Just Me Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Writing things out just does not lend itself to sarcasm does it? IRL I am a very considerate person, who rarely offends others. (I hope!) But sometimes, when I post online, I fear that I have offended someone with my reply. I don't mean to. The thoughts just don't translate and sound the way they did on my head!! Please, some tell me they have felt this way!! :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.griff Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 It's why I quit posting a long time ago, LOL. I never intended the posts to be offensive, really- but they just came across that way so I stopped. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh, yeah. I'd have to say that's one of the reasons I rarely post. I would hate for something to be taken the wrong way and make someone mad at me:eek: I tend to lean towards the sarcastic side, anyway. That doesn't always serve me well in real life, so I'm overly cautious here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Writing things out just does not lend itself to sarcasm does it? IRL I am a very considerate person, who rarely offends others. (I hope!) But sometimes, when I post online, I fear that I have offended someone with my reply. I don't mean to. The thoughts just don't translate and sound the way they did on my head!! Please, some tell me they have felt this way!! :o Yes, I have felt this way. I think though, that if your intention is not to offend anyone, then you're not likely to - and if someone IS offended, then it's more because they are thin-skinned, or looking for some reason to be offended, KWIM? People can (and should) ask for clarification if they're not sure they're understanding you correctly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 is to stay in the persona you are in them. I am a much fiercer person in some situations, much more flamboyant in speech, and certainly more pointed (blunt) in calling a spade a spade. But I respect that some places have different "rules" and stomping on them gets you no where. I try to take differences with as little emphasis as possible. I am not religious. My experience with religious people has NOT been good, IRL (the biggest liars and cheats at work...the smile at your face and say horrible things elsewhere IL's, etc etc), but I'm willing to take each post at face value (i.e. the poster is sincere) as I have nothing to fear from anyone here. They cannot hurt me. I don't fear offending others, but I try not to. Sometimes you just differ, or you touch something that sets off old grievances in someone. Some might be upset by my being honest about the "noisy about how religious they are" hypocrites I've known. Oh well. Do your best. Be funny, be helpful, entertain, learn. But don't "fear". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CookieMonster Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh, yeah. Sometimes I lay in bed at night thinking, "Why didn't I say it this way?" So, I try to be cautious in what I reply to. If I don't have enough time, or can't be gracious, I don't post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaNY Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Yes, I have felt this way. I think though, that if your intention is not to offend anyone, then you're not likely to - and if someone IS offended, then it's more because they are thin-skinned, or looking for some reason to be offended, KWIM? People can (and should) ask for clarification if they're not sure they're understanding you correctly. Well put. I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh, yes! I'll read a post I've written and I just *know* people are rolling their eyes and thinking, "She's such a jerk!" But it doesn't keep me from posting. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AudreyTN Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I think the same things some times. I am a very sarcastic person and it's hard NOT to be that way in "type." That's why I use my smileys a lot! Especially if I think it *may* sound offending. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa at Home Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I don't stress over it at all. I try to be reasonably cautious, but you will never succeed at never offending *someone.* :) ~Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKshanmar Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 After causing offense a few times, by sarcasm not coming through clearly, I have become very careful, hence my posts are soooo bland that they are usually BORING. LOL.:) The smilies should come in handy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 What'd i do wrong now? :) And no, I don't worry about offending people. I certainly try not to, but I am just a very blunt and honest person, so if it offends you, well I'm sorry but I tend not to sugar coat anything--not even with my kids. My favorite saying is "Yeah, and?" :P I'm pretty evil that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh, yes! I'll read a post I've written and I just *know* people are rolling their eyes and thinking, "She's such a jerk!"But it doesn't keep me from posting. :D Never, Crissy!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Never, Crissy!:) Hey! There you are! You're one I was thinking of when I posted about those MIA. And thank you. I'm glad to know someone doesn't think I'm a jerk. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Well, Gothicgyrl and I have ONE thing in common. LOL. We are both frank. :p I try to be careful in the words that I choose and I try to respect the diversity on the board, but some things I'm just passionate about. I realize that, at times, having a conviction at all is bound to offend someone. I'm not easily offended and I try to take folks at face value. I like for folks to know who I am. I'd rather them hate me and actually KNOW who they hate, then like me just because I'm never myself. