Anxiety is starting to set in about high school

[Krista in LA]

I'm starting to prepare for 8th grade and I'm getting very scared about high school. I want to make sure that I have my dd well prepared for college and hopefully in a position to get some scholarships. Please tell me that I can do this. She is very bright, but also lazy and I think that I let her get away with it too much. If she works hard at something, she will excel. How do I make sure that we accomplish what we need to in high school and what can I do to prepare for it?

 

Any other advice/comfort that you can give me would be greatly, immensely, tremendously appreciated. :eek:

[gardenschooler]

Krista, go read this from the old board. You'll feel better. :)

 

http://wtmboards.com/HSboardJan112008/messages/484.html

[GreenKitty]

I can feel it too, the closer it gets the more I can't breathe.

 

Thanks for the link:)

[kathleen]

I have one son who has graduated college and is now in graduate school. Second son is a junior in high school. The high school years have been the best of all our homeschooling! It really isn't that hard! Seriously.

 

I began homeschooling high school before there were any message boards online (at least any that I knew about). I found a book that walked me through everything--credits, courses, transcripts, standardized testing, college searches--everything. It is called Homeschooling High School by Jeanne Gowan Dennis. I highly recommend that.

 

With our oldest son, I did it all--no outside classes, and he did just fine. He even had a full-tuition scholarship for college. He is a smart cookie, but he wasn't particularly motivated in high school, probably partly because I, like you Krista, let him get away with too much (he was my guinea pig, after all). We used Tapestry of Grace (yr. 3) in his senior year, and he thought it was great--he felt it prepared him very well for his freshman year of college at a tough university.

 

With our second son, we have used some online courses from Scholars Online, Torrey Academy, and Pennsylvania Homeschoolers. Those have all been wonderful, and they also serve to motivate the students a bit more because of firm deadlines and the like. You can also use them for academic recommendations. I have to say, though, I'm much tougher on my younger son! I learned the error of my ways, though my oldest rose to the challenge of managing all his classes, etc. in college. He graduated magna cum laude.

 

So, all this to say--You can do it! Figure out an overall plan for the four years of high school--X credits of English, history, math, science, foreign language, and electives. After you have a general overview, fill it in with specifics--math program, science program, etc. You can do it all via the WTM way, you can do something like Sonlight or TOG, you can use some online classes, co-ops if they are available in your area, or a combination of any of the above.

 

I have loved the high school years so much, that I don't know what I am going to do after my second son graduates at the end of next year :(.

[GreenKitty]

kathleen- Thanks for the book recommendation, I am checking it out at our libary.

[Krista in LA]

Thanks for the link and the book recommendation. Of course our lousy library doesn't have it. Is it one worth buying? I'm trying to breathe deeply and remain calm as I'm reading through the posts on this board.:o

[kathleen]

Krista, yes, I think it's worth buying. There is a new edition since I purchased mine, but I don't have any idea what changes were made, though. You might also look for Cafi Cohen's books on homeschooling through high school, and homeschooling for college admissions. Those are very popular, too, and maybe your library has one or both of those.

[periwinkle]

The post from the old board was from Nan in Mass, who is a great encourager. I haven't seen her on the new forums, and I got to wondering if she has made it here. And who else is missing?

[Jill- OK]

I'm not too much farther ahead of you, but I can tell you this; I think I was more stressed out about it before starting 8th grade, than I am now, as we look towards actually starting high school, next year.

 

As we've worked through the 'housekeeping' academics of this year (I knew I wanted to tie up some loose ends in 8th grade, and make sure some core principles were taken care of befor starting high school) I've already done a good bit of planning for the next; gathering resources, reading requirement information, etc...I think once you get closer and begin the actual process, the anxiety lessens, because, well, sometimes it's worse to *think* about something than actually *do* it.

 

Or, maybe I'm just experiencing some sort of blissful respite, and it will all come crushing back, this fall. :o)

 

Anyway, just wanted to encourage you that the anxiety will likely dissipate, once the actual process gets close, and you see that it's really doable.

 

If you're like me, and are putting a lot of emphasis, in your mind, on 8th grade as a kind of 'last call', that might be a reason for it, too.

[Tressa]

I feel the same. I am planning for 8th grade and I am having panic attacks about continuing through high school. I was getting ready to come on here and ask the same thing.

[Colleen]

If you're like me, and are putting a lot of emphasis, in your mind, on 8th grade as a kind of 'last call', that might be a reason for it, too.

 

It seems from reading the boards over the years that this line of thought is common to many people. A mental wall seems to exist between all that precedes high school and high school itself ~ a wall that quite often is erected as students approach 8th grade. I do think it's a good time for assessment in general, but I'm not sure why it creates such anxiety.

 

I do know, from experience, that I have to read the WTM high school board with a large grain of salt. It's all too easy, while gathering information here, to feel lacking by comparison. I have to remind myself that each of us ~ and our children ~ will have different preferences and priorities. As well, those of us who have been the primary teachers of our children for years now would do well to remember that we're not the be-all, end-all as far as our children's futures are concerned.

[5wolfcubs]

That "what would you do diff in Jr high" thread has really got me thinking. The writing and test taking in particular.

 

Each homeschool year has been piecemealed together, as I try to find something that will ignite a passion for math or grammatically correct writing or Latin in my oldest. We've always homeschooled and I have never found it.

 

Maybe it is time for some outside accountability or correspondence courses or a tutor...

