mooooom Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 I wanted my kids to start volunteering on a regular basis, but have had a really hard time finding something for the boys to do - they are 15. They wanted nothing to do with kids or animals, and I really had trouble finding anything else out there (and they had no ideas). I finally asked at the library, and they wanted them. They both worked in the children's room over the summer (2hrs a week). They fled books and videos, and helped the librarian set up for craft projects, etc. She kept them busy. A hated it - complained about bending down so much to file (the kids books are low down - so I asked if he could volunteer in the regular part of the library instead. The volunteer coordinator acted like she really wanted him, but doesn't seem to be there (or if she is, make herself known to him) after the first two times, so he just kind of wanders around and straightens out books, and of course, hates it. He is very shy and will not go up to the front desk and ask what he can do to help. He also seems to think there are paid pages whose job it is to file books, so he can't do any of that (I'm not sure where he picked it up, or whether it is true or not). I am REALLY trying to let them fend for, and learn how to deal with situations themselves and not be a helicopter parent - but this has been going on for three months now, and I don't see him ever doing anything about it. Should I step in, talk to the front desk, or dig up somebody out back, and explain the stiuation and ask for him to be given things to do, and if not, what do I do (he is NOT going to do it)? This is turning into a bad volunteering experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 :bigear::lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cedarmom Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 Can he go the front desk with you standing beside him for moral support? Or role-play the situation before and help him decide what to say. I think he needs to talk for himself, but it is really hard when you're 15 and shy. I think I would have him do it, but try and find the way that is easiest for him to do it. Maybe you could even start the conversation, "Hi Im __ mom, he wanted to ask a few questions about his job", then let him talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) JMO, but I think volunteering is best when there is some sort of connection for the student with the project and/or people the student is giving time and effort to. Yes, that is not always going to happen. And yes, we sometimes need to volunteer and do something that is not of our natural interest -- and in the process learn lessons of obedience with a cheerful attitude, or even might be surprised and find an unexpected interest. But I think in your situation where it is a regular weekly or monthly committee, and if after several months of obediently going and still your student is not connecting with the project and people and especially is not seeing how his efforts are of benefit, then I would look for some other community service project for him to be involved in. Afterall, isn't part of having our students regularly do community service is to start a lifelong habit of service? I think at this young age, it's good to give them a little experienced guidance to help them find a project they really can get behind -- then the volunteering comes from the heart, not just out of duty to check it off your schedule, and then it is also more likely to become a life habit. How about sitting down with your student and talking it over: "You've been volunteering at the library for several months now, and you don't seem to really connect with this particular project; how about you do some looking around through the phone book, look at various local churches, do some online research -- and see what programs they might have, and see what you can come up with to switch to, and we'll go with something else for community service?" That way, you are giving your student some guidelines/guidance, but not hovering and rescuing -- to switch, he has to put in some research to come up with something else. Perhaps if he really gets stuck, give him a list of local organizations, and some websites, to research. Below are some ideas. BEST of luck! Warmly, Lori D. A GREAT article on why volunteer: I'd suggest starting by having your son read this short article to help "catch the vision" as to why volunteer: http://www.squidoo.com/community-service-ideas Local Organizations that always need volunteers: - Red Cross - local library after school homework helper/tutor to younger students - local food bank - local soup kitchen - local crisis pregnancy center - local animal shelter - local nursing home - adopt a stretch of highway to keep clean - Special Olympics Websites with Community Service Ideas: This 4-H Website has 366 FANTASTIC community service ideas -- many your student could organize/lead a group of other students in! Then he'd have not only the benefit of volunteering, he'd be doing something HE sees is important, AND he'd be doing it with other students (which is always enjoyable), AND if he organizes it he'd be getting the double bonus of learning how to be a leader! http://lancaster.unl.edu/4h/serviceideas.shtml Edited November 15, 2009 by Lori D. added info Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 JMO, but I think volunteering is best when there is some sort of connection for the student with the project and/or people the student is giving time and effort to. Yes, that is not always going to happen. And yes, we sometimes need to volunteer and do something that is not of our natural interest -- and in the process learn lessons of obedience with a cheerful attitude, or even might be surprised and find an unexpected interest. But I think in your situation where it is a regular weekly or monthly committee, and if after several months of obediently going and still your student is not connecting with the project and people and especially is not seeing how his efforts are of benefit, then I would look for some other community service project for him to be involved in. Afterall, isn't part of having our students regularly do community service is to start a lifelong habit of service? I think at this young age, it's good to give them a little experienced guidance to help them find a project they really can get behind -- then the volunteering comes from the heart, not just out of duty to check it off your schedule, and then it is also more likely to become a life habit. How about sitting down with your student and talking it over: "You've been volunteering at the library for several months now, and you don't seem to really connect with this particular project; how about you do some looking around through the phone book, look at various local churches, do some online research -- and see what programs they might have, and see what you can come up with to switch to, and we'll go with something else for community service?" That way, you are giving your student some guidelines/guidance, but not hovering and rescuing -- to switch, he has to put in some research to come up with something else. Perhaps if he really gets stuck, give him a list of local organizations, and some websites, to research. Below are some ideas. BEST of luck! Warmly, Lori D. A GREAT article on why volunteer: I'd suggest starting by having your son read this short article to help "catch the vision" as to why volunteer: http://www.squidoo.com/community-service-ideas Local Organizations that always need volunteers: - Red Cross - local library after school homework helper/tutor to younger students - local food bank - local soup kitchen - local crisis pregnancy center - local animal shelter - local nursing home - adopt a stretch of highway to keep clean - Special Olympics Websites with Community Service Ideas: This 4-H Website has 366 FANTASTIC community service ideas -- many your student could organize/lead a group of other students in! Then he'd have not only the benefit of volunteering, he'd be doing something HE sees is important, AND he'd be doing it with other students (which is always enjoyable), AND if he organizes it he'd be getting the double bonus of learning how to be a leader! http://lancaster.unl.edu/4h/serviceideas.shtml :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 (edited) Hobby groups require volunteers. At the moment, as part of my SCA involvement, I'm the seneschal (president) of our local group. We're a small group, so it doesn't require much, but if I didn't, the group would close since there is no one else able to do it. It does involve being on a couple of mailing lists, writing half yearly reports and doing anything my seneschal boss tells me to. So far that has been forwarding things from the seneschal mailing list to my local list, showing up for a seneschal meeting and participating in a discussion about territory allocation. I also help with data entry for the kingdom's awards database and help out with cooking whenever kiddies allow. I'm also planning an costume class for an event next year. This is not to blow my own trumpet :lol: Just trying to illustrate how all organisations require behind the scenes work to function, and that volunteering still counts if you are also benefiting directly. To use the SCA as an example, being under 18, he wouldn't be eligible to hold office, but would be welcomed gladly if he was to help set up and pack up before and after events, assist in the kitchen, show up to dance practise so there'd be one more bloke (less girls having to dance with other girls,) play music for dancing, serve tables at feasts, help with group projects like banner making, carry baskets for ladies who are struggling with arms full of baby, help fighters armour up, etc. People in the SCA who do things like that will eventually be recognised with awards, and while you might be wanting him to volunteer without rewards, they are very nice for encouraging people to keep doing what they are doing. Apologies if that was clumsily worded, I'm too tired for proof reading to be effective... Rosie Edited November 16, 2009 by Rosie_0801 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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