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylaw Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I think the smileys will help. There's bound to be some hurt feelings eventually. We are a group of hormonal women, after all. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andie Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 We are a group of hormonal women, after all. ;) WHO are you calling hormonal?! I'm not hormonal! I'm PERFECTLY FINE! Humph. I've never been so offended in my life! *huff* :D ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 WHO are you calling hormonal?! I'm not hormonal! I'm PERFECTLY FINE! Humph. I've never been so offended in my life! *huff* :D ;) LOL! Note to self: Don't refer to The Queen of Wild Things as 'hormonal'. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krista in LA Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 All the time. Which is why I didn't post very often on the old boards. I don't feel like as many people actually see my posts on here since it isn't out in the open on the main page so I've actually been posting more. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 LOL! Love the Hormonal thing. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Lynx Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Be polite. Be thoughtful. Read your words and think about how you may come across, if you hit "post." Sometimes, that will lead you to not post :) But for the most part, as long as you are polite and considerate, speak your mind! Offer your opinion! I hate that, as a society, we've become so freaked out over being offended. It is not anyone's right to not be offended. However, I don't like confrontation, and I don't like bad blood. But politeness and consideration can handle just about anything. If we're all afraid to speak for fear of offense, then we're boring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamagistra Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I certainly hope I don't offend. I'm the biggest marshmallow on the planet! :) As long as no one goes after my babies or my chocolate stash, I'm harmless. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenschooler Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Writing things out just does not lend itself to sarcasm does it? IRL I am a very considerate person, who rarely offends others. (I hope!) But sometimes, when I post online, I fear that I have offended someone with my reply. I don't mean to. The thoughts just don't translate and sound the way they did on my head!! Please, some tell me they have felt this way!! :o I am afflicted with a severe case of foot in mouth disease , and my tongue is always firmly planted in my cheek. But my IRL friends 'get me', so I can hold it in a bit on the board. Because of this, I find myself expressing more silliness than sarcasm (because it's less likely to be taken in a way other than intended), so I'm sure most people think I have no brains at all. It's hard to be silly and then be taken seriously, kwim? A good thing about this format is we can just steer clear of certain threads. So if I start acting real goofy late at night, people can just roll their eyes and not even open the thread, instead of having to see it every time they scroll the board and be bombarded with adolescent humor. I hope that wasn't offensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 That's why I usually type up 3 or 4X more posts than I submit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Who, me???:rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serendipity Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Goodness, yes! LOL. :) Then I tell myself to get over it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh, that was so boring. Yawn. JUST KIDDING! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Me Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh my! I leave for an hour or two, and have lots of replies when I return! Thanks for making me feel so good ladies, especially tonight. I realized a couple of hours ago that I have made a rather big mistake at work that is going to affect about 150 people!!! AAUUUGGGHHH!:eek: But really, I do appreciate your replies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh, yes! I'll read a post I've written and I just *know* people are rolling their eyes and thinking, "She's such a jerk!"But it doesn't keep me from posting. :D Crissy, no one has EVER thought you were a jerk!! You win all sorts of nice awards in my book.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh, yes! I'll read a post I've written and I just *know* people are rolling their eyes and thinking, "She's such a jerk!"But it doesn't keep me from posting. :D Oh, yes. All the time. But I have to say, also, that I have come to realize that there is something just as wrong with being perpetually offended as with being offensive. On the boards, and increasingly in real life, I try to assume that people are not trying to be offensive, and to try to hear what they are saying rather than my own "offendedness" which is often based in parts of me that would better be changed, anyway. Patty, I'm putting you in the same category as Crissy. NICE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I try to watch my words, and to not be *personal*, KWIM? But sometimes it just happens that people get offended. And sometimes I'm a doofus; I offended a good friend on another forum just yesterday by being silly. My comments sounded good in my head, but when they were laid out so someone else could actually read them...oh dear :-( Rather than not post, I try to learn from my mistakes (sometimes I'm veeerrrryyyy ssssllloooowww). I have too much to say, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 That's ok Ellie --you can practice on me! