to adjust your expectations to suit the individual child. For any learner, I think that the most valuable trait they can acquire is a work ethic. That ultimately is what usually makes or breaks the person as an adult.

 

In my brother's case, algebra was never a subject that he would be able to succeed in. It was also really unnecessary for him for the type of adult life he has lived. What *was* useful to him was basic reading, writing, and arithmetic. He found his niche in life with hard work and persistence.

 

The fact is that not all students will have the ability to learn algebra. Fortunately, there are many jobs in life that do not require that kind of knowledge. Learning life skills can be more important for an individual student -- reading, writing, how to handle a checkbook, how to pay bills, how to work hard, how to set a realistic goal and then persistently work at achieving it, etc.

[Kelli in TN]

Well my little guy is only 8, so his academic future looms before me as this great, scary place.

 

But I can speak to the here and now. The ped. dev. spec. that tested and examined him advised me to 1) keep homeschooling and 2) use the exact same curriculum I used with my other kids but go sloooow. He is 8 and working at mostly a first grade level, but he does the same caliber of work my other kids did in 1st grade and I have the same expectations for the quality of work. But sometimes we have to split a math lesson into two days so we can go at a pace he can handle.

[Laurie4b]

I homeschooled a foster child who was a slow learner for 2 years.

 

I think that you set them year by year based on what you've observed that year. Revise them as you go. There is no way now to know what will be best when he's 15. However, you do want to make sure that you've opened up options to him that are not just typical academic options.

 

By "go slow" what you do is do about 50% new teaching and 50% review of what has already been taught so that what has been learned sticks.

 

It's a good idea not to cut off options too early; on the other hand, when you see that it is just not "in the cards" for a student to achieve in a certain area, then you change course to what it looks like he or she can do. For instance, if it became apparent the student would really not be able to get above a 5th grade reading level, you would take a fork in the road and start to focus on "survival reading" rather than on other reading skills. Or if he just was not going to "get" algebra (I had a nephew like that), take the fork in the road and figure out what math a person needs to survive well in life and concentrate on that. (I have used nothing but the very most basic algebra in life. It's not really necessary beyond that basic level. However, being able to plan a budget is necessary.) I would start incorporating basic life skills in math and reading early on, teaching them explicitly. For example, when going on a short trip to the grocery store, you might have him take a calculator and add up the price of what you're buying. Tell him what you have available to spend. When you get to the register, ask if you will have enough money. You can start where he is and gradually add all of them. Let him see you pay the bills.

 

I think that it's important to incorporate possible career choices and skills with any child, but especially so with a "slow learner" because they may not have until the end of college to figure all that out. Having areas where they excell and are contributers becomes very important to their self-esteem and future place in the world. For instance, my foster daughter was actually better at watching the baby than I was because she would really sit there and watch him. I would be watching him plus doing something else, and potentially be distracted, but by golly, she *watched*, LOL! Good work attitudes and habits are very important to instill (for any child). Keep an eagle's eye for things your child is good at from the get-go. Does he get along well with others? Is he good at sticking to a task? Is he good with his hands? Broaden your horizon from academic types of gifts to any type of gift. When you find an area he's good at, work to develop it. It's even more important to develop his strengths than to remediate his weaknesses.

 

The other thing I would advise is to pay attention to your social circle. I think it's harder on a kid who is a slow learner to be born into a family with college-educated parents than to be born into a family with working-class parents. One thing that I would have done differently if our foster daughter had stayed with us would have been to go to another church. Our church is the core of our social life and the supermajority of people there are college educated and beyond. They are not all rich, but nearly all are very educated. I would have gone to a church where there was a greater mix of working class and professionals. This is because though not everyone goes to college, if your predominate social circle is all college-bound, it will be much, much harder on your ds. Make sure that you have in your social circle, several examples of good folks who are not college-educated. It's likely that not all their children will be college-bound, either, but your ds won't have to struggle with not fitting in socially. In other words, as her parents, it would have been easier for us to adjust to socializing with folks who were not educated than for her to be pretty much the only kid not going to college in the youth group. Who was she going to date? Who shared her interests? KWIM? So include social goals as part of your homeschool goals.

 

Remember, that academic gifts are only one type of gift. Everyone has something important to contribute to the world. As a Christian, I believe that the person's contributions to the Kingdom of God are what really count. In the Kingdom, those who are thought of by the world as less "gifted" are often those who contribute most. So as a Christian, I would include spiritual goals for my child as well.

[Kelli in TN]

Laurie,

It wasn't even my question, but your post brought me to tears. It is so realistic and so optimistic and just so.....words fail me.

 

Going to go give my little special guy an extra kiss for luck now. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Laurie.

[Laurie4b]

I'm so glad to have been encouraging to you. :)

[Tami]

Wow, great post, Laurie! I just take it one day at a time, and try to set her up for success, while challenging her. I also agree that character is the main issue, and that everyone has different areas of giftedness. College is not the BE all END all. My goal is that she would shine her light and be a blessing to others around her.

 

Practically, this means:

 

The main thing is to keep the main things the main things! I will not allow myself to get bogged down in minutia.

 

Choose programs that practice, practice, practice and review, review, review. CLE a year "behind" has been great for us in this regard

 

Not worry about grade level, but just teach her where she is and progress from there

 

Spend time everyday on productive free time where she can develop areas of giftedness.

 

Purpose to spend no more than 50% of her day on weaknesses. (Got this tip from Joyce Herzog and it has been invaluable.)

 

Stay away from spending oodles of time with negative and toxic people. My child needs encouragement, not a judge and jury. Pray for them and be polite, but guard the time.

 

 

I will take her as far as she can go, academically. I have no idea where that will be. We focus on a foundation of diligence and good habits. The rest will take care of itself, and she will go as far as the Lord wills. I trust in God to do His part if we are diligent to do ours, and at this point, I feel at peace.