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do you think this is rude for a h.s. graduation?


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my oldest, who was homeschooled until this year, her senior year, will graduate from public school on monday (this was my dh's choice, to put them in ps this year). there are 580 kids in her senior class. we moved 1100 miles away between christmas and new years, so she's only been at this school for 5 months. they are calling each name individually, giving numerous awards, bringing several alumni in to speak, in addition to the regular speakers, valedictorian, etc. it sounds like it will go on and on....

 

so, since i carry a book with me everywhere i go, thought at least i can read through the 575 names of people i don't know and the alumni/short speakers and of course i will listen to the main speaker (probably so i can have an intelligent conversation with my dd about what was right on/terribly misstated). i admit, my attitude is not stellar at this point. she's done well, made friends, but had enough credits to graduate when we moved so hasn't really learned much. and i'm trying not to find it offensive that i teach her everything from 2nd-11th grade, and this public school (dh's alma mater) gets all the credit....

 

i just don't want to be rude, but what do you think? read during the boring parts or sit and act amused?

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I don't blame you if you are offended. I think I would be also.

 

Unfortunately, I do think it might not look very polite to be reading a book at the graduation. It's not like you'll be wearing a sign that says "I don't know any of these people." :)

 

I hope it goes quickly and painlessly for you. Congratulations on doing such a good job with your daughter! You deserve a pat on the back!

 

J

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These things can take hours and hours. If you can read without other people noticing... at least you'll stay awake. You should try, though, to keep it from being horribly obvious. If your cell phone's off, then you'll be way ahead of the curve, anyway.

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I think I'd rely on an iPod and inconspicuous headphones. :) But I'd also be tempted to bring a book. Well, that's because I don't go anywhere without a book. I have a well-packed, survive-an-overnight-trip bag with me pretty much all the time.

 

Just grin and bear it. You know wherein the credit lies, and be grateful that your daughter's accredited diploma will never be questioned. She also knows who taught her to learn. :) Give yourself a nice gift to honor the years of work, and give her a nice gift as well.

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Guest psuqt

I think it would be rude. The other graduates have worked hard (hopefully) for 4 years and all deserve to be honored. It won't be the last time you have to sit through something you don't want to listen to and you'll be modeling good behavior for your child, too. Good luck and congrats to your graduate.

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Might be socially more kind to tough it out and not read. Parents and relatives sitting near you might draw unkind (even if inaccurate) conclusions about you.

 

Perhaps you could pray silently for each young adult graduating as s/he crosses the stage.

 

I remember my own high school graduation clearly. Since Houston is so large a city, graduation ceremonies that needed the large halls/stages were in high demand. So our graduation ceremonies occurred BEFORE final exams were completed. I was sitting with the high school band (which played the insufferable march so well known to everybody), cramming madly for the physics final exam scheduled for the following morning.

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Of course it would be rude. I know you're angry with your husband over all of this, but the only thing you will accomplish by doing this is to make yourself look like... well, something that I'm quite sure you would rather *not* look like.

 

And I think iPod with headphones would be equally offensive.

 

This is a good time to demonstrate to all of your kids how we sometimes make sacrifices and do things we don't really want to do for the sake of others. You won't die of boredom in a graduation ceremony that lasts a couple of hours. And there are other, more productive ways to vent your fury on your husband.

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Of course it would be rude. I know you're angry with your husband over all of this, but the only thing you will accomplish by doing this is to make yourself look like... well, something that I'm quite sure you would rather *not* look like.

 

And I think iPod with headphones would be equally offensive.

 

This is a good time to demonstrate to all of your kids how we sometimes make sacrifices and do things we don't really want to do for the sake of others. You won't die of boredom in a graduation ceremony that lasts a couple of hours. And there are other, more productive ways to vent your fury on your husband.

I seriously agree with every word of this. I've been trying to answer politely, but every comment I have ends up sounding much more harsh than I want it to. Abbey wrote pretty much what I wanted to say.

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i'm not angry with my husband. we started homeschooling when we moved away 13 years ago because we were moving so much and we wanted the kids to have a consistent education. i am not anti-public school. i agreed at that time that if we ever moved back "home" permanently, we would put them in p.s. but in those years homeschooling became much more than an educational choice for me and the kids, it was a wonderful way of life, and *that's* what i miss.

 

but i'm not angry with him. he's been a great support to me in the past year that has seen an abrupt end to my childbearing years with a hysterectomy last summer, an end to my job of home educating my children, and other losses that are too numerous to mention here. i just have a tendency to read everywhere i go without my littles (time is precious y'know!) and wondered if it would be offensive.