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda...inOwasso Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 LOL, I'm sure I've offended many, but not intentionally so I don't worry about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Yes, I know my posts offend sometimes because I'm not that good of a writer and what is in my head and heart does not always translate well into the written word. However, on these boards I can simply say that I'm sorry and didn't mean it the way it was taken and am usually forgiven. It's all in the lack of "tone" kwim? But I do find people on the boards are more willing to admit they didn't understand you the first time around. IRL, otoh, people often take offense with me because I am so blunt ( I see it as honest and up-front as opposed to a back-biter), I'm intense, and I also don't chit-chat. It seems so pointless to me and most women thrive on it. Whatever. These boards are better than real live people to deal with imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKshanmar Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh, that was so boring. Yawn. JUST KIDDING! :) See! I told ya'. But at least you weren't offended. YAWN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Sometimes I wonder if just my presence is offensive, but hey... it takes all kinds, eh? I do try to be helpful where I can and join in conversations that are interesting. The edit feature (for obvious gaffes) and the smilies (for lending some "tone") help a lot. :cool: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umarider Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I think the same things some times. I am a very sarcastic person and it's hard NOT to be that way in "type." That's why I use my smileys a lot! Especially if I think it *may* sound offending. :D I have to laugh because your post reminded me of this college professor I had who would say the most obnoxious, sexist things and then follow it with this slow, staged "Ha! Ha! Ha!, Just Kidding" (in some European accent). For years afterward my best friend (also in that class) and I would use that as our punch line. :rolleyes: Now I hope THAT hasn't offended anyone! :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volty Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 The other day somebody was having trouble getting her dishwasher to work. At the end of my post I wrote: "if all else fails read the instructions". It was supposed to be funny, but a half hour or so later I worried it could be interpreted as "Read the manual, dummy" so I went back in and added a smiley. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitney in KY Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I've been on these boards for 8 years and I quickly realized that to get myself involved in one of the "hot topics" usually does no one good. So, I generally ask a lot of questions, usually questions I need a quick answer to. There are so many "bright" minds on this board, I can't think of a better way to ask a "How to" question. I usually let the sensitive, potential "hot" topics roll on by because usually people end up getting their feelings hurt. I just don't want to participate in that. I have enough trouble here at home without adding any more stress. If I get myself in a "heated discussion" here, it usually takes my mind off things I should be concentrating on IRL. KWIM? (Like school and kids)... Lastly, my personality is such that I want everyone to be happy and to post a sarcastic/offensive comment would do just the opposite. Hope this helps, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenKitty Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Writing things out just does not lend itself to sarcasm does it? IRL I am a very considerate person, who rarely offends others. (I hope!) But sometimes, when I post online, I fear that I have offended someone with my reply. I don't mean to. The thoughts just don't translate and sound the way they did on my head!! Please, some tell me they have felt this way!! :o Geeze, I hope not...I hadn't really thought about it until I saw this post...:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpeach Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Awhile back, I posted on the "what qualifies a hs'er as a veteran." I blurted out what my mind holds as a veteran under my circumstances, using my goals as the requirement for verteran status. My post bounced hurtfully with a regular hiver who is hs'ing her special needs child . . . and I felt horrible when I realized I'd offended her, certainly not meaning to; I spoke out of my own goals and experience and didn't take into consideration the whole spectrum of teaching/learning that is represented on these boards. Since then, I've surfed more, posted less and just mostly use the boards for gleaning information or the occassional ha-ha. Cheers, Tricia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn in Mo Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Some might be upset by my being honest about the "noisy about how religious they are" hypocrites I've known. I can't imagine anyone getting upset about you sharing an experience. The whole thing just makes me sad. My first instinct is to say UGH! People! Others are watching you! If you're not going to act like a Christian, stop telling people you're a Christian because you're giving the rest of us a bad name! But then I fancy I hear God laughing at me. Yeah. I'm human too. Whenever I know I've done something wrong, I try to make it right with other people. But I don't know how many times I've said or done something stupid and had an audience that I never considered. I was joining the thread to say that I strongly STRONGLY strongly prefer in-your-face-honesty. It is so refreshing. I may offend, but it's never my intention. I hope I don't. I try to fix it if I know I have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I hold back a lot. I am a more sarcastic, dry person IRL, but I always figure it won't com e out in print. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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