profmom Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 We usually go out somewhere on Halloween and/or turn out the lights in the front. However, our new house is more open, and we won't be able to fool anyone. Dh thinks it's fine to leave the porch light and front lights off and not answer the door (even though light from other rooms will show some through the top windows, etc.) Even though we don't celebrate Halloween, I wouldn't mind handing out candy. However, our 4 yo has been going through some fear issues lately, and I don't want to add to that by letting her see costumes that could scare her or give her nightmares. We've gone to church events for kids some years, but we'd really rather just stay home. Do you think it's rude to not hand out candy on Halloween if we're home? WWYD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 No, just turn off your porch light. Not a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 No, just turn off your porch light. Not a problem. :iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 You're not obligated to hand out candy. Turn off the front porch lights (universal sign that you are not participating) and go about your business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Not rude in the slightest. Turn off the porch light. Keep the indoor lights blazing away if you wish! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I don't know if it is rude, but if you don't want to hand out candy then don't. It is your house, so you get to decide lol. My dad will be home and not handing out candy, and when we get home we won't be handing it out either. Do expect people to knock though even with the lights off, because apparently no one pays a bit of attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 However, our 4 yo has been going through some fear issues lately, and I don't want to add to that by letting her see costumes that could scare her or give her nightmares. My 2yo got away from me one Halloween (we were at a friend's house) and I will never forget the sound of her scream when she got to the door and a kid in that white mask from the movie Scream was standing there. It ripped my heart apart. This is the major reason we stay home now on Halloween. We don't answer the door, we keep the porch light off and if someone still knocks we ignore it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Not rude at all. It's your choice to participate. We have many houses in my neighborhood whose lights are off, but clearly someone is home. Some people do not believe in Halloween, or maybe their children are sick... there are a number of reasons why they are not giving out candy, but I can't judge. I just tell my son that we can only go to the houses with porch lights that are on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Yes make sure your outside lights are off. I noticed last year some people had 'security' lights that were on, but they weren't home. It also helps if you don't have lots of Halloween decorations outside your house. You may still get stray trick or treater especially from over-eager kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kfamily Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 In our neighborhood many of the houses keep their lights off and this is a signal not to disturb them. And just for another option, although there is nothing wrong with not answering the door, you could set a bowl of candy on the porch with a little sign reminding the little ones to only take one or two pieces. Many houses in our neighborhood do this too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I don't think it's rude and you are well within your rights. I wish more people would take a pass on Halloween! I really don't care for Halloween or the whole trick or treat concept. However, there are people in our neighborhood who love Halloween and would consider it rude or at least anti-social... it's a big fun for the kids, chat with the adults kind of night. So we play along as a small concession toward getting along with our friends and neighbors who we really enjoy as a general rule. Not saying your neighbors will think that or that what they think should matter anyway, just something to consider as you make your decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 The only time it is rude is if your kids are trick or treating at other peoples houses. This is not the case with you so no problem, not rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 And just for another option, although there is nothing wrong with not answering the door, you could set a bowl of candy on the porch with a little sign reminding the little ones to only take one or two pieces. Many houses in our neighborhood do this too. that would be a great compromise, a few of our neighbors have done that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooketopia Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Ditto to all the porch lights off, and if you want no doorbell ringing whatsoever, simply tape a sign to your door that says something like "No More Candy." That's what we do when we run out and it keeps folks from knocking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Halloween and Trick or Treating! Always have. My kids give out long before I do. That being said, I don't think it's rude at all not to participate. What ever floats your boat! We never knock on any door with no outdoor lights on. Just leave your lights out and for extra measure, tape a sign on your doorbell, "no candy". You should be good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) In our neighborhood many of the houses keep their lights off and this is a signal not to disturb them. And just for another option, although there is nothing wrong with not answering the door, you could set a bowl of candy on the porch with a little sign reminding the little ones to only take one or two pieces. Many houses in our neighborhood do this too. We have done this -- we leave the bowl of candy AWAY from the front door. The year the twins were born, we had only been home from the hospital a couple days when it was the 31st -- DH put painter's tape over the doorbell with a huge sign - Please Do Not Ring The Bell -- and we had the candy at the end of the driveway. One little kid rang the bell b/c he wanted us to know that someone had put tape on our doorbell. :glare: And this was with the porch light and