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When there's only the youngest sibling left


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DS is a senior and folks (aka hs'ing naysayers) have started asking how on earth DS #2 is going to manage being home alone with just mom to interact with all day. A fate worse than death in their eyes as they remember their own mother-child teenage relationship. My boys are close and I realize it will be an adjustment. I accept that DS #2 will miss DS #1 (or at least we all think he will) but was there anything that you really did different in your hs when it came down to having only the youngest left at home? Please share if you did certain things to help with this adjustment too. Co-Ops are not an option for us and the CC is a bit of a drive

 

 

And please share any other responses you gave to these naysayers who say that now's the time to turn to the PS so the youngest has other kids to be around all day long.

 

Carole

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I have four children, but I think I accurately can call our situations similar in this sense. What is coming up is the separation of two siblings who feel close to each other. This has nothing to do with how many people live in the household.

 

My daughter is 10 years old (since March). Her eldest brother is 22, and moved out of the family home last January. She loves him dearly, and misses him all the time, even though two other brothers (15 and 20) still live at home.

 

If your younger son has friends in addition to his brother, then life will continue as it currently is -- but with the added need to adjust to the moving out of the loved older brother. Being the younger child is not the issue which your friends/neighbors make it out to be.

 

Also -- using your own words from the last sentence: ". . . other kids to be around all day long" (bold font to make the point) Homeschoolers already know that this is not a necessary component of healthy growth-and-development !

 

I hope I'm making sense for you !

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folks (aka hs'ing naysayers) have started asking how on earth DS #2 is going to manage being home alone with just mom to interact with all day.

 

I'm not nearly where you are, but every once in awhile I think that when ds is done homeschooling with me, dd will finally have me all to herself, like ds had me for his first three years of life. I told her that awhile ago and she liked that idea. :D (I know, I know, things could change...)

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Um, I have one, he's stuck with me "alone" for 12 years, 5 down, 7 more to go. I wonder if he'll survive. :tongue_smilie: I've pondered about the isolation but then I go and read some of these wonderful posts from ladies that have gone before. They talk about how wonderful it was to homeschool the high school years and I get excited about the possibilities.

 

I wasn't homeschooled but when my sister left for college I loved it. I got the family car, my mom and I could do fun things together, and remember just being more happy. My sister and I weren't the best buddies anyway but I felt I no longer had to compete with her over trivial things.

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My boys are close to the same ages as yours, 17 and almost 13. Folks aren't asking me that question, though. They're assuming I'll put the youngest in school. (:confused:)

 

I have wondered this myself, whether there are practical things to keep in mind as we adjust to being just three in the house.

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My dd graduated last year and Ds is a senior this year. It's been suprising how well he adjusted. He liked being the only one getting the attention for a change instead of having to share Mom with his sister. He's also found several new outlets for friends. His youth group had several people move up this year which he felt more comfortable with since he had spent more time with them. He and his sister have actually continued to stay pretty close, talking to each other often and using facebook a lot. I also gave him a little more time on the playstation playing online versions of games and he has made friends with a couple of boys one of whom they are always talking together. When Dd went off to college I really worried about him, what I found out is that he was able to stretch out and come up with more things to do. Before sister went off to college all he did was do things with her. He didn't really have any hobbies. He compensated all on his own all I had to do is give him more room and treat him more like and adult and of course give him the attention that dd had gotten. I think he'll do fine. Kids are surprisingly very resilient

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DS is a senior and folks (aka hs'ing naysayers) have started asking how on earth DS #2 is going to manage being home alone with just mom to interact with all day. A fate worse than death in their eyes as they remember their own mother-child teenage relationship. My boys are close and I realize it will be an adjustment. I accept that DS #2 will miss DS #1 (or at least we all think he will) but was there anything that you really did different in your hs when it came down to having only the youngest left at home? Please share if you did certain things to help with this adjustment too. Co-Ops are not an option for us and the CC is a bit of a drive

 

 

And please share any other responses you gave to these naysayers who say that now's the time to turn to the PS so the youngest has other kids to be around all day long.

 

Carole

 

ER was going away to college & EK was going into 8th grade. EK is very social, and I was afraid she would have a hard time adjusting to being an "only child". Actually, though, *I* am the one who struggled the most. We started doing more activities with other homeschoolers than ever before. We concentrated more on that than we did on our work at home. Consequently, last year was not a great school year for us, but I'm hoping this next one will be better. We need to find more of a balance between outside activities and working at home.

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as oldest goes to college this fall, and his brother will be an 8th grader. I intend to keep brother at home for high school because I've seen at least one success with this route!

 

Seriously, though, the younger one will continue his sports, homeschool group activities, church choir, playdates with friends, and scouts. The older one did some on-line courses in high school because I wanted outside courses but didn't want to drag the younger one on frequent car rides. Now that it will be just the two of us, I will probably plan on making the trips to the CC and just waiting for him in the library while he's in class. I also feel like I'll have more time to tackle the tougher courses myself with 2nd ds instead of using outsourcing for some. Time will tell.

 

It's amazing to me how so many of our friends and relatives think that homeschooling is suddenly not a good choice for the younger one when the older one leaves. I think they just don't understand homeschooling's benefits regardless of how many children are being taught.

 

JM2Cents,

Brenda

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I read your post and have been following the replies with interest. I'll be in your position in only three years. At that point my youngest will be in grade seven. In another thread on the general board I mentioned that I try not to engage naysayers in conversation. They generally speak from their own "common sense" and I don't find what they say backed up with anything other than anecdotes.

 

But if I found myself forced to respond, I guess I'd say this.

 

DS is lucky to be in this position. He has been dragged around to harp lessons, piano lessons, and other teen activities. He has never been the sole educational focus in our family, but one of two. DD, on the other hand, got about five years of being the sole focus. I am happy that DS will get lots of individual attention in jr/sr. high.

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This will be our final year of homeschooling. My youngest, also a boy, is now 17 and entering his Senior year. Our older two are still living with us (going to college here in town, full time). The very oldest has opted to take all her courses online...so, in reality, my boy will be with two women, LOL.

 

If your son has activities already, then he'll be fine. If not, I'd make the opportunities for him - either in dual enrollment, youth groups, homeschool support groups (not the same as a co-op) or other club around town. Or perhaps, even encouraging him to find a part time job, volunteerwork or apprenticeship. My son has other homeschool boys that he sees roughly three to four times a week...let me tell you, I don't think that cup is ever full...they always are seeking more ways to spend time with one another.

 

The thing I'm running up against, which I didn't expect, is the...is the right word resentment?...that he's displaying right now about starting school again. When it was all the kids together, it was not a thrill, but they were all in it together and I suppose it didn't bother him. Their college courses don't start until the final week of August, and he wants to wait until then as well. He's not a strong student however, and can't afford that much time (we take two longer winter breaks of 3 weeks in total...and that can't be changed). Have you run into the kid not wanting to do the last year?

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