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Helping our dc with direction in life?


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My oldest ds will only be going into 7th grade, but I was wondering if any of you have had good ideas on helping our dc to find their passion. A book title to recommend, or something else that you have tried to inspire them?

 

When I chat with ds about what he might want to do when he is grown his answer still falls along the lines of building a cabin somewhere in the wilderness and living off the land :001_huh:

 

He has always loved nature and outdoors. How would you go about helping him to discover a life within the things he loves??

 

Thanks!

 

Kim

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Hi Kim. :) I can really appreciate where you are at right now. My dd is also going into the 7th grade and I am starting to try to channel her into more specific areas that may be possible career paths for her. For me, I just did a lot of reflecting on her behavior and natural bend. What are the things that she does naturally when she has free time. What things does she have a natural talent for? What things does she always seem to gravitate to and enjoy. With my dd, I noticed that she has always had a love of books. She's been reading since she was 3 years old and she even wrote some very simple books when she was 3. lol They all say things like, "mr. pig, mr. cat, mr. dog" but they are books just the same with illustrations and everything. She has a natural talent for drawing and in her free time she loves to play on the computer, write comic books and stories and draw pictures. I have started narrowing the field for her and will be getting her some computer software that she can do graphic arts with and animate her creations. I also give her a lot of encouragement to continue drawing and writing and even allow her time as part of her school to work on these things. She wrote a book this year (a real one this time hehe) and she also had done many drawings. So for us, I am going to just keep encouraging her in this direction and also try to introduce things into our school day to help her develop and hone those skills. :) This is what we are doing. I hope it is helpful to you. I wonder if your son would like to work in Agriculture or botany or even some type of biology? Does he enjoy science? I was always an outdoorsy kid too when I was young and I had dreams of being a marine biologist, but the math requirements were beyond my abilities so I never quite got there. :blushing:

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Its an issue I think about a lot too.

I think we are such a strongly "career identity" oriented society that its hard not to think of our kids in terms of their future careers and how they will make money etc. But really, that's not the centre of everybody's life- their career. For many people where and how they live is more important that the job they have. In other words, the job supports the lifestlyle.

My dd15 is an artist. She already is very creative and excellent at realistic nature watercolours. She paints and draws for hours a day. She is also a social butterfly, loves the computer and photography....hasnt got a clue what she wants to do for a "real job", you know, the type that makes money :) So I just have to keep letting go of hoping she will fit into a nice box that would make my job as a homeschooling parent easier...and encourage her to follow her passion. Which I do- and I am not negative about her being an artist. She has a part time job as a book-keeper for a friend's business. She is learning the software that goes with that. She is paid an adult wage for it too since she does the job well. So, I just have to trust that life is unfolding for her as it should and not how I think it should. I am open to suggestions she has. I took her to a career information day recently but the only job she was interested in was in computer animations.

I think you can talk about different possible careers and lifestyles, you can expose them to things through television, the internet, career days, but in the end, you can't have them take every extra curricula class to see if they will like it...you just have to trust that the life you are living is "enough" to provide a good foundation.

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Like Ibbygirl my ds 13 is heavily into creating original stories and drawings to go along with it and has been this way ever since I can remember! He also loves video games and Sonic message boards. However when you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up or study in college he alternates between rap star and police officer!!!

 

At 13 years old the maturity level is not there and all those hormones are flying as they go through puberty that kids are just not ready to think in terms of the rest of their lives. So my plan is to continue to speak with him casually about various careers and majors so he doesn't feel pressured and try to expose him to various activities during the year. Half way during 8th grade he will turn 14 and I will have him go through the book Home School, High School, & Beyond: A Time Management, Career Exploration, Organizational & Study Skills Course by Beverly L. Adams-Gordon. This will get him more involved in the planning of his high school years and to help me see if I need to alter any of the plans I've made for him so far.

 

Jennifer

Mother to Noah Age 13

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I think two things are important 1) to be observant and affirm what giftings we see in each of our children and give them possible ideas about how these giftings translate into career, hobbies, volunteer work, etc. in adult life. When we see a particular natural strength and preference, we should by all means "feed it" making sure that part of our child is well-nurtured. 2) On the other hand, I think we should be very careful about "pruning" off options while our kids are still in high school. My goal is to graduate my kids with their options open. e.g. Oldest ds is gifted in music and writing. Doesn't really like math or science. However, he must still take reasonably rigorous math and science courses. HE can be the one who prunes once he gets to college. I don't expect him to change at this point, but my job as I see it is to keep his options open while still feeding his strengths more.

 

For some children, this is naturally evident. For instance, two of my sons have looked like engineers from toddlerhood. Neither dh nor I have anything like that gifting, but...both of our fathers do! Gf's live distantly, so it's not environmental, but it's also not surprising genetically.

 

Other kids appear to be more "generalist" in nature and I think they may be discovering all the way through high school and we need to help them explore.

 

One thing I've done is to have my kids spend time with people who do jobs they might like to do when they're older. By senior year, this might develop into internships.

 

Several teens in our area use cc courses to explore career paths. For instance, one recently graduated from high school with some kind of nursing certificate (maybe medical assistant?) which required her to actually spend time in patient care. If she'd not liked that, she would have known in high school, not after several years in the wrong direction in college.

 

Finally, I'm looking in to my high school students seeing a career counselor. I think some of the aptitude tests can be helpful.

Edited by Laurie4b
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As a young teen, he is only beginning to discover what's "out there", and his interests are just starting to be awakened. Keep in mind that interests are likely to change a LOT from the time a kid is entering his teens to the time he is ready to go to college or start his career. It's a great idea provide him with opportunities to explore/pursue his interests, but even then, what seems to be a passion right now might not be so exciting to him in a few years, or even in a few months. This was certainly the case for us.

 

From early in his preteen years, ER's plan was to become an engineer, specifically a robotics engineer. His dream was to work for NASA, designing and testing robotics equipment for the Space Shuttle or for the International Space Station. It seemed to be his destiny. So we accomodated that interest as fully as we could. During his 8th grade year, we set aside the Apologia science sequence he was on (already having done General & Physical), and he did an entire year of Space Science instead.

 

However, that same year (8th grade), ER began to develop a love for music. He found that he had a gift for understanding music theory and for writing music. Gradually over the next few years, he also developed a passion for ministry, particularly as a music/worship leader. He became the leader of our church's praise band, and also was part of another praise band that played in various venues around our state. This past fall, he went away to college to major in music and prepare for a career in ministry. His calling took a completely different direction than we had expected.

 

ER still enjoys science, though; after that year of Space Science in 8th grade, he went on to finish our originally-intended Apologia sequence (Biology, Chemistry, Physics & Advanced Chemistry) in high school. He loved the Physics and the Chemistry. He no longer wants to be an engineer, although he does want to take some chemistry classes (maybe even as a minor?) in college, but his focus right now is his music and his ministry.

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I agree that at this age they are still young and trying to find their way. I have a recommendation for some good foundational reading. It's series of three books written by Bob Schultz; Boyhood and Beyond, Created for Work and Practical Happiness. You can probably get these from your library. These books are great for fathers and sons to go through together. There are a few questions at the end of each chapter to discuss and think about.

 

Have a great day!

Cornflower

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