 

thanks for all the input, i appreciate it!

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I just have a tendency to read everywhere I go without my littles (time is precious y'know!) and wondered if it would be offensive.

 

thanks for all the input, i appreciate it!

I sooo sympathize! There is just not enough time in my days to complete my necessary work *and* satisfy my reading desires. I sometimes "save" something to think about during graduations. Home decorating/reorganizing, planning a vacation or party, etc. Anything that takes a lot of thought. Sometimes I pray, using it as time when I know I won't be distracted with other work. It's only a few hours (hopefully!) :001_smile:

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I don't "get" graduations and a lot of other "closure" celebrations that most people dote on. That being said, I've learned that it's important to celebrate what's important to other people, particularly my husband and kids. I've learned from hard experience that it's extremely offensive to be caught reading at these events. Don't do it!

 

I suggest that you go to the graduation and be incredibly gracious. Find things to be fascinated by, and work on being charming to all.

 

One of my tricks is people watching. I sit and observe everything, and learn as much as possible from this. It's amazing what you can learn if you are really paying attention.

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so, since i carry a book with me everywhere i go, thought at least i can read through the 575 names of people i don't know and the alumni/short speakers and of course i will listen to the main speaker (probably so i can have an intelligent conversation with my dd about what was right on/terribly misstated). i admit, my attitude is not stellar at this point. she's done well, made friends, but had enough credits to graduate when we moved so hasn't really learned much. and i'm trying not to find it offensive that i teach her everything from 2nd-11th grade, and this public school (dh's alma mater) gets all the credit....

 

i just don't want to be rude, but what do you think? read during the boring parts or sit and act amused?

 

For niece's college graduation recently we were all texting her and each other back and forth throughout the ceremony. It was a big but simple graduation and lasted nearly 2 hours. I forgot my book (shocking since I carry one around with me all the time too) and wish I had it with me. Niece going up to get diploma was near the end of the ceremony... it wasn't alphabetical as we had hoped since her last name starts with a D. Several people were going outside to smoke throughout the ceremony. So to be honest if they can get up, go out for several minutes, and come back all smelling like cigarettes... then no reason others can't sit and read-LOL. Just my humble opinion.

 

Now for us... our twins just finished 8th grade and they refused to attend their promotion ceremony. I hated my high school graduation and so I didn't go to my college one. Nephew refused to go to his high school ceremony. I don't know about the twins when they get to graduating highschool. Probably they won't bother with it and just do a community college graduation in place of high school since they plan to graduate from high school when they finish an associates degree. But plans are up for changing if needed.

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I can only speak from my own experiences and what I would think.

 

If my mom read a book during my hs graduation, it would say to me that her reading was more important to her than I was. To me, my hs graduation was an important thing...I would have been horrendously hurt by a family member reading a book through it. It's a few hours of one's life...is it really necessary to cram in those extra pages during it? What would you lose and what would you gain by choosing to ignore the proceedings so you can move ahead in your book?

 

Congratulations to your daughter, and thank you to you for investing so much effort into her education!

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I know two boys who graduated last week. One was in a class of just over 200 and I was told that in spite of the venue in which the ceremony was held, there was not enough seating. Not that it mattered, because people were not only up and moving throughout the entire ceremony, but were also talking, loudly, throughout. They also began exiting early to beat the traffic, further disrupting the ceremony.

 

The other was in a class about the size of your daughter's class and they graduated in a large city arena. Popcorn, soft drinks, nachos, etc. were being sold throughout the ceremony and people were up and down, eating, etc. throughout.

 

Given the state of most current graduations, I'd say that you probably will not be out of place or seem inappropriate in the least by reading a book. You can always take it and refrain from reading if everyone else is being super-attentive....

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There were hundreds of kids and they took hours calling every name and letting every administrator have the stage for a while. It was painful.

 

BUT there were families there who were just so proud of their children for graduating. There were families for whom I am sure the odds were really stacked against their kids graduating. He went to a very good high school (or so it's been ranked) but our school system has a high drop out rate. Getting a kid all the way through high school was just a HUGE big deal for some of those families. This was their proudest day.

 

Don't read. Don't listen to music. Enjoy watching people watch their babies accomplish something that always wanted for them. Pray for each child that comes on stage if you are a praying person. You can make this a great experience by sharing in other's people's joy.

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