lights on the first floor turned off. But, by all means, since you do not celebrate, you certainly do not have to make concessions by handing out candy or anything like that. Turn off the porch light -- that should make it obvious that your bell should not be rung. Frankly, I must be getting old because I am SO tired of Halloween and trick or treating. Edited October 30, 2009 by MariannNOVA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 We usually go out somewhere on Halloween and/or turn out the lights in the front. However, our new house is more open, and we won't be able to fool anyone. Dh thinks it's fine to leave the porch light and front lights off and not answer the door (even though light from other rooms will show some through the top windows, etc.) Even though we don't celebrate Halloween, I wouldn't mind handing out candy. However, our 4 yo has been going through some fear issues lately, and I don't want to add to that by letting her see costumes that could scare her or give her nightmares. We've gone to church events for kids some years, but we'd really rather just stay home. Do you think it's rude to not hand out candy on Halloween if we're home? WWYD? I agree with your DH. You are not at all obligated to participate in the rituals of a celebration you don't celebrate! And this is from a mom who "does" do Halloween! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom3tn Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Nope, it's not rude and you shouldn't feel like you have to hide out in your own house either, LOL. We go out trick-or-treating, so we do as someone else suggested and leave a bowl of candy outside. If you wouldn't mind giving out candy but just don't want to answer the door, this is a nice compromise. OTOH, if you don't want to participate at all, you don't have to and you don't need to feel badly about it. Just turn off your porch light and ignore the few that will try anyway. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddhabelly Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 but just want to remind you that it is called TRICK or treating. So you might want to look like you're not home. You know, to avoid the tricks. Julie (who may or may not have toilet papered homes as a child) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Yes. You asked. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patchfire Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Honestly, I would make every effort for the front rooms to be darkened. If you can be on a different level of the house than the front door, I would do that. Many homes around here purposely have their porch light off or black light or similar to make it more "spooky," so we have to go by who looks home. When we run out of candy, we close all doors and turn off all the lights. One year we accidentally left our carport light on. We had people knocking on the back door at 8:30 pm... because there was a light on in the dining room, plus the carport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpupg Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Do you think it's rude to not hand out candy on Halloween if we're home? No. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 No I don't consider it rude, but don't be surprised if people try to bang on your door anyway. :iagree: We used to avoid Halloween because our oldest was very fearful. We found it hard to leave the house and go anywhere without seeing a scary costume. So, we tried staying home with the porch and main lights off (only the TV on in the main room), but people knocked on the door all night anyway. Some people just wouldn't give up and move to the next house. We had several who just knocked louder and continuously until we finally opened the door and told them to go away. So, we compromised by going to the church's harvest festival. We don't agree with the harvest festival thing; it's just Halloween by another name, but at least scary costumes aren't allowed there. That's what we do every year now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) Do you think it's rude to not hand out candy on Halloween if we're home? WWYD? You are kidding, right? Let me say what I think is really rude. Children will be knocking on our door begging for treats who will not even say hello to you any other time you see them. They come up tramping through my garden, even though we leave our porch lights off and close the drapes. Even though we have never given out candy since we have lived here (12 years), they still stomp (no kidding) on our porch to knock as the dog barks wildly and ring the doorbell repeatedly. Little eyes try looking into the windows, as if this yearly ritual gives them the right to invade your privacy (which is why we now close the drapes), and we try to ignore them hoping that they will not be the type of children to do tricks, as some do. We do not answer the door because once the door opens, there is a deluge of children thinking you gave some candy away even as the other children walk away saying we are not giving candy. There is no other time we will see most of these children. Some are even dropped off in our neighborhood by van loads and do not even live here. They run quickly through the neighborhood and then pile into the van to go to the next one. Every child gets more candy than he should eat in a year! I know. I sound like the Halloween Scrooge, but this holiday seems to flourish with rudeness. It is unbelievable that people are actually expected to hide out in their own homes or go away from their homes to avoid it. Edited October 30, 2009 by Seeker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 We usually go out somewhere on Halloween and/or turn out the lights in the front. However, our new house is more open, and we won't be able to fool anyone. Dh thinks it's fine to leave the porch light and front lights off and not answer the door (even though light from other rooms will show some through the top windows, etc.) Even though we don't celebrate Halloween, I wouldn't mind handing out candy. However, our 4 yo has been going through some fear issues lately, and I don't want to add to that by letting her see costumes that could scare her or give her nightmares. We've gone to church events for kids some years, but we'd really rather just stay home. Do you think it's rude to not hand out candy on Halloween if we're home? WWYD? Honestly, I think it is scrooge-y. If you really don't want your 4 yo to see the costumes, an adult could sit in the driveway with a basket of candy and hand it out for a couple hours. Chat with the neighbors, contribute to supporting the dental industry, etc. I think if you really don't want to do it, you should go out of the house for the couple hours (movie, dinner out, whatever) or find a better hiding spot in the house. (Do you have a finished basement? Or a DVD player in your masterbedroom to have a family kids' movie night on the bed with the blinds drawn and the lights low?