 

Thanks for the thread link, I'm off to check that out!

[Colleen]

Each homeschool year has been piecemealed together, as I try to find something that will ignite a passion for math or grammatically correct writing or Latin in my oldest. We've always homeschooled and I have never found it.

Thank goodness there are whole slew of happy, successful (however you define that) people in the world who never developed a passion for math, grammatically-correct writing, or Latin.:) Maybe the trick is to come at it from a different angle, e.g. "What's my child passionate about?" rather than, "How can I make my child interested in this?".

[Osmosis Mom]

I really agree with Colleen on this. Don't fret over things and do proceed with your child rather than a formal outline in mind. In any case then I firmly believe that what colleges are looking for is individuality and passion as well as leadershio not merely a list of outstanding course-descriptions (having fine standardized scores are also vital imo).

 

While my oldest had definite interests that we cultivated it is now my job as mother and guidance counselor to urge my next kid on to explore her interests and pursue a few or one of them in order to distinguish herself. Keeping myself busy with the younger kids and life in general does not leave too much energy for fretting so let's live those high school years to their fullest instead...

 

Nadia

[Michelle in AL]

I'm in the same place as you, with a dd in 8th grade, who is bright and fairly motivated, but very pokey.

I second the Jeanne Gowen Dennis book.

Some things I'm planning to do for scholarship's sake are: invest in outside classes that a)she shows a talent in or b) those I feel uncomfortable teaching.

I've looked at my choices online and I like scholars online, PA homeschoolers and potter's academy the best for us.

She tests well, so I plan to let her try an SAT subject test, some AP classes in things she excels at and the PSAT in 10th and 11th along with the ACT.

I'm also planning on sitting down with her and mapping out a 4yr subject plan.

Jeanne Gowen Dennis' book will walk you through all your options. It also has blank forms for planning.

Once, you kind of sift through your options I think the confidence grows. Also, seeing all the success reports here really helps me.

[Mad Jenny Flint]

 

If you're like me, and are putting a lot of emphasis, in your mind, on 8th grade as a kind of 'last call', that might be a reason for it, too.

 

This is so true. My son starts 8th next fall. I am definitely calming down as I get things in line for him to do next year, because I see that we will be on track to start high school without too much minutiae dragging us down, kwim?

 

I definitely know this feeling, though.:eek:

[mcconnellboys]

My older son is like this, too. I have come to accept that we can not push them to achieve. We can only give them a good, strong background in the subjects they need to gain college admittance and hope that they will choose to excel on their college entrance exams. If they do not, well, we can't live their lives for them. If they choose a harder path than we would have chosen for them, they will have to travel that path. All we can do is support them.... I do, however, talk to him about my fears and concerns for him on a regular basis, so that he understands WHY I want certain things for him....

 

My son chose to go back into a traditional school this year. I believe that the competitive factor associated with being in a classroom full of other students; the desire to please teachers, etc. has actually been pretty good for him.

 

We still have to talk to him in depth about what sorts of grades he must have on tests and in classes in order to hope for academic scholarships. I have a nephew who is a senior this year and has received numerous academic scholarships. We have been able to use this to give him what, for him, is an all important and relevant real-life comparison so that he can think about how to keep his own work level on par for success.

 

For this particular kid, he really needs to see real-life examples of things in order to integrate them into his thinking and truly understand them. If this might be true for your daughter, then perhaps if you glean examples from your own friends and family it will help her to understand why her work ethic and grades matter.

 

I think sometimes, for homeschoolers, since we tend not to put such a huge emphasis on "grades", they just don't get why they must consistently perform at a certain level. They don't understand all the ramifications of a GPA that's a 4.0, or 3.7, vs. "only" a 3.5. I think a regular job might also help to provide real world evidence of why consistency and quality in a work ethic are important.

 

If you don't think that you can push her to perform, then perhaps high school is the time to begin to try to enlist outside tutors, classes, online or correspondence options with deadlines, etc. I know this can be expensive, but most states offer some options that are more reasonable, as well, if you look around and talk to folks. This is what I did with my own son last year, in his last year at home. He took high school level courses through outside teachers and coops, through UK's high school correspondence program; and some dual credits through Indiana University. He loved his IU courses! Maybe your daughter needs more of a challenge in order to perform. That can often be the case with bright students.

 

For my son this year, as with last, his most challenging class is the one in which he has his highest grade. Go figure. For many bright kids the key is interest level - maybe she needs to participate in helping to shape her curriculum?

 

Anyway, hope I've thrown out some ideas you can use. Good luck to you,

 

Regena

[Chris in CA]

Feeling it here as well. I'm trying to help my dd become more independent in her studies, that seems to be the main goal right now, and I will be considering that heavily when I choose curriculum for next year. Up to now, I've always tended to buy what is most teacher intensive, but now I have to regroup and change a few things.

[Krista in LA]

Regena,

Thanks so much for this post. It was very helpful - I'm going to have to save this one as a little reminder for me now and then.

[Jane in NC]

The post from the old board was from Nan in Mass, who is a great encourager. I haven't seen her on the new forums, and I got to wondering if she has made it here. And who else is missing?

 

I have her email. Should I contact her and tell her that she has been voted ON the island?

[periwinkle]

The island (um, hive) wouldn't be the same without her.:)

[jellybean]

I have the same prob with anxiety...if its not one thing then it's another worrying me. :(