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 We will be home but not handing out candy. I plan on adding a sign to my door if people want to come ring my bell that we have H1N1, that should keep them away. Other years we have gone out to trick or treat in grandma's neighborhood, but this year with sick kids I plan on staying home and getting the kids to bed early. I also know someone will be watching my house and my neighbor's house(it is a duplex) to make sure we don't get egged/vandalized etc. as we have in the past for not being home to hand out candy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Not rude. Not an obligation. Your choice to participate or not. My dd is trick or treating in her father's subdivision with him, his boyfriend is handing out candy from their house. As for me? I'm staying inside and handing out nothing. I have a dog that goes crazy when someone knocks on the door and my cat likes to escape. There is no way I'm going to open the door to strangers, listen to the dog go nuts and try to keep the cat inside. It's your home. You shouldn't have to feel you must leave it because you don't want to participate in trick or treating. Turn off the porch light, close the front drapes and enjoy your evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I'm surprised that some people actually think it's rude. We go trick or treating, and love it, but I wouldn't expect someone to give my children candy on a holiday they don't celebrate! That seems really odd, to me. I can't think of any other holiday where a person would be considered rude to others for not participating.....? And for most of us, Halloween is probably not even the most meaningful holiday. It certainly doesn't bother me if someone doesn't take part in that day. We have even stopped by a neighborhood friend's house on Halloween once, not realizing she didn't celebrate Halloween. It was a little awkward when she apologized for not having candy and we realized she didn't celebrate Halloween for religious reasons, when we (who are also Christians) stood there in full Halloween gear, but she was kind and gracious, complimented the kids on their costumes, etc. I felt bad for putting her in that position without realizing it, but I certainly didn't think she was rude for not participating in the holiday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 We usually go out somewhere on Halloween and/or turn out the lights in the front. However, our new house is more open, and we won't be able to fool anyone. Dh thinks it's fine to leave the porch light and front lights off and not answer the door (even though light from other rooms will show some through the top windows, etc.) Even though we don't celebrate Halloween, I wouldn't mind handing out candy. However, our 4 yo has been going through some fear issues lately, and I don't want to add to that by letting her see costumes that could scare her or give her nightmares. We've gone to church events for kids some years, but we'd really rather just stay home. Do you think it's rude to not hand out candy on Halloween if we're home? WWYD? Not rude. I think most know that no porch light or lights out means don't knock, but you'll still probably get some knocking anyway. If you don't want to answer, I wouldn't consider it rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) Halloween etiquette in recent times has been "porch lights on, knock...porch lights off, not participating" And I really don't get where people think it's rude when there are many people that don't participate on religious grounds. Edited October 30, 2009 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Let me say what I think is really rude. Children will be knocking on our door begging for treats who will not even say hello to you any other time you see them. They come up tramping through my garden, even though we leave our porch lights off and close the drapes. Even though we have never given out candy since we have lived here (12 years), they still stomp (no kidding) on our porch to knock as the dog barks wildly and ring the doorbell repeatedly. Little eyes try looking into the windows, as if this yearly ritual gives them the right to invade your privacy (which is why we now close the drapes), and we try to ignore them hoping that they will not be the type of children to do tricks, as some do. We do not answer the door because once the door opens, there is a deluge of children thinking you gave some candy away even as the other children walk away saying we are not giving candy. There is no other time we will see most of these children. Some are even dropped off in our neighborhood by van loads and do not even live here. They run quickly through the neighborhood and then pile into the van to go to the next one. Every child gets more candy than he should eat in a year! I know. I sound like the Halloween Scrooge, but this holiday seems to flourish with rudeness. It is unbelievable that people are actually expected to hide out in their own homes or go away from their homes to avoid it. This is exactly how I feel, and I do call myself the Halloween Scrooge too! But many people who consider this holiday more fun/exciting/important than any other day of the year see it differently. I think they're a little whacked out, even my good friends who are Halloween lovers, but they probably think that about me on some other topic so I guess it's all fair in the end! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I don't think it is rude not to give out candy, but it is not very friendly either. But I won't hold it against you if you don't pass out any candy. :001_smile: It is such a small gesture to pass candy out once a year to the neighbor children. If you can afford it, why not go with being on the more generous side. I know that things are very tough for some people and passing out candy -( with the prices pretty high this year) could be more than they can afford. Some cannot afford to keep their family in groceries so it does not make sense to spend their grocery money on candy. So I think some people should not spend money on candy. We get so many trick-or-treaters that I spent around $25 on candy this year. I think it's sad when someone is offended by little children in costumes rather than enjoying seeing them have a fun evening. Not that YOU are offended by little children in costumes, but I think some people are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Well, no, it isn't rude. "Rude" would be if someone knocked on your door and you threw it open and shouted, "NO CANDY!" That's rude. This isn't a question of rude or not. It isn't manners. If you don't want to give out candy, don't turn on your porch light. If someone comes to the door anyway, you could answer the door and kindly say that you're not giving out candy. Or maybe you could put a sign on the door that says, "Sorry, we aren't doing candy this year." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) We never handed out candy when I was a kid. We turned the porch light off and pulled down the shades of the front windows. That was it. I didn't think it was rude (I find it far more rude to be handed a tract and told to come to Jesus...especially as we're Christians). I still don't think it was rude. My g-parents didn't want to hand out candy (though they allowed me to if I wanted to). FTR: We trick-or-treat and celebrate Halloween. (And if children actually lived in our area we would hand out candy.) ETA: I'm of two minds about this. Could you set a bowl out on the porch? I knew a lot of families who did this growing up. If you're philosophically opposed to handing out candy, then I wouldn't. Eh. I don't know. I think I'm up to late and putting way too much thought into this! Edited October 30, 2009 by chaik76 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 It's unneighborly, and let's down the little children who get all excited dressing up in their costumes and just want to go around the neighborhood for a little "trick of treat" fun. Bill (who's not surprised one bit ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 It's unneighborly, and let's down the little children who get all excited dressing up in their costumes and just want to go around the neighborhood for a little "trick of treat" fun. Bill (who's not surprised one bit ) Not unneighbourly when (a) these people probably already know their neighbours (b) already do other things with/for these families and © their neighbours probably already have a heads up that these particular families don't participate for whatever reasons. There are plenty of other houses with people that do participate that those children won't be all worked up over the few that don't. It would be like saying someone is rude for not celebrating Christmas, Ramadan, or Chanakah along with those that do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 It would be like saying someone is rude for not celebrating Christmas, Ramadan, or Chanakah along with those that do. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I'd be interested to know how many of the kids out trick or treating could give a coherent explanation of the history and meaning of Halloween? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmoe Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Is it rude to not hand out candy? Nope. Is it rude to come begging to someone's door. Yes. Seriously, my kids love Halloween and I have found it to be a bonding time for neighbors in most places I've lived. I have never even thought that the neighbors not handing out candy were rude. Perhaps, they don't celebrate Halloween. Perhaps, they didn't buy candy for what ever reason. Perhaps, they are busy doing something else. Perhaps, they are feeling grumpy tonight and don't want to bother with a bunch of kids. Who knows---what does it matter. My kids always get more than enough candy. We always get to visit with neighbors. My kids get to dress up and have fun. The evening is always enjoyed even if some neighbors don't participate this year. What ever you decide to do--don't feel bad about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I leave a basket of candy out front with a sign to take two pieces. I have done it for years. Works wonderfully! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 There are many neighborhoods, like mine, where all the homes are occupied by elderly people who have trouble racing back and forth to the door to accommodate trick-or-treaters. Luckily, we have had one trick-or-treater in 6 years. I have done the leave candy out at the door thing before and there is usually lots left. For those who think it is rude, I am speechless. Is it rude when neighbors don't decorate for Christmas, if you celebrate? I guess I have always just thought that if we as a family celebrate a particular holiday then that requires that we find something to do- and we have almost never gone trick-or-treating. There are many, many options around here for fun things to do at Halloween. This year, Dh is taking Dd to a costume wedding. Ds and I are volunteering at a fall festival through the county for little kids to come and play games and wear costumes and eat candy. We will either paint faces or help with games. Then we will go home to our dark house and watch scary movies and eat popcorn and candy that we purchased. It's available everywhere and is very inexpensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 No, just turn off your porch light. Not a problem. :iagree: We will be home and not passing out candy, either. I have no idea how someone could consider that rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 One little kid rang the bell b/c he wanted us to know that someone had put tape on our doorbell. :glare: :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 One of the things I hate most about my house is that we don't get trick-or-treaters. I LOVE answering the door and handing out candy, but we're in the "way back" of our development where there are few children and houses are spread far apart. So we load up our car and head to the "community" trick-or-trunk, where about a dozen families get together and give candy to literally hundreds of children. *I* love it, but it's obviously one of the stranger social traditions in this country, and I hate to think that some people are scoffed at for opting out. It's ONE little day. Being discussed by people who opt out of an average of 180 days of another social tradition. Puhleeze! If it were me, I'd put a sign on the door. Some people will ignore a lack of porch light, but also keep in mind that Halloween is on a Saturday. When I was growing up, weekends made for a longer t-o-t time frame, usually starting before dark (especially for the very little kids). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) It's unneighborly, and let's down the little children who get all excited dressing up in their costumes and just want to go around the neighborhood for a little "trick of treat" fun. This is the mindset that I do not understand. It is unneighborly of me to let all those little children down because their families got them all hyped up about going house to house in the dark in costumes to threaten each of their neighbors with "Trick or treat!" even if they have no intention of following up with mischief (but if they don't get their treat some think they have the right to do mischief) or at least beg for candy from people their parents do not even say hello to out on the street. I give out cookies and banana bread and other items through the year to my close neighbors. I face paint (for free) the children of our neighborhood every now and then. If a neighbor asks to borrow an egg or our ladder, I readily give it. I just don't celebrate this particular holiday for many reasons. I did not even like it as a child when my mother made me go out doing it. One town I lived in banned trick or treating for two years because of how many children ended up in ER from the "tricks" within their "treats." It all seems so innocence, even secular, to most people, including many of my fellow Christians, who have chosen to see it as just a fun dress up and candy holiday; I am not condemning their customs or beliefs. Yet, there is no one holiday like Halloween, when scary, evil, and occult attributes are celebrated, or at least imitated, so openly and widely and for that reason I just cannot see Jesus celebrating this holiday as it is done here and now. Other holidays have become less important. Halloween is the exception. It has become more important. ~ Howard Davidowitz I find this quote quite sadly true because most, not all, holidays are about honoring something worth our remembering. Edited October 30, 2009 by Seeker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Honestly, I would make every effort for the front rooms to be darkened. If you can be on a different level of the house than the front door, I would do that. Many homes around here purposely have their porch light off or black light or similar to make it more "spooky," so we have to go by who looks home. When we run out of candy, we close all doors and turn off all the lights. One year we accidentally left our carport light on. We had people knocking on the back door at 8:30 pm... because there was a light on in the dining room, plus the carport. Isn't there a beginning and end time in most towns? It only lasts a couple hours. In our town usually 6-8. We live in the country (and buy a little candy every year just in case) and no one ever comes out here. As for someone knocking at 8:30, I would just inform them they needed to be going home now--Trick or Treat is over! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 ... only if you feel everyone is entitled to at least one free piece of candy from you on 10/31. It is rude to be home and not hand out candy and money (unicef donations) on Halloween? Is it rude to hand out candy but not money on Halloween? Is it rude to run out of candy and then dare to stay at your somehow illuminated home? It is being no fun, and labeling oneself as literally "the lights are on but no one is home" family, but none of it is rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lgm Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) Whether it's rude or not depends on your neighborhood - is it one where people do participate in american traditions? Are your children out trick-or-treating while you give out nothing? I think the bigger problem is that halloween has been supersized such that it's not a neighborhood event anymore. Handing out candy was fun when it was just the neighborhood children and we could chat with the parents and complement the children on their costume making efforts. In the last few years I feel like its robbery - the participants aren't from my town, they are dangerous hopping in an out of the vehicles, and many are asking for more candy "one for my sick brother, one for the baby who is sleeping...". How much is enough? Who gives infants candy? And why would you take your children to a strange neighborhood (the children who are visiting grandparents are obvious b/c grandpa or grandma, the real neighbor, is taking them around)? Most of my senior neighbors have stopped participating as it is too expensive to buy for the surrounding 15 mile radius. I usually get 500 children in good weather; 350 in bad. There are less than 50 children that live within 2 miles of me. Edited October 30, 2009 by lgm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barb B Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 NOt rude. Letting kids down? Really, be serious - have you seen how much candy kids get. I don't think they will be let down by not getting candy from me! Read about the history of halloween and the is Someone much more improtant that I care about not letting down. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Not unneighbourly when (a) these people probably already know their neighbours (b) already do other things with/for these families and © their neighbours probably already have a heads up that these particular families don't participate for whatever reasons. There are plenty of other houses with people that do participate that those children won't be all worked up over the few that don't. It would be like saying someone is rude for not celebrating Christmas, Ramadan, or Chanakah along with those that do. :iagree: Exactly. It is NOT rude OR unneighbourly. It would be rude and unneighbourly of me to teach my kids that all people must celebrate what we do, the